Today, I received a call from my wife. It would've been great if she hadn't left on a business trip three years ago. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my wife came back from a three-day moms' retreat, and was mad I didn't immediately want to spend time with her. She called me 68 times (yes, I counted) while she was gone, so it was really like she never left. FML
Today, I went on the road for work for the first time in a very long time. I was enjoying lunch with coworkers when my phone got bombarded with calls and texts. Turns out my wife and my mother had gotten into a fight within two hours of me being away. FML
Today, my wife, who I haven’t seen for over a month because we both travel a lot for work, got home. The last thing she said to me was that she couldn't wait to get home because she just wants some alone time. FML
Today, my wife of 18 years and I went to a party. We arrived and left separately, and didn't even talk to one another while there. I miss her. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, I was out of town on a work trip. I'd fought with my wife before leaving, and I felt bad, so I called her and poured my heart out, telling her how much I loved her. She sighed and said, "Okay, anyway…" and complained about bills and chores for ten minutes, then wouldn't say she loved me. FML
Today, I called one of my old coworkers to see how she was doing. My boyfriend answered the phone. FML
Today, I came home from a two-week overseas business trip. My wife was at work, but she came home for lunch. When she came in, she brushed right past me to hug and talk to her dog. When I mentioned it, she said, "But I haven't seen him all day!" FML
Today, my current wife left me for my ex-wife. FML
Today, my wife and I both spent a weekend away separately with our close friends. However, we ran into each other, unplanned, at the airport. She was with her girls and I was with my girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
Paras_800 28
We need a follow up on this op.
Cads1 24
So what exactly does your wife do other than another man/woman?
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Comments (89)
gogo44444 28
D-I-V-O-R-C-E, what's that spell? DIVORCE!
g2the2nd 14
Definitely need a follow up asap. This is such a curious situation.
XtremeHeat 14
She is one dedicated worker...
Phoenix_fml 13
Soooo.....how's she doing?
Neolights0 4
We need follow up
GAeroNKissR 26
Good news is at least you're off the hook for her disappearance now :-D
GAeroNKissR 26
I think it's funny everyone is acting like a spy would be an acceptable reason, lol would you seriously be ok with that excuse & get back together knowing you have no proof - just their word?? If they had no government proof, all they'd get back would be the echo of my laughter...& officially served.
Acid85 7
if her paycheck continued to come in, in regular intervals, it would be acceptable. money tells all sorts of tales.
gqlmno 23
50 bucks says she left you for another man then realized she couldn't whip him like she whipped you so she's trying to get back with you... am I right???
Colon_Man 17
That's crazy. Money can't talk.
texasmade817 5
wow, what did she have to say op?
texasmade817 5
Did u not think to call someone in her family that u know she'd call and let them know she's alive at least or even the cops. I know if my wife disappeared I'd be freaking out thinking she got abducted and murdered or something crazy