Love: Today, I was lying in bed with the worst stomach cramps ever....

By ouch - 19/12/2009 15:15 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with the worst stomach cramps ever. My boyfriend came, looked at me writhing in pain, and said, "Well at least if it's a tapeworm you'll get skinnier." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 339

You deserved it 3 801

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Same thing different taste

By ohmygoodness - 02/03/2009 21:51 - United States

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 707

You deserved it 17 279

Antidate

By Inpain - 08/07/2023 10:00

Today, I was having the worst period cramps you could ever imagine. I cancelled the date I had with my "boyfriend." He replied, “Isn’t there some medicine you can take to make it go away?” When I told him I did and still had them, he said, “Fine, lose my number, I’ll find a girl who doesn’t have that shit.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 086

You deserved it 122

Creepypasta

By mrsekko - 31/05/2011 12:44 - United States

Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 852

You deserved it 5 290

By megomania - 02/05/2011 13:51 - United States

Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 026

You deserved it 4 435

By I stink - 18/12/2018 15:30

Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 349

You deserved it 225

By Anonymouse - 07/11/2015 02:03

Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 909

You deserved it 2 165

By Knottywoman - 03/09/2017 23:15

Today, I dreamt my fiancé was rolling frozen potatoes onto my bed to wake me up. In reality I woke up screaming to intense cramps in my legs which almost reduced me to tears. I could barely walk for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 223

You deserved it 237

By f.a.t. - 04/10/2013 08:20 - Australia

Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 601

You deserved it 7 772

By Sam - 09/01/2018 19:00

Today, I had debilitating stomach cramps and told my mom, but she said she was too tired to take me to the ER. I had appendicitis. Thanks Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 801

You deserved it 248

Bro moment

By Anonymous - 11/11/2021 11:00

Today, I had a stomach bug and had to run to the restroom because I messed my pants. My boyfriend's words of comfort? "Don't worry, bro. I've crapped my pants at least twice since we've been together." FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 146

snafu57 1

Saturday 19 December 2009 20:58

Tell him "I may be fat but you're ugly. I can lose weight. "

Moemoemoe_fml 0

Sunday 20 December 2009 3:13

Because it's the worst ones SHE's ever had, you complete moron.

Comments

drewskeeB 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 5:15

maybe you should lose some god damn weight!

richieflow 3

Thursday 29 December 2011 11:49

That's funny shit right there

Sk8trlover19 3

Saturday 19 May 2012 6:24

You should break up with him cuz he is an idiot and needs to get a life

Harle 24

Sunday 31 March 2013 21:20

Well then.

worldclassrager 39

Thursday 10 July 2014 8:05

Menstrual crams are horrible...but what a rude comment...

worldclassrager 39

Thursday 10 July 2014 8:07

I totally misread this...and I can't seem to find my comment to edit it...so apologies

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I agree, your life sucks 48 626

You deserved it 4 847

Today, I went on a date with this guy and he was on his phone the whole night. When I got home I checked his Facebook since he barely paid attention to me. His status was, "So-and-so is taking out the trash" from mobile posted an hour ago. I got home from my date 30 mins ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 296

You deserved it 3 791

Today, while my fiancé was showing me the finger guard on his brand new, very sharp knife, he managed to slice his finger open and throw the knife onto my leg, cutting me also. There's now a nice trail of blood on the carpet all the way to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 329

You deserved it 302

Today, my boyfriend tried to break up with me again, and actually offered me gas money so that I would leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 1 975

Same thing different taste

Antidate

Creepypasta

Bro moment

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