Today, I realized that no matter what I accomplish in life, I'll always be remembered for being the son of a woman so stupid that she claimed she used to be Elvis Presley's mistress. She was still an infant when he died. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad was having an affair on my mom with. FML
Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom still refers to his ex as 'the daughter she never had.' FML
Today, my grandmother told me that since my dad was a mistake, I too am a mistake. FML
Today, 98 year-old mom with dementia thought she was talking to one of my dead sisters and not my wife, telling her she'd better never tell me who my real father really, that I ruined her marriage. She won't have me ruining her reputation, so her getting pregnant with me from an affair was my fault apparently. None of my siblings ever told me. FML
Today, I accidentally called my boss "Mom." Now she is jokingly telling everyone that I'm the long-lost daughter she gave up for adoption, because she knew I'd be a failure. FML
Today, at the reading of my mother's last will and testament, I found out that despite having cared for her for the final years of her life, she denied me an inheritance. She basically said I'm an embarrassment, because when she wrote it, I was 31 years-old, with no wife or children. FML
Today, my parents finally got married. At the after-party, my mother got drunk and informed me that even though she and my father were now married, it doesn't change the fact that I'm still a bastard. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML
Today, I realized that even though I was an honor student throughout school, and considered the golden child who was going to go far in life, all I've accomplished a year after graduation is becoming an unemployed single mother still living with my parents. FML
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Top comments
KasiaLilith 13
You have an extra push to graduate, get a job and move out on your own ASAP, nobody has to know who your mom is and what she has done. On other hand, as long as she was a good mom to you, you should jot be embarrassed of her.
Amama_fml 30
No shit, Sherlock.
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Comments (104)
buttcramp 21
I know a lady who claims that her moms family grew up with Elvis Presley's daughters as neighbors. I know nothing of Elvis Presley lol but just saying
fantasyworld 39
He only had one daughter (Lisa Marie) I believe.
Ambient25 25
I don't get why the thumbs down to what #5 said. Who cares if we don't know OP, none of these FMLs have an OP that we know. What #5 said is a positive outlook to OP, who said they're remembered only for what their mom has done. **** you people are rash.
onlychildFTW 34
They may not to great things. We don't know yet. #54 thumbs are a fickle matter here a ye ol' FML
Ambient25 25
Fickle or not, it's still representative of a census, like a poll.
the_real_dvd 21
Who knows. Maybe Elvis was a freak like that.
dmklake 14
OP. That is not very nice
ohSNAPyall 27
Maybe she lied about her age. ;)
archertheo 15
You mean, when he allegedly died... Your mom may know the secret puzzle
EmmaMK 35
Your mum said it for a reason. Is she sad, lonely, hiding a terrible incident that happened to her and wants to talk but does not know how. Has someone died she was close to. Mental illness is serious and needs addressing. Her story sounds embarrassing for you but your mum might need your support.
Reverend_Rabbitt 0
You must be awfully young, considering Elvis only died 36 years ago...
DrKoz 10
And your point is? Even if the mother was born the year Elvis died (he says she was an infant back then), and she gave birth to the OP at age 20, OP would still be 16.
Reverend_Rabbitt 0
Which is awfully young.