Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I spilled my guts out to my fiancé about some insecurities I've been having. I then turned to look at him through tears at his expressionless face as he texted someone. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a speech on me "not being manly enough". I started crying. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. I started to tear up and told her I had something stuck in my eye. I was secretly thrilled as I had been trying to end it for weeks. Seeing me cry, she immediately took it back. I really just had something stuck in my eye. FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my boyfriend that I wanted to go separate ways. Before I could say anything, he proposed. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me in tears because the love of his life has decided to move on with another man. He is currently on his way over to cry on my shoulder about it. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend to try and man up and act a bit tougher. He started crying. FML
Today, I had a mental breakdown. Many things have been going completely wrong in my life, and I finally decided to let my boyfriend know about it. After about an hour of explaining and pouring my heart out, his response was, "I think we were better off as friends." FML
Today, after weeks of doubt and pondering the pros and cons, I finally broke up with my girlfriend, and she burst into tears. Feeling guilty, I tried to console her by saying, "Don't worry, we can still be cousins." FML
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Top comments
mackdeezy 22
Christmas is over OP, why are you still dealing with nutcrackers?
cr3ativity 15
Shit. Another reason why I keep wearing underpants as opposed to boxers.
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Comments (83)
_W00H00_ 6
I don't get why OP didn't stand up.
rosenkrieger223 24
I'm sure he did, but once the pain starts, it doesn't exactly go away the moment pressure is removed...
Panda_Shy_Haven 17
I'm a female and I cringed at the thought of that as I read this post
Fmlsea 28
ouch!!
ChickenPollos 6
Who does that? Did you just grow balls yesterday?
ICastillo 25
Well it's a win OP she thinks you're all emotional too. She is going to think your a sensitive guy.
Kidkaplan 19
Soprano
yourmofo 6
If you ask someone how they sat on their balls, you must be either a girl or a guy with baby nuts.
TurkeySlab 9
The down sides to having a big package...........
mistercrow 9
That's nuts.
gfrt94yn 2
Lmao that is priceless!