Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML
Today, at my girlfriend's place, I cleaned up her room, put candles everywhere, scented the air, and placed rose petals all over her bed in an attempt to be romantic and loving. The first thing she said when she saw all this was, "Uhhhhgg, I'll have to clean all this up." FML
Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML
Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML
Today, instead of going to a romantic dinner with my boyfriend like I'd planned, I ended up babysitting his queasy little sister. FML
Today, I sent the kids to my parents' house, tidied the house, and made reservations for a fancy restaurant, hoping to surprise my wife. When she got home and I handed her flowers, she sighed and said, "Can you stop with the stupid romance shit? It's embarrassing. We're six years married, not two moonstruck kids." FML
Today, I wrote my boyfriend a poem, and left it on the bed with a rose for him to see after work. When I came home later, I noticed the flower in the trash, and the poem had been used as gum wrapper. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML
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Top comments
LOLYLIF 0
Aww.... Thats so cute, if not oddly disgusting.
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
Better safe than sorry, I always say.
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Comments (60)
haweb 0
Maybe it's just me, but I think it's kind of disgusting that they were planning on having sex with a five year old in the house. It's one thing when it's just your parents, which most people bitch about anyways, but I don't like that they were going to get it on with his little sister around. *shrugs* I'm sure everyone else will think not a big deal, but I think I'd be pretty turned off knowing his 5 year old sister is around.
exena_fml 0
I guess parents don't have a sexlife then. Poor parents.
mohlee 0
Why is that disgusting? It's not like she was watching them. Are parents not allowed to have sex, then (as #31 pointed out)? Guess not. Get ready for a sexless existence once you have kids, if that's what you think. :o) It might suck, though.
joker1911 0
I'm with you on that one. Where has people's sense of propriety gone?
afazel 0
Oh, c'mon, that's just funny.
BritishHobo 0
Still, better this than, 'Today, me and boyfriend were having sex amongst scattered rose petals and candles. It was so romantic and amazing... then his five year old sister walked in. FML.'
hk_fml 9
Gross. My friend found her step dads condoms in the trash (used) when she was a kid and blew them up =/ you should be thankful she found them before things went down.
Jessie5099 0
Why are you trying to have a romantic evening..including sex..while your boyfriend's family is home..?
Jessie5099 0
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Gam0r 0
This kid is going places!
Simone88 0
Lol this is 2 funny. But I must say if ur going to have a romantic nite. Then it needs to b done when no one is home. Nothing is romantic about having sex in just ur room.
Suekoff16 3
**** blocked by a 5 year old
Witchcraft_fml 5
Sexual maturity begins at such a young age these days! Five-years-old and already blowing condoms!