Today, I walked into work after being completly wasted last night. I was sitting in a meeting when all of a sudden the presenter had gotten an e-mail saying "crazy girl dances on tables at local bar". So obviously everyone wanted to watch it. That crazy girl was me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my friend and I went to a club. She said I look hilarious when I dance drunk. I was completely sober. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Today, I showed up to a party. People kept offering me water, asking if I was OK. I didn’t even realize what was happening until I overheard someone say, “Look at that girl; she’s totally wasted!” The truth? I had stayed up late the night before doing laundry, and I was just really tired. FML
Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML
Today, after sitting for hours at my desk, my legs fell asleep. When I got up to go to the bathroom on my break, I couldn't walk properly and leaned against things so I wouldn't fall over. My supervisor then came over and started lecturing me about being drunk at work. FML
Today, while we were at a work party, I noticed a drunk lady in the mix. I pointed out to my boss how dumb she looked. It was his daughter. FML
Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML
Today, I went out and got very drunk. I talked to a girl and some other people. As the girl left, someone told me to follow her as she didn't seem to know where she was going. As a drunk, socially inept idiot, I did so for about 20 seconds, only for someone to point me out to her and quickly guide her away. Then I lost like £700. FML
Today, I got drunk enough to do cartwheels at a company party. In a dress. I work in HR, can’t land a cartwheel, or handle my alcohol. FML
Today, I woke up after I had gotten shitfaced, and tossed out of bars by bouncers several times. I even had pictures of my face circulated to other bars not to be served. I then met a woman I almost smoked crack with, and spent the rest of the night following her while she asked random homeless people for free crack. FML
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Top comments
vampireknight 0
so do you still have this job?
holynemesis1208 3
did they ask for a reinactment?
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Comments (37)
SunshineX7 17
...were you dancing well? Good luck with that :)
MackenzAnn 7
It's best to just laugh off awkward situations like that!
Fyl2014 9
Reminds me of something in the book ttyl
rockwrench 18
This sounds like a popcorn fart during a lap dance.
amberdea404 28
Wow, try to avoid brig filed next time.
KingKralj 31
YDI for getting drunk in the first place.