Today, I was given the ultimate ultimatum: either I suffer excruciating stomach pains and remain a hostage to the porcelain whirlpool goddess, or I stop taking pain medication and face the wrath of a raging infection in my jaw. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I woke up to the most excruciating pain in my jaw. No dentist that takes my insurance has any openings, and the one doctor I can see to get antibiotics isn’t in. FML
Today, I have a tooth infection that's spread to my jaw and ear. It hurts so badly that I'm practically in tears. Today's also the day I found out I'm allergic to the medication I was prescribed. Everything hurts, I'm covered in hives, and I can't stop throwing up. FML
Today, after 6 dentist visits, 2 root canals, and $1,500 that I'll likely have to sell vital organs to pay, the agonizing tooth pain I've had for months is unrelenting. Apparently, shrugging and offering to experimentally yank all my bottom teeth is my smurf-shit of a dentist's actual plan. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with a severe bladder infection that has left me in excruciating pain. A month ago, I had an ovarian cyst rupture. A few weeks before that, I badly sprained my elbow. Before that, I had the flu. I think my body is mutinying one organ system at a time. FML
Today, I'm on opioids due to severe pelvic pain. Taking them makes me constipated and increases my pain, which leads to taking more painkillers. I can choose to be in agony and the possibility of pooping, or be in slightly less pain and completely bunged up. FML
Today, I crawled into my mom's room to tell her my stomach was in massive pain. She ended up throwing me out of the room while spraying me with Lysol. My appendix was about to burst and I needed surgery. FML
Today, during a routine visit to the dentist, she advised me to get root canal treatment done, to avoid any future pain. As we are traveling abroad where we won't have insurance, my husband is forcing me to get RCT within four days. I'm in so so much pain, life is hell. FML
Today, I either have to shit my brains out on the hour every hour like clockwork, or stop taking my medicine and go back to suffering debilitating PTSD. Regardless, I’m spending half of my day locked in a small space and unable to live freely. FML
Today, I missed my dentist appointment. I couldn't attend, because I was too busy puking my guts up due to a bad reaction to the pain medication I'm taking for my toothache. FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed and took the pain medicine that the oral surgeon prescribed for me before bed. The pain actually did go away for the most part, until my stomach decided to betray me and make me throw up, forcing my jaw to open more than it could after surgery. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Or option 3- go see a reputable factor who will treat the infection rather than just hurl a prescription for Vicodin at you like some two-bit hack. Jesus, I think some "doctors" get their MD degrees out of a ******* Cracker Jack box.
Doortje 30
You have to choose between an infection and a goddess? Tsk, you've got to be kidding me, what are you whining about?!
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Comments (190)
beastxmanx45123 0
obviously not if he's stuck on the toilet.
j_dixie 3
for a sec I thought you were my brother writting this. he's got the same problem.
Amaya17 4
Poor you! :'/ haha but I do LOVE the way you wrote it xP
furburger 0
After excruciatingly punching at my plastic, letter-making, magic board, my imagination imagines that you are a douche of large proportion.
heather_bunny 3
I'm with #35...drink a LOT! jack daniels' cure for, well, anything...
skateRface 0
i'm listening.
lemonypower 6
What does THAT have to go with ANYTHING, except make you seem like an attention *****?
percawesome 0
LMAO 28
VinegarStrokes 0
That's horrible advice.
percawesome 0
I like how it's a total mystery WHY he's a hostage to the porcelain whirlpool goddess... is it diarrhea, constipation, or nausea? Speculate!