Today, I realized that no matter what I accomplish in life, I'll always be remembered for being the son of a woman so stupid that she claimed she used to be Elvis Presley's mistress. She was still an infant when he died. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad was having an affair on my mom with. FML
Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom still refers to his ex as 'the daughter she never had.' FML
Today, my grandmother told me that since my dad was a mistake, I too am a mistake. FML
Today, 98 year-old mom with dementia thought she was talking to one of my dead sisters and not my wife, telling her she'd better never tell me who my real father really, that I ruined her marriage. She won't have me ruining her reputation, so her getting pregnant with me from an affair was my fault apparently. None of my siblings ever told me. FML
Today, I accidentally called my boss "Mom." Now she is jokingly telling everyone that I'm the long-lost daughter she gave up for adoption, because she knew I'd be a failure. FML
Today, at the reading of my mother's last will and testament, I found out that despite having cared for her for the final years of her life, she denied me an inheritance. She basically said I'm an embarrassment, because when she wrote it, I was 31 years-old, with no wife or children. FML
Today, my parents finally got married. At the after-party, my mother got drunk and informed me that even though she and my father were now married, it doesn't change the fact that I'm still a bastard. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML
Today, I realized that even though I was an honor student throughout school, and considered the golden child who was going to go far in life, all I've accomplished a year after graduation is becoming an unemployed single mother still living with my parents. FML
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Top comments
KasiaLilith 13
You have an extra push to graduate, get a job and move out on your own ASAP, nobody has to know who your mom is and what she has done. On other hand, as long as she was a good mom to you, you should jot be embarrassed of her.
Amama_fml 30
No shit, Sherlock.
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Comments (104)
B1ackthesun 31
Elvis... some guy at a dress up party, same thing really ;)
000lizzy000 13
Dont ever call any mother stupid
MzZombicidal 36
Sorry, #72, but there ARE a lot of stupid mothers out there.
Reverend_Rabbitt 0
No, some mothers really are stupid. It doesn't take intelligence to breed. in facet, it only takes enough brain activity to keep your body running to breed.
jerry2011 4
She was probably a mistress to Elvis in her prior life. Since she was just an infant it makes sense. After passing away from prior life, she again came to this earth. Feel proud to have a connection with Elvis.
8born8 18
That's certainly a different perspective you have there. Well done, bravo.
jerry2011 4
Thx
DanielleinDC 34
I was going to say the same thing--in a prior life, maybe.
8born8 18
Wow OP, it sounds like you've given up the fight. Don't be disheartened because your mum acts like a loon and has constant verbal diarrhea. Take it as a challenge to prove yourself to be different from your mother and go on to bigger and better things.
glitterkuro 18
It might not be stupidity. Depending on the age of your Mum, some people manage to convince themselves that events they've made up as stories (either to comfort themselves or to show off to people) are actually true. My Gran does it A LOT, and clearly thinks she's telling the truth as she's telling stories about, for example, something my Mum did when she was in her teens, and does it in front of my Mum who obviously knows that it never happened as the story is about her. She's done it with me as well.
Saava 29
#79 True, people with memory disorders (which is kinda normal in old age, but happens not only to elderly people) do this a lot, it's called confabulating. I'm a psychology student, I've learnt about this last year.
glitterkuro 18
Yeah, I meant to say "depending on the age of your Mum this might be more likely". I know of some younger people who do this as well but it seems to be more common as people age.
2_Fn_funny 6
Elvis has left the building. ..
ohSNAPyall 27
Everyone's skills are different, but we each have the potential to make the world a brighter place. Plant trees. Adopt children. Visit the elderly. Create. Nurture. Believe.
kasmol 16
oh...your mom just had a hunka hunka burning love!
edanielleh 21
time to move and make you own life :) you don't have to live under the shadow of crappy parents, make your own reputation