Today, I was showing my 4 year old some of my fire magic tricks. I ended up getting 2nd degree burns on my left hand and burnt off half of her hair. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing trick I learned online, and ended up burning half her room. FML
Today, I was showing my grandson how to blow out the candles on his birthday cake. I got a little too close and set my hair on fire. The candles remained lit but my grandson was too terrified to go near them after the whole ordeal. FML
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
Today, I found out how it feels to have my groin catch fire due to a magic trick going wrong. FML
Today, I burned myself while cooking, so I asked my mom to get the burn cream while I waited in the kitchen. While I was waiting, I absentmindedly set my hand on the hot stove, earning myself a second burn. FML
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
Today, after many hours of practice, I tried to demonstrate my magic tricks to my friends. What wasn't part of the show was accidentally setting my pants on fire and having to put it out with a glass of red wine. FML
Today, I was at a fire roasting marshmallows. When mine caught on fire, I pulled it back so I could blow out the flames. It flew off the stick, and, still flaming, landed on my face. FML
Today, after spending 2 years growing out my hair, rubbing in oils to make it strong and healthy so I could shave it off and donate to a cancer charity to make wigs, I had a mishap at work with a car's cracked petrol tank. I now have 2nd degree facial burns and like 90% of the hair is burned away. FML
Today, my 6-year-old daughter touched a tray I'd just pulled out of the oven. I quickly swatted her hand away, but then noticed she wasn't hurt or burned at all. I then gingerly touched the tray and got scalded. My daughter giggled maniacally as I screamed. To be honest, I'm now terrified of her. FML
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Top comments
1Username1 17
Why were you trying to show a 4 year old a magic trick with fire anyways? Hope you'll both heal soon.
CrassKal 27
I really hope it stopped at the hair and she didn't get burnt as well. No offense towards you, but I'm more sympathetic towards the child.
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Comments (57)
CTMPandemonium 16
Today, my big brother was showing me some cool tricks he said he could do with fire. He ended up burning off half of my hair. FML
soullyfe 33
*father
CTMPandemonium 16
Woops. That's what I get for trying to think at 5am.
Richard6036 13
Next time stick with cards
dman798 18
Father of the year award in the safety category goes to...
megs925 16
She's probably scarred for life now..literally.
buckdharma 38
It's your job to teach the child not to play with fire.
ColCyclone 17
I suppose he did a fine job of that with the trick
Alexandria79 22
dumbass
cOOkiEzRgOOd 22
Never play with fire.
UserOfTheMind 24
And that's when the fire nation attacked.
couchcat 25
Why is this an FML? Doesn't everyone enjoy getting burnt? And the kid now has a wicked hairstyle. Literally straight fire. (SARCASM don't shit yourself over this)
BawlmerHon24 17
Way to set a good example!