Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I heard a gunshot not too far from the house. This is not unusual, as I live way out in the boonies and hunters tend to roam the woods. What isn't normal is a stray bullet hitting my above-ground pool, which promptly split open and released a torrent of water that flooded my basement. FML
Today, while mowing my backyard, I messily discovered that a family of rabbits has been living out there in the tall grass. FML
Today, a few freshmen jumped my fence. They decided to take a dip in the pool, so I pulled out a paintball gun. I unloaded over 100 rounds, painting their backs bright yellow. It also dyed my pool yellow, and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair. FML
Today, I wanted revenge on my neighbor, whose dog craps in my yard, so I spent a day at the dog park gathering up dog shit. I piled it up by the property line and ran over it with the mower, intending to spray his driveway and car with turds. Instead, it gummed up the mower. Now it stinks too bad to fix. FML
Today, my dog proudly brought home a rabbit he'd killed. The same rabbit that belongs to my neighbor's daughter. FML
Today, I was on my back patio talking with my husband. It got dark outside, and I saw something shuffling in the back yard. I freaked out so bad that I went to run inside, only to fly face-first into the screen door. Turns out the shuffling was a baby rabbit. FML
Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML
Today, I shot my boyfriend in the balls by mistake, twice. First it was a paintball gun I was using with my nephew, then it was a slingshot I use to scare away the bird who keeps eating fish from my pond. He is now sat icing his groin acting like I did it on purpose. FML
Today, I drove home on my birthday, and my mom said she'd meet me there. I was a little surprised to get home and find she wasn't there, but even more shocked to see my rabbit run over in my driveway. Turns out he'd gotten loose and my mom had run him over, panicked, and left. FML
Today, after I warned my son repeatedly that if he wanted a rabbit he had to clean and feed it, I checked on it. It wasn’t just dead, it was dead and rotting in a pool of its own pee and faeces. I yelled at him, but he just shrugged and told me rabbits are boring and he forgot it was even there. FML
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Top comments
narks 0
Not only did you try to kill it instead of just relocating it, but you tried to justify your shit aim with 'the bullet missed' instead of 'I missed'. This one calls for a YDI unfortunately.
tkmac 0
Sounds like a Tom & Jerry episode.
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Comments (868)
doctor_acula 1
1. ydi- but only because you need a refresher gun-safety course. the bullet of a small caliber firearm like that travels much farther than you'd expect. a .22 caliber rifle has a ballistic range of 1.5 miles! what if you had hit one of your neighbors? 2. humane traps and pest deterrents can be quite pricey. i'm assuming (i know you should never assume anything...) that the OP doesn't have a ton of money (based on him having an above ground pool). in this case, killing the pesky rabbit would have been a cheaper, easier, and a more permanent solution to the problem. 3. despite having a couple of cute rabbits at home as pets, i have no problem with getting rid of the wild rabbits in my yard that keep finding ways around (actually under) the fence around my garden. some areas are seriously overpopulated with rabbits and their numbers need to be controlled. (except i use traps and my air rifle, not a .22) 4. as a doctor, i learned in medical school that rabbits are a natural reservoir for a highly virulent bacteria called francisella tularensis. they cause the disease tularemia, which can be quite dangerous. while the incidence of this disease is actually pretty rare, it is very dangerous and potentially fatal. why increase the chance of contracting tularemia by letting these pests live and breed in my yard? 5. maybe my view is skewed because of my career, but i value the life of a fellow human being over that of a rabbit. to those of you who wished bodily harm to the OP and said he needs therapy... no, it is you sir/madam who needs help. (insert joke about veterinarians being doctors who couldn't make it through med school here) 6. i agree that reckless gun use and randomly killing things is wrong. but if you're not willing to use guns to protect yourself or your property, how are you going to survive the inevitable zombie apocalypse? ;-) "A gun is not a weapon, Marge, it's a tool. Like a butcher knife or a harpoon, or, uh... or an alligator. You just need more education on the subject. Tell you what - you come with me to an NRA meeting, and if you still don't think guns are great, we'll argue some more." -Homer Simpson
FreedomFirst 0
You. Unspeakable. Idiot. The FIRST!!!!! rule of gun safety is watching your background! You stupid jackass, YDI in the biggest way for being an unsafe, reckless gun owner who gives the rest of us a bad name. People like you are the reason liberals are able to get away with trampling our rights. Are you related to Dick Cheney?
tangello 0
that's what you get and deserve you stupid bastard! it was a rabbit! you're gonna let a rabbit piss you off? that's pathetic. and SHOOTING the poor thing is just ******* mean! >:O
Lalaladida 0
You're a douche. People move in and take over the bunny's land. Then the hungry bunny finds some food and you aren't willing to share with a poor hungry bunny so you try to shoot it? I wish the bullet had ricocheted and hit you.
LankyBastard 0
It's all been said. A-******'-men, #71, #52, #88, #96, #105, #113, #117, #123, #150, #164, #249, #274, #337, #351, #406, #554. It's kind of funny to see readers attracted to a site based on schadenfreude who can't stomach the thought of a dying bunny. I'm not an American, and I'm just as prone to the stereotypes as the next guy, but presuming the OP is a Yank just because he owns a gun is totally unfair. I enjoy the hypocrisy where some guys say "would you shoot a baby in the face?" and follow up quickly with "die in a fire, scumbag". P.S: #humourfail to everyone who made an Elmer Fudd reference and felt clever.
blackberry_fml 0
That's what you get bitch! Killing animals is wrong. If I was your neighbor I'd kill your grass and stomp all the plants in your garden. I hope all the shit in your basement got ruined. You murdering piece of shit.
sshnookum 0
asshole. if i ever saw you do that i would eat your ******* flowers myself
12mp04 0
Bunny planned it IMO
Scott_George 0
a .22? cmon man get a shotgun on that bitch! lol jk but ive found .22s to be good wen it comes to shooting cute woodland creatures lol. wont kill anything bigger than like a beaver. but how close were u wen u missed? cuz i may be inexperienced wen it comes to hunting, but i could probably hit a rabbita at least 10 ft away. and i dont even own a gun. do u hunt?
MissMeow 0
you deserve that you ass