Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I spilled my guts out to my fiancé about some insecurities I've been having. I then turned to look at him through tears at his expressionless face as he texted someone. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a speech on me "not being manly enough". I started crying. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. I started to tear up and told her I had something stuck in my eye. I was secretly thrilled as I had been trying to end it for weeks. Seeing me cry, she immediately took it back. I really just had something stuck in my eye. FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my boyfriend that I wanted to go separate ways. Before I could say anything, he proposed. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me in tears because the love of his life has decided to move on with another man. He is currently on his way over to cry on my shoulder about it. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend to try and man up and act a bit tougher. He started crying. FML
Today, I had a mental breakdown. Many things have been going completely wrong in my life, and I finally decided to let my boyfriend know about it. After about an hour of explaining and pouring my heart out, his response was, "I think we were better off as friends." FML
Today, after weeks of doubt and pondering the pros and cons, I finally broke up with my girlfriend, and she burst into tears. Feeling guilty, I tried to console her by saying, "Don't worry, we can still be cousins." FML
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Top comments
mackdeezy 22
Christmas is over OP, why are you still dealing with nutcrackers?
cr3ativity 15
Shit. Another reason why I keep wearing underpants as opposed to boxers.
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Comments (83)
daniel_dd31 13
At least it looked like you we're showing genuine emotion
zombieslayer83 19
Oh it was genuine!
zombieslayer83 19
I hate that shit. Sometimes I wonder how us guys can even walk with them.
Kilv 13
Practice makes perfect.
Bliepje 22
Balls are small. Try walking with boobs
justernie22 7
hey, at least you look sensitive.
DestinysChampion 17
And you missed the whole discussion because one of your family was in peril.
simoncat 11
Seriously. It is such a wonder that men have survived this long.
ShyAnn29 15
I've seen this kind of FML a few times now, is it really that hard to not sit on your testicles?
zombieslayer83 19
Sometimes you just sit down without thinking and then crush!
simoncat 11
And men think we women have it hard. Pulllease.
PandaKitteh 20
Well we have to push humans out of a 10cm hole in our sensitive part. :P I think it's about even
RedPillSucks 33
Not really. There's the 9 month thing, morning sickness, swollen ankles, ass, face, etc. if you don't get pregos, there's the whole period thing with PMS
Synistiel 14
Not every girl is bitchy during their period, 55.
Nailpolishaholic 20
I love how all the males and females are being so understanding of each other.
klovemachine 24
This FML gives a whole new meaning to blue balls :-O
eddeeezzyy 19
"Argh, I sat on my nuts!" Cleveland voice
jaychourox121 15
Humble brag.
skylark907 5
THIS IS THE FUNNIEST SHIT EVER YO HOLY SHIT I AM DEAD HAHAHAHAHA
shmoelover 13
I have yet to understand how yo, which I believe is a term of greeting, belongs in the middle of a statement.
poccocurantes 7
I think he was shot by a rival gang member mid chuckle.
shmoelover 13
At least he died laughing.