Today, I was sick from both ends at work. My boss wouldn't let me go home, and told me to borrow a pair of spare pants to change into. I suffered another bout of gastroenteritis and shit someone else's pants. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was constipated and strained so hard that I threw up into my pants and all over my shoes. I was at work, and no, I didn’t have a change of clothes. FML
Today, I have food poisoning. My boss told me that if I didn't come into work, I'd be fired. Not 30 minutes after sitting down, I sneezed and shat my pants. My boss still won't let me leave. FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML
Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML
Today, as a reward for starting to eating healthy, I got the squits at work. After going to the restroom, my stall didn't have toilet paper, the other two stalls didn't have any either. My boss definitely noticed too when he walked in on me with my pants around my ankles. FML
Today, at work, the seat of my pants ripped open. A coworker lent me a pair of his back-up jeans, and then those ripped in the crotch. FML
Today, the bladder infection I thought I was over flared up at work, causing me to piss myself, despite having gone twice in the previous hour. I still had to finish my shift, soaked pants and all. FML
Today, at work, I had a coughing fit so bad I actually shat myself. What felt like a gallon of liquid crap poured down my trouser leg onto the floor. I work in a competitive office and this happened in front of 30 spiteful coworkers who love posting pics online. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
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Top comments
ThrottleJockey 36
Time to get HR involved.
Joshwarrior 39
Just document what he said and get sick on your boss. Hr will side with you (:
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Comments (13)
weeping_willow 25
I have Crohn's disease (which is an inflammatory bowel disease that affects the entire digestive track), so I really feel for you, OP. I've lost jobs and partners due to this.
TheLostWarlock 11
I can't get a job because of my crohns. Literally no one wants to hire an "unstable" person who needs more sick days than others and may suddenly run to the bathroom out of nowhere and be stuck there for 30 minutes. I'm not perfect enough to work in this society, but still get yelled at for not working and being a "free-loader".
DennisYu 14
I don't know why the OP's must change into a pair of pants? who could explain to me?
fiat850 20
"Sick out of both ends" means that he defecated in his pants while he was vomiting, and had to borrow another pair to finish the work day, which he wasn't able to.
sambmjmdjj 9
Who had an extra pair of pants at work?