Today, I realized that no matter what I accomplish in life, I'll always be remembered for being the son of a woman so stupid that she claimed she used to be Elvis Presley's mistress. She was still an infant when he died. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad was having an affair on my mom with. FML
Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom still refers to his ex as 'the daughter she never had.' FML
Today, my grandmother told me that since my dad was a mistake, I too am a mistake. FML
Today, 98 year-old mom with dementia thought she was talking to one of my dead sisters and not my wife, telling her she'd better never tell me who my real father really, that I ruined her marriage. She won't have me ruining her reputation, so her getting pregnant with me from an affair was my fault apparently. None of my siblings ever told me. FML
Today, I accidentally called my boss "Mom." Now she is jokingly telling everyone that I'm the long-lost daughter she gave up for adoption, because she knew I'd be a failure. FML
Today, at the reading of my mother's last will and testament, I found out that despite having cared for her for the final years of her life, she denied me an inheritance. She basically said I'm an embarrassment, because when she wrote it, I was 31 years-old, with no wife or children. FML
Today, my parents finally got married. At the after-party, my mother got drunk and informed me that even though she and my father were now married, it doesn't change the fact that I'm still a bastard. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML
Today, I realized that even though I was an honor student throughout school, and considered the golden child who was going to go far in life, all I've accomplished a year after graduation is becoming an unemployed single mother still living with my parents. FML
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Top comments
KasiaLilith 13
You have an extra push to graduate, get a job and move out on your own ASAP, nobody has to know who your mom is and what she has done. On other hand, as long as she was a good mom to you, you should jot be embarrassed of her.
Amama_fml 30
No shit, Sherlock.
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Comments (104)
Reverend_Rabbitt 0
I JUST figured it out. It wasn't Elvis, it was YLVIS! It just happened a few months ago. She called herself "the Fox" and then there was a song made about all of her very strange sex noises.
tman1985 9
happy hoe?
babygirl125 6
Thats okay, my grandmother thought she was his twin because she was born same date and time as him but they obviously had different parents lol
QueenOrangeSoda 21
Um, Elvis is the only dead person in this FML. Not quite sure what point you're trying to make.
falcon1987 10
My mom was 8 when elvis died... So how much of an infant was your mother? You must be really young, because I'm still in my mid 20s.
MysteryGuest214 10
Seriously, who going to know how crazy your mom is unless you tell them? Zip your lip.
Reverend_Rabbitt 0
Clear, but irrelevant. Everybody processes emotion and death and regret in their own way. I understand the advice you're trying to give, but you don't have to be a twat about it.
knoxxx 22
You don't really have any idea what type of relationship OP has with his mother, so you're really being quite judgmental here. While I agree that people should appreciate the time they have with their family and loved ones, not everyone is raised by their mother, or even has a mother that cares for them. So just because you had a loving relationship with your parent and know first hand that time you get to spend with people you love is precious, doesn't mean OP is a bitch for being irritated that his mother has made a reputation for him.
Reverend_Rabbitt 0
That's what I meant, except I like using the word "twat".
bretzeller 13
It's interesting that those who can't add, can easily multiply.
L4miimii 7
that's your mom you need to respect her no matter WHAT I'm sure you've done or will do some stupid things in your lifetime & I doubt your mom will go around saying your stupid!