Work: Today, I realized that my boss is able to read all the emails...

By mommyfairy - United States

Today, I realized that my boss is able to read all the emails my coworker and I send each other. Most of them are about how she is such a shitty boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11116

You deserved it

43123

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Work

Coherence dude, do you have it?

Speaks for us all

Unfortunate

By lucy - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me what I enjoyed most about the weekend we'd spent together. I mention in detail a certain move he had pulled when we made love. When asked what he enjoyed most, he replies "putting my fish tank together". FML

I agree, your life sucks

48523

You deserved it

6090

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By just physical - Canada - Sarnia

Today, in an attempt to break up with my boyfriend, I told him, "I don't feel a mental connection between us." His reply? "Why do we need a mental connection?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

31285

You deserved it

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By MIA

Today, on Maury…

Today, my husband of four years finally told me he has an eight-year-old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1984

You deserved it

157

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By Kay - United Kingdom

Today, I was looking down at my chest and noticed the hairs growing upon it. For a 16 year old, it's pretty impressive. It's a shame that I'm a girl though. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39416

You deserved it

3293

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By watersport - United States

Today, I woke up because I really had to pee. I got out of bed, went to the bathroom and went back to bed. Or so I thought. I did pee, but I only dreamed that I got out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34061

You deserved it

4296

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By patient_mom - Australia - Surrey Hills

Today, I had to wait for my daughter's pet python to finish taking a bath before I could take a shower and go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26971

You deserved it

3941

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By I hate my job - Canada - Delta

Today, I went to my retail job to buy some clothing. As soon as I walked through the doors, my manager yelled at me for not being in appropriate work clothes. I tried to explain that I was off the clock but he was having none of it. I got written up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36151

You deserved it

3081

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By ouch - United States

Today, I had to rush to school to avoid being late. Unfortunately, I forgot to put a bra on beforehand, and as soon as I got to gym class, the first thing my teacher said was: "Okay folks, let's get outside, we're running the mile." FML

I agree, your life sucks

26774

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was lost in a foreign city so I asked a girl for directions. She replied, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" and started screaming in my face and jumping around. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48652

You deserved it

5688

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By anonymous - United States - Ridgeland

Today, a woman left our first date just because I didn't like the same character as her on a TV show. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25071

You deserved it

2618

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By ordinaryday - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I reached a new level of commitment in my relationship with my boyfriend. This happened when he pooped on the side of the road beside my truck, while talking and making eye contact with me while wiping. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26165

You deserved it

3308

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By bnaz - 30/10/2020 17:01

Compassionate man

Today, my father told me I'm a lazy, pathetic waste. I work and have a one-year-old. Apparently, if you're trying to catch up on sleep, you're lazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1015

You deserved it

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By Anonymous

Willpower

Today, I started my new health kick: granola for breakfast, salad for lunch and gym after work. I was so proud of myself until I couldn’t take it anymore and binged at McDonald’s. My health kick lasted 11 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

736

You deserved it

1611

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By cassidy_smith12 - United States - Medina

Today, I was walking down the street when a man stole my purse. He then opened the purse, threw up in it, and gave it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49407

You deserved it

3552

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By spockswifey - United States

Today, I jokingly asked my husband if he had ever cheated on me. In the most sincere and honest tone, he said "if I ever have or ever will, there's no way you would ever find out. I love you too much to lose you", and gave me a hug. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40920

You deserved it

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By Brrrb - Singapore

Today, I passed by a small shop and decided to go in to look at the jeans. Before I could even step in, the shop owner told me expressionlessly, "All the sizes here are too small for you". FML

I agree, your life sucks

60944

You deserved it

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By MystoganFT - United States - Emmaus

Today, some guy I don't know walked up to me and told me that he's determined to sleep with my girlfriend, then walked away while giving me the finger. I've never seen him before in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25066

You deserved it

1806

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By bananaman - United Kingdom

Today, I've been on the same train for two hours at a standstill due to "signal problems". We can't get off because it's "unsafe". I'm on my way home from work and I can see my house through the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46438

You deserved it

3233

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By lonelyengineer - Germany

Today, I sat in the cafeteria at work and saw a girl, which is a rare sight at my workplace, from the back with a beautifully long ponytail. After a full hour of building up courage to perhaps say hi to her, she turned around. It was a 50-year-old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15992

You deserved it

32056

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By howtobesingle - Norway - Oslo

Today, I listened to my best friend complain, again, about the two guys she's seeing, and how she doesn't know which one to choose, because they're both perfect. Meanwhile, I'm cleaning up my dog's loose stools, haven't had a date in over three years and I'm also sharing a room with the very same best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19218

You deserved it

1974

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By anonymous - Canada

Today, after saving up my money for weeks, I went to see my favorite artist in concert with my friends. Two songs in, I passed out, hit my head, and had to have someone drive me home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29859

You deserved it

7218

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By FMeeee - Portugal - Aveiro

Today, I decided to tell my family, including my husband, that I'm pregnant. Their reaction was basically a "meh" before returning to watching the World Cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50356

You deserved it

9760

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By Katy

Today, I fell in a vent in our floor while decorating our Christmas tree. My husband removed the grates months ago to increase airflow. I fell in past my knee and he had to pull me out by the arms. It's been four days and I can still barely walk. My office is on a second floor... We don't have an elevator. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2314

Phew, glad it wasn't me

279

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By snow

Today, I woke up with a massive hangover after passing out at a wild party the night before. Apparently my friends couldn't find a marker, because I woke up with dozens of dicks drawn on my body and face in henna. I have a job interview today. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2776

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to have sex with with my boyfriend. After we had finished I jokingly said, "who's going to sleep in the wet patch?". He got up and said "you're optimistic, I'm not staying. Oh, and I'm dumping you, that performance was disappointing". It was my first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37169

You deserved it

4469

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By Kurochrome - United States

Not this again

Today, after spending over $1000 on plane tickets, I'm visiting my family for the first time in five years. Two hours after I arrived, everyone is screaming at each other and taking their rage out on me. They still ask why I never visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35041

You deserved it

3505

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By mainlineloser - United States - Narberth

Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32360

You deserved it

3324

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By faulty plumbimg! - India

Today, I got my period 2 days early, while being interviewed for my dream job. Let's just say that I don't have very high hopes after walking backwards to the exit door and falling down upon colliding with the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47042

You deserved it

4102

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By harro101 - Australia

Today, the guy I liked for years asked me out. I instantly said yes. As I was walking away, I forgot I was at the top of the stairs and fell down 20 steps. He stood at the top and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27384

You deserved it

6168

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By bitch - United States

Today, my car broke down. I had a two mile, up-hill walk ahead of me. About half way up the hill, a car beeped. Thinking they were poking fun at my misfortune, I began to curse and use obscene gestures, only to find out that it was my neighbor asking if I needed a ride. She drove off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7761

You deserved it

55357

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By Anonymous

Today, I started a new job at a glass shop and my boss asked me to vacuum. I ended up tipping over and shattering the most expensive bong in the shop, which retailed at $3,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4091

You deserved it

1010

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By Fykkhttdsetkkhvln - United States

Today, I was snuggling with my neighbors four week old kitten while babysitting their kids. I fell asleep, rolled over, and woke up next to a dead kitten. FML

I agree, your life sucks

77681

You deserved it

58035

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to renew my driver's license at the DMV. Earlier, I was in a play and was still covered in stage makeup. I didn't realize that not all of it had come off until after my picture was taken and put on my new license. For the next three years, I'll be the guy with the dark eyeliner. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25636

You deserved it

8813

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By spiteful bitch - 25/7/2020 23:00

Surprise!

Today, my boyfriend’s ex found out I was pregnant. Her logical response was to have her teenage sons jump him as he was coming home from work. Now we’re filling out a police report instead of our baby registry. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1495

You deserved it

113

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By ouagadougou - United States

Today, I rolled over a curb and bent one of the signs that read "Please Park Here After Your Road Test," at the DMV, because my foot slipped off the brake just before I put the car in park, which would've ended my Test. The first words out of the examiner's mouth were, "Well you would've passed." FML

I agree, your life sucks

23037

You deserved it

31720

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By Anonymous - Canada - Toronto

Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32860

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - 31/10/2020 23:02

That's gross, dude

Today, it's Saturday and a planned date night for my partner and me. He's not showered since Tuesday and was surprised that I requested that he to do so ahead of getting intimate. And he wonders why our sex life isn't better… FML

I agree, your life sucks

1110

You deserved it

156

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By Disappointed - United States

Today, at school I pulled my bicep muscle arm wrestling. I lost. He was 14. I'm the 23 year old security guard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26387

You deserved it

9775

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By bg4545 - United States - Whittier

Today, for some reason that is unknown to me, I accidentally referred to my girlfriend as "my ex-girlfriend." To her face. Needless to say, my statement became true afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12415

You deserved it

18463

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By OldHabitsDieHard - United States - Erie

Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too late what I had done. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42658

You deserved it

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Top comments

By Doortje | 29

#2175284 - Saturday 12 March 2011 16:05

You're pretty slow, huh?
You probably have her as a friend on facebook too.

By UpsidedownKayak | 9

#2175341 - Saturday 12 March 2011 16:43

It is called computer monitoring and it isn't new.

COMMENTS

By Doortje | 29

#2175284 - Saturday 12 March 2011 16:05

You're pretty slow, huh?
You probably have her as a friend on facebook too.

By Jonah171 | 12

#2175295 - Saturday 12 March 2011 16:09

LOL, you just realized that? Nice job, genius. x.x

gtrgdss | 0

#2176991 - Sunday 13 March 2011 19:09

precisely.

spoo | 24

#2177002 - Sunday 13 March 2011 19:12

1 YDI
2 You are an idiot
3 HAHAHAHAHAHA! you are an idiot!

By tyhod123 | 4

#2175303 - Saturday 12 March 2011 16:12

be careful what you send your coworkers! ydi for not being careful about your work emails

By Snowstar | 0

#2175308 - Saturday 12 March 2011 16:12

YDI. So, SO much.

By truehitman2010 | 0

#2175318 - Saturday 12 March 2011 16:15

ydi X100

By xoxoMEGANxoxo | 13

#2175322 - Saturday 12 March 2011 16:18

looks like ur not going 2 have a job...

By UpsidedownKayak | 9

#2175341 - Saturday 12 March 2011 16:43

It is called computer monitoring and it isn't new.

VikingPrincess19_fml | 9

#2183245 - Tuesday 15 March 2011 4:59

Wow, that's pretty sexist, I know plenty of guys/men who become retarded as soon as they SEE modern technology.

MilkyWay95 | 13

#6654775 - Thursday 21 July 2016 19:28

lol what? please tell me this comment was a joke...

By capt_awesome1 | 11

#2175345 - Saturday 12 March 2011 16:48

nice work, genius. better start looking for a new job !

By BWill9014 | 4

#2175351 - Saturday 12 March 2011 16:52

Wow... OP :l

By Jme4Christ | 0

#2175364 - Saturday 12 March 2011 16:57

kinda serves you right. gossip will get u screwed. and u gotta be a bit sharper than that hun