Kids: Today, I took my class to swimming lessons at the local public...

By Teach - 31/03/2015 07:40 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, I took my class to swimming lessons at the local public pool. One student came out and proudly told me that she'd pooed in the shower, but it was OK because she'd then picked it up and flushed it down the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 424

You deserved it 2 538

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By rkl2010 - 23/05/2010 18:02 - United States

Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 462

You deserved it 3 456

By heyyoitsapotato - 31/05/2013 02:35 - United States

Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 125

You deserved it 3 297

Let it all out

By HateCelebz - 26/08/2023 00:02

Today, I went for a swim in the sea. It was early and I was the only one in the water. i swam out far, then my tummy rumbled big time. Next thing I knew, I'd shat my shorts. It went everywhere. I had to scoop the poop out with my hand and wash it off whilst swimming back to shore. I had to shower afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 203

By Countdown has begun - 16/05/2019 12:58

Today, my girlfriend took a crap in my swimming pool. Her excuse? She had to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 996

You deserved it 221

By poolboy - 14/04/2009 08:51 - United States

Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "but I just peed in that water." FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 214

You deserved it 9 280

By Crapper. - 16/09/2016 20:35 - United States - Fayetteville

Today, I'm a janitor at a middle school. Someone took a poo and placed it on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 170

You deserved it 730

Work sucks

By Anonymous - 08/07/2011 19:43 - United States

Today, I'd just finished cleaning the bathrooms at work when I saw a young boy go in. Of course, I thought nothing of it until I had to use the bathroom myself ten minutes later. The kid had taken a shit and missed the toilet completely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 399

You deserved it 2 645

By Woody - 06/10/2018 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 684

You deserved it 396

A little less conversation…

By IPityTheStool - 09/06/2011 13:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by, "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. Then we continued to chat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 491

You deserved it 7 615

Cute

By benjo - 06/08/2013 18:07 - United States

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year-olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 051

You deserved it 4 842

wishfulthinks 19

Tuesday 31 March 2015 17:32

Silver linings OP - At least you didn't have to pick it up!

archnarquibquib 21

Tuesday 31 March 2015 17:36

That's absolutely disgusting. I dry heaved reading that.

Comments

Khaleesi_D 9

Wednesday 1 April 2015 10:57

Am I imagining it or is the spelling in the past five posts just really bad?

ebay78 12

Wednesday 1 April 2015 19:16

the FML people are doing it on purpose. these posts were fine yesterday. it's for April fools

moms11 5

Wednesday 1 April 2015 11:44

It takes more effort to incorrectly spell came. Why would you purposefully spell cummed? For the attention?

cwenboo 18

Wednesday 1 April 2015 11:54

The FML staff are doing it for April Fools.

jat_fml 3

Wednesday 1 April 2015 14:48

coprophilia in the making!!!!

TheLoner7 5

Wednesday 1 April 2015 16:08

I'm guessing grammar doesn't exist anymore

ProgMetalMan 8

Wednesday 1 April 2015 21:27

FML staff are doing it for April Fool's. Why don't you look around at other comments before being a dick?

tuxedoandex 28

Wednesday 1 April 2015 18:42

what a shitty situ- you know never mind

BigSm3lly 9

Wednesday 1 April 2015 22:35

You're a teacher that can't spell.. America is going places :D

BananaaBread 13

Wednesday 1 April 2015 22:48

Wow... OP lives in New Zealand, and the staff changed the spelling for April Fools' Day.

elizabeth4166 16

Thursday 2 April 2015 4:25

How old is she?

miss_amphetamine 24

Thursday 2 April 2015 19:54

This really doesn't sound that bad since it's implied she is a young kid. If she was an adult, well, then, I'd be more concerned.

sally_jangl 13

Saturday 23 May 2015 17:19

ewwwww

Keywords

Video games Gamers Annoying Abuse Birthday Relatable Social Media Money Scams Parents Kids School Education Health Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Music Geek Poopoo peepee Jewelry Awkward Bikes Transportation Cops Fight Family Customers Work Gross

The Top

Today, I caught my young son watching porn so, not wanting to give him a warped view of sex and love, I was giving him the proper sex talk when my religious mother walked in, realised what we were talking about, and started screaming about sin and hell and diseases, and he ran off crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 96

Today, I tried dyeing my hair at home to save some money. I carefully followed the instructions but when I rinsed it off, my hair turned a shocking shade of shiity neon green. Not wanting to leave the house looking like a radioactive toad, I wore a hat and hoped nobody would notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 340

The Top

Today, I met the guy who will be my dorm roommate for the fall semester. One of the first things he said was, "By the way, I'm into self-massage, so don't get weirded out if you hear noises coming from my room a lot." Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 983

You deserved it 192

Today, I think I've finally gotten past the food poisoning that caused me to puke so violently that I pulled muscles in my abdomen and chest. Unfortunately, some of that vomit hung around long enough to give me a sinus infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 569

You deserved it 1 368

Today, I watched as my poor old cat dragged his ass across our living room carpet, leaving an equally long shit stain on our pristine carpet. My pleas for him to stop only made his diarrhea worse as he ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 508

You deserved it 302

Today, the mentally-challenged teen who sometimes comes into my restaurant gave me a hug as usual. I thought it was sweet, until a coworker let me know he immediately goes and jacks off in the bathroom after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 994

You deserved it 1 633

Today, I went skiing. On the first run of the day, a little girl came out of nowhere and crashed into me. I was fine, but she was hurt, so I called the ski patrol. She told him that I deliberately hit her, and got me kicked out. I was there for 10 minutes. I paid for all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 961

You deserved it 3 494

Today, a photo of my friends and me was posted in our college group. I didn't notice my legs looked enormous until my friend pointed it out. Her comment got 50 likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 925

You deserved it 3 275