Today, I was listening to music on my phone and reading posts on here. I laughed hysterically at one, then noticed my parents shooting me outraged looks. Turned out I laughed while a news reporter was talking about a brutal rape that just happened in our city. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML
Today, I was visiting my new in-laws for the first time. During an awkward silence, I took my phone and figured I'd send my friend a text jokingly saying "Mayday, mayday! Somebody save me!" My mood lightened up a little and I felt quite well until my mother-in-law's phone beeped. Yep. FML
Today, while riding on the car with my family, I put on my headphones and pretended to be listening to music and when my parents talked to me, I pretended I couldn't hear them. They took this opportunity to discuss how fat I was and how I can't hold down a boyfriend. They were laughing as well. FML
Today, I overheard my in-laws talking about me. It started off with light insults and ended with, "People like her are the reason murder ain't always wrong". FML
Today, I have to deal with being laughed at by my mother and sister, because they keep making sharp movements towards me, causing me to flinch. This is because I got mugged and beaten last night. They think it's hysterical. FML
Today, I laughed at a joke in a group chat. No one else reacted. After five minutes, I realized I’d replied to a message from last week. I had to also pretend I hadn't noticed and sat in silence. FML
Today, I was at work, reading some funny stories on my phone. Just as one of my co-workers decided to share that his father had passed away recently, I burst into uncontrollable, teary-eyed laughter at a story. They don't believe my explanation, and have branded me the office asshole. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I heard a notification on my iPhone. I thought nothing of it until we were done, and then I checked it out. My mom had posted on my Facebook, telling me that if I didn't keep it down, she was going to come up to my room. FML
Today, I laughed at a joke and it literally took me a minute to realize that it was me they were making fun of. FML
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Top comments
tarlax 11
At least you didn't shout "You deserved it, bitch." at some dumbass OP like I sometimes do.
HrothgarXII 21
That's why I only read FML in the darkest corners of my room. No one can judge me there.
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Comments (36)
jadalaheart 23
Please tell me you weren't in public at least.
XxDanno316xX 27
12, it's safe to assume the op was at home with their parents. :)
CAPGator15 10
My timing is always that bad too.
Lars93 18
oh so you're also from the Bronx
yerawizardlizzy 27
Or Texas, like the location says.
SecundusSecunda 27
I want to know what post you were laughing at!
MidnaLink 35
Ace reporter MidnaLink here at FML news, talking with the OP "For the whored". So, whored, inquiring minds want to know; what story was so funny?
MissEris 27
From the name I was expecting something WoW related like your significant other whoring for gold and items. But nonetheless that is unfortunate. Hopefully they understand when you explain.
nEXtIntoTheWild 5
Usually wake up at unorthodox hours of the night to read FML. That's the best time to laugh hysterically, not caring who hears me.
Nataza 5
Awks much..
The_Ikon211 11
"**** her right in the pussy!"
zaidthunder1 27
Best to read those FML posts in the loo. No one will judge you there.