Work: Today, I realized that my boss is able to read all the emails...

By mommyfairy - United States

Today, I realized that my boss is able to read all the emails my coworker and I send each other. Most of them are about how she is such a shitty boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11116

You deserved it

43109

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Work

Shark-infested offices

Stress level: 2020

Give me my drugs!

By apparentlyhesbusy - United States

Today, my boyfriend of almost a year invited me over to dinner at his house. Before leaving, I called him to let him know I was on my way. Just as he begins to tell me he'll call me back, I hear another girl in the background say, "Why don't you just tell her you're busy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

39567

You deserved it

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By wtf - United Kingdom - Staines

Today, I met up with my dad after having worked abroad for the past six months. Apparently, during that time he's had a mid-life crisis or been snorting a few too many turds, because he's now some sort of hippie calling himself "Memnoch of Pleiades". FML

I agree, your life sucks

22402

You deserved it

2098

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By doggie_doo_face - United States

Today, my dog accidentally crapped on her leash. When I flicked the leash to get the poo off, it went flying. Have you ever had warm poo hit you in the face on a cold day when there's 6 inches of snow on the ground? I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26975

You deserved it

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By NoColor - United States - San Francisco

Today, my little sister decided to color-in my favorite black-and-white comic book. It was worth over $200. When I told my mother, she said, "Oh that old thing? I thought it was a stupid coloring book you were too stupid to color." FML

I agree, your life sucks

43400

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - Brazil - Rio De Janeiro

Today, my extremely religious father visited for a family dinner. My daughter had just one job: not to set him off on one of his easily-provoked rants. She nonetheless decided to take a photo in the middle of prayer, because she just HAD to Instagram her food. My father went apeshit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55135

You deserved it

9791

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By Carrie - United States

Today, I was on a date with a guy I met online. After 30 minutes, he abruptly stands up and says he has to leave. He practically ran out of Starbucks to get away from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27139

You deserved it

6922

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

I agree, your life sucks

63241

You deserved it

21947

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By Anonymous - Slovenia - Domzale

Today, I decided to be nice and pay a visit to my grandma. We ended up playing Scrabble. In between passing wind that smelled like rotting eggs, she kept playing the filthiest words she could, and yelled at me whenever I checked to see if they were in the Scrabble dictionary. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40325

You deserved it

5142

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By facepalm - United States

Today, I had to ask my boyfriend to stop measuring his penis during our conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31000

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35969

You deserved it

4967

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By Bostonian - United States

Today, I told my long distance girlfriend I will be coming half way across the country to visit here since I have not seen her in a month, I gave her my flight information so she could pick me up at the airport. She responded with "That's when The Office is on, can you take a cab?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

37461

You deserved it

5738

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By kaitlintaylor - United States

Today, my family went to a football game. It was a little cold, but then it started to rain. I wasn't dressed for rain and I'd left my umbrella in the car. My dad wouldn't let us leave our seats for the whole game. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23552

You deserved it

5224

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and best friend decided to "help" by assembling my new front porch while I was away. Ecstatic, they displayed their handiwork. It's charming how the porch is precariously balanced, it leans in such a way that it appears it will fall over if you walk through the front door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40227

You deserved it

3455

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By aasatt22 - United States

Today, I bought my girlfriend an iPhone. I preloaded it with a bunch of cool apps and stuff and spent a lot and money. She used it to send a text to me 3 hours later saying that she thought we should break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

64749

You deserved it

8654

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, the guardian angel charm my grandma gave to me for "safe driving" fell off my sun visor while I was driving. This scared me enough to cause me to swerve into another moving car. So much for safe driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21625

You deserved it

7067

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a root canal. It wouldn't have been that bad if the dentist hadn't performed it on the wrong tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30930

You deserved it

1837

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By NC - Malaysia

Today, I spilled some milk on my laptop. I was pretty sure it would be fine as it was only a bit of milk. While cleaning the residue, I knocked a whole bucket of water into the insides of the laptop. RIP Macbook. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13231

You deserved it

34774

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By tazthespaz - United States - Comstock Park

Today, a telemarketer called my house phone and asked for my grandpa. We were having his wake. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5084

You deserved it

375

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By KismetSiren - United States - Hoffman Forest

Today, I told my mother I got engaged. Her reply was a great heaving sigh, followed by ,"OK… So how's work going?" She showed more excitement last week when my brother managed to properly make Kraft macaroni. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9685

You deserved it

653

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By ZydecosGirl - United States - Harrisburg

Today, I started the bleaching treatments that my dentist recommended. Now, my two front teeth have ultra white spots, the rest of my teeth are still yellow and the roof of my mouth is burned. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44962

You deserved it

8542

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By ummno - United States

Today, I was awakened in the middle of the night by a frantic banging on my front door. It was a guy whom I'd only been dating a few weeks, with a suitcase. He stated that his wife kicked him out for having an affair, and thought now would be a good time to move in together. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42376

You deserved it

13498

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By Steven - United Kingdom - Llanelli

Judgmental much?

Today, at a supermarket, I ran into a girl I knew in high school. She had 2 kids with her and they were buying school supplies. My cart was full of beer and snacks. After a chat, she left, not before saying, "I hope things get better for you." I have a job and a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1504

You deserved it

222

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By Joey - United States - Reno

Today, my mother was digging up our Halloween decorations, and found the Christmas decorations as well. She's shoddily decorated the house already in half-Halloween and half-Christmas style to save time. I guess we'll be celebrating Christmasween for the rest of the year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21788

You deserved it

2344

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By Mattyboy - United States

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38680

You deserved it

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By PurpleSloth - United States - Tracy

Today, I realized that without my birth control pills, I would have no idea what day it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25820

You deserved it

16042

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By wekasdjkasldasdkasdzcawqe - Sweden

Today, my mother yelled and yelled at me until I apologized to our cat for not petting him when he sat on my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48992

You deserved it

5662

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By anonymous - Canada

Today, I lost my anal virginity because my boyfriend "slipped". FML

I agree, your life sucks

58936

You deserved it

22837

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, while chatting with my in-laws, I told them about my upcoming spinal surgery. Soon after, when I went to get us some drinks, I overheard them murmuring about how many surgeries I've already had, how I'm a drain on the healthcare system, and how I should ideally just die. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37559

You deserved it

2627

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By irony, huh?

Alexa, play "Ironic" by Alanis Morrissette

Today, I got mugged. For an actual mug. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1277

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. Soon, I noticed he was being very quiet. When I looked up, he was in a deep sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32024

You deserved it

8433

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By DoggyBlues - United States

Today, my fiancé told me he wants a security guard to come with us on our honeymoon to Hawaii. Apparently, watching Dog the Bounty Hunter has made him feel unsafe. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27171

You deserved it

2892

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By Anonymous - United States - Southfield

Today, I found out it's possible to dislocate your jaw just by yawning. Now I'm in the ER, looking like a total psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13222

Phew, glad it wasn't me

1377

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By gregm97 - 6/6/2020 05:03

Motel 6 to 9

Today, after my family and I returned to our motel after a long day trip, we saw that the room was made. As we were getting ready to sleep, I pulled my sheets back to find a large piece of crap smeared all over the bed. When we told the front desk about this, they told us to "fuck off." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1872

You deserved it

148

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By Anonymous - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, while walking to my flat, I spotted something white hanging over the handle bar of my parked bike. It was a very used diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22920

You deserved it

1419

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By Anonymous - 10/10/2020 14:02 - United States - Palm Bay

Give me my drugs!

Today, my doctor's office called to reschedule. I hate sacrificing work time at all, but I have to have my contraceptive. The appointment had been set back once already due to insurance issues, and having to wait until November means I'm going to run out… so now I sound like a drug addict. FML

I agree, your life sucks

894

You deserved it

163

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By Anonymous - Ireland

Today, I had to use antiperspirant deodorant under my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29797

You deserved it

6889

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By ohai ur hawt, wanna fuzzzZzZZzzZzz - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43379

You deserved it

13041

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By puppielover - United States

Today, my step-mom informed me that she and my dad will not be attending my wedding because they will be at a NASCAR race. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46853

You deserved it

3704

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was selling personalised stockings at work. When handing a customer's order over to her, which had no name on, I joked, "Oooh this is a bit mysterious". She replied, "Actually, it's in memory of the baby I miscarried earlier this year." FML

I agree, your life sucks

33956

You deserved it

9962

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By soupisyummy - United States

Today, I looked over my next homework assignment for art class. It was to draw a portrait of my best friend. I can't think of anyone besides my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31211

You deserved it

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Top comments

By Doortje | 29

#2175284 - Saturday 12 March 2011 16:05

You're pretty slow, huh?
You probably have her as a friend on facebook too.

By UpsidedownKayak | 9

#2175341 - Saturday 12 March 2011 16:43

It is called computer monitoring and it isn't new.

COMMENTS

By Doortje | 29

#2175284 - Saturday 12 March 2011 16:05

You're pretty slow, huh?
You probably have her as a friend on facebook too.

By Jonah171 | 12

#2175295 - Saturday 12 March 2011 16:09

LOL, you just realized that? Nice job, genius. x.x

gtrgdss | 0

#2176991 - Sunday 13 March 2011 19:09

precisely.

spoo | 24

#2177002 - Sunday 13 March 2011 19:12

1 YDI
2 You are an idiot
3 HAHAHAHAHAHA! you are an idiot!

By tyhod123 | 4

#2175303 - Saturday 12 March 2011 16:12

be careful what you send your coworkers! ydi for not being careful about your work emails

By Snowstar | 0

#2175308 - Saturday 12 March 2011 16:12

YDI. So, SO much.

By truehitman2010 | 0

#2175318 - Saturday 12 March 2011 16:15

ydi X100

By xoxoMEGANxoxo | 13

#2175322 - Saturday 12 March 2011 16:18

looks like ur not going 2 have a job...

By UpsidedownKayak | 9

#2175341 - Saturday 12 March 2011 16:43

It is called computer monitoring and it isn't new.

VikingPrincess19_fml | 9

#2183245 - Tuesday 15 March 2011 4:59

Wow, that's pretty sexist, I know plenty of guys/men who become retarded as soon as they SEE modern technology.

MilkyWay95 | 13

#6654775 - Thursday 21 July 2016 19:28

lol what? please tell me this comment was a joke...

By capt_awesome1 | 11

#2175345 - Saturday 12 March 2011 16:48

nice work, genius. better start looking for a new job !

By BWill9014 | 4

#2175351 - Saturday 12 March 2011 16:52

Wow... OP :l

By Jme4Christ | 0

#2175364 - Saturday 12 March 2011 16:57

kinda serves you right. gossip will get u screwed. and u gotta be a bit sharper than that hun