By soulebelius - 07/09/2014 22:50 - United States

Today, my mother told me that she and my father aren't coming to my wedding if my estranged brother who stopped talking to me two years ago isn't invited. She claims they don't want to choose sides. Brother: 1. Me: 0. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 968
You deserved it 3 257

soulebelius tells us more.

soulebelius 17

Just a quick update from the OP: this isn't the first threat my mother gave me about this. She actually influenced my sister to have the same stance. Me and my sister worked it out, but my mom crossed the line. She brings this up when it benefits her ulterior motive to reunite the family (ain't mad at her for that), but it shouldn't be brought up while we're announcing our engagement, or introducing both families for the first time, or a casual conversation months later about us getting on the same insurance. The saddest part is... Me and the missus were planning on having only our closest immediate family. It was going to be around 10 total people. I told her she doesn't have to worry anymore: no need for them to go. Not even bitter. I just want to keep the focus on the happy couple and not use our day as a family counseling session.

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Top comments

shelbycobra0991 8

That definitely sucks, OP. They say they don't want to choose sides, but by not being a part of the most important day of your life, it seems as if they have. Just don't let it stop you from enjoying your day. Get relatives or close friends to stand in for them, and when it's all said and done and they see your beautiful pictures, I'm sure they'll feel quite bad for letting a family dispute get in the way.

110 2
fffianist 9

If you're confident he won't come anyway, you can send out an invite and simply tell your parents it's his choice not to be there.

81 4

Comments

foxwasalamb 24

lets be real. I'm fairly certain they wont miss your wedding for something so dumb. I'm sure they'll show up.

23 94
incoherentrmblr 21

Got forbid you invite him and he declines...

19 4
thelittlesteevee 9

Think you missed 'get' #3 but to the point, a lot of us younger people find it hilarious. Whether or not it stays its up to the interwebs. :D

0 11
flutterby789 8

is this even English? ive never heard this?

1 0
crissalove 22

How immature of them :/ I hope everything works out for the best!

70 2
onlychildFTW 33

Yeah I know. They should care more about her wedding day being perfect for her. If that means no brother then they need to deal with it. Screw your parents OP. If they don't want to come, that's their loss.

5 0
shelbycobra0991 8

That definitely sucks, OP. They say they don't want to choose sides, but by not being a part of the most important day of your life, it seems as if they have. Just don't let it stop you from enjoying your day. Get relatives or close friends to stand in for them, and when it's all said and done and they see your beautiful pictures, I'm sure they'll feel quite bad for letting a family dispute get in the way.

110 2
fffianist 9

If you're confident he won't come anyway, you can send out an invite and simply tell your parents it's his choice not to be there.

81 4
chinaski7628 32

While I think that's a probably a good solution, OP really shouldn't be emotionally blackmailed into inviting people to the wedding he or she doesn't want to invite.

53 1
Zebediabolical 39

Some kinds of brothers, the really shitty ones, would take the invite and go just to cause drama. If you haven't talked to him for two years, OP, then stand your ground and don't invite him. And speak plainly to your parents that you would like them to be there but you're not willing to beg or be blackmailed.

40 0
spoo 24

Its more awkward to be the person who probably shoudnt have been invited than inviting them...

1 5
Aquila_Umbrae 26

Invite none of them. You can choose sides for them.

73 1
Garrett2818 21

So send him an invite. Either he won't show and you're parents will go because you made an effort. Or he'll go and the two of you can try to make amends. Unless there's a serious reason as to why you don't associate with him, then FYL and good luck.

38 10
kbecks87 16

Why should anyone be forced to invite someone they don't want at what is meant to be their special day.

33 1
Durantye 8

No this isn't a simple family gathering this is the most important day of their life. If the parents are going to try to use it to their own devices they don't deserve to be a part of your life.

14 2
Garrett2818 21

No ones forcing her, I just think that if they don't get along over something stupid that happened then maybe they can try and make amends. If it's a serious reason then op should tell her parents to kick rocks.

4 6
Algorithm 24

We don't know why they're not talking, though. There's no guarantee that it's just "something stupid". Some people can be horrific and toxic, and sometimes all you can do to stay safe and happy is distance yourself for them. I'm sorry your parents don't respect your personal boundaries, OP. I hope you have a beautiful wedding.

2 0
chosha_fml 26

They ARE choosing a side. His. And if he stopped talking to you two years ago, why would he want to be there anyway? I hope they see reason, but to be honest, faced with an ultimatum like that, I'd be inclined to have the wedding without any of them. Of course you would want your parents there, but it's your wedding and you shouldn't have to have anyone there who would spoil the day for you.

52 0