Today, I spent 30 minutes trying to unlock my garage door. After shouting several profanities, my roommate walked up to me, turned the key the other way, and unlocked it. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I broke my key unlocking my dorm room. When I pushed the door open in frustration, the door opened with no problem. Turns out it was unlocked. FML
Today, I tried to unlock my house's front door by hitting the unlock button on my car keys. It took me some time to realize my mistake. FML
Today, after getting home from the supermarket, I went to unlock the door so my dad could carry the groceries in. No matter how hard or how many different ways I tried, the lock wouldn't shift. My dad eventually grabbed the keys, twisted once, and after the door unlocked, called me an idiot. FML
Today, I locked myself out of my apartment. I've just realized that I could have spent $30 on an Uber or Lyft to my parents' place to grab the other set of keys instead of calling a locksmith and paying $280 for him to drill a hole through my doorknob, rendering all my keys useless. FML
Today, after a long bike-ride home, I thought my roommate was being a douche and holding the door shut to our apartment. After about ten minutes of shoulder-slamming and name calling, I discovered that I just wasn't turning the key all the way, which I found out when my roomie came home. FML
Today, I spent forty minutes trying to break into my own house after being locked out. After finally getting in through a small unlocked window, I discovered my keys in my pants pocket. FML
Today, after numerous attempts, my car door still wouldn't unlock. After going ballistic on the lock, the key broke off inside. I then realized it wasn't my car. FML
Today, I locked myself out of the house I was house-sitting. An hour later, and my fifth attempt at climbing the fence, I figured I'd try the door one more time. Turns out I was turning the handle the wrong way and the door wasn't locked in the first place. FML
Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML
Today, after locking myself out of my house, I let myself into my car to wait on someone with a spare key. It took me 15 minutes to realise the house and car key share the same ring. FML
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Top comments
furburger 0
Well, it's good that you have a roommate named "Mutha ******' Son of a Bitchin' **** *****" or you might have been there all damn night.
mrahhhhh 21
Right tighty, lefty loosey also works for most locks OP! Or if you had the key upside down, never mind.
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Comments (54)
InsaneGenius 0
Don't feel bad OP! Everyone does something silly like that at some point. I have searched through my purse looking for my keys~ when they were in my hand, searched for my phone when it was sitting right in front of me, etc....
xiiijinx 5
The irony is your name has Genius in its name
Marine07_fml 0
Epic fail
Madmolly 0
Moron
shuck19 0
Were you on your way home from the special Olympics?
ppriscilla 0
haha. true story
SoFreshAndYetDep 0
So thirty minutes huh? You'd think that one might try a new aproach by then. You sound like my cousin. Ted?
CaptainJ1000 1
The question is: How much longer would it have taken you had he not intervened?
websmith 0
30 minutes? I mean, think about it: half an hour. Even 5 minutes is a stretch. I'm thinking, slight hyperbole? Yeah.
MissEvilTwin 0
How did u not try that?
wtfcammelcheese 0
only 1 word for this... HERP