Today, I realized that my boss is able to read all the emails...

By mommyfairy - 12/3/2011 08:34 - United States

Today, I realized that my boss is able to read all the emails my coworker and I send each other. Most of them are about how she is such a shitty boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11106

You deserved it

43022

Favorite

Work

Compassion

Yappy neighborhood

Headache

By Anonymous - 19/8/2014 21:54 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41856

You deserved it

11743

Favorite

By Ash_U - 19/8/2017 16:00

Today, I had to dig through my dog's poop again because I thought I saw a worm, but it was just the remains of the paper towels my husband leaves all over the house. My efforts to make them both stop have obviously fallen on deaf ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3291

You deserved it

330

Favorite

By kittykat033 - 8/3/2014 17:19 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I started at my new job. My manager, upon meeting me, hugged me and sniffed my neck, then commented that I smelled "natural" and told me how much he loves that. I have to work with this creep until god knows when. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41768

You deserved it

3876

Favorite

By misc - 8/6/2011 17:52 - Netherlands

Today, while in Holland, I lost the bag with my passport, debit and credit cards, license, and camera. I froze my accounts and filled out the paperwork for a new passport. My bag was found the second time I went to the police, with everything in it. Now my accounts are frozen for the 3 weeks I'm here. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35676

You deserved it

7205

Favorite

By JAdams - 13/8/2012 00:49 - United States - Newkirk

Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29470

You deserved it

2891

Favorite

By CheeseLover - 2/12/2016 00:44 - United States - Spring

Today, the pizza delivery man and I know more about each other than me and my family ever have. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9643

You deserved it

1114

Favorite

By Sally - 26/1/2009 00:06 - United States

Today, I am studying abroad in Mexico and someone asked me what it's like to be from Minnesota. I responded in Spanish, in front of thirty people, what I thought translated to, "If you get cold, you can just put on a jacket." Apparently, what I thought meant "jacket" actually meant "masturbate". FML

I agree, your life sucks

23099

You deserved it

5310

Favorite

By S. Dub - 10/4/2020 05:00

Acting is hard work

Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1674

You deserved it

249

Favorite

By Anonymous - 4/4/2015 10:16 - India

Today, the girl I've been seeing for less than a week started raging and ended up threatening me with a knife, after I shot down her idea of getting married next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36180

You deserved it

3428

Favorite

By Krissy - 25/1/2010 08:36 - United States

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19399

You deserved it

4580

Favorite

By Anonymous - 7/8/2009 15:16 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. Halfway through he asked me what day it was. I told him, "Friday." He jumped up and ran over to the TV yelling, "Oh my God! Shark week is almost over!!" I was cock-blocked by the Discovery Channel. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51610

You deserved it

8310

Favorite

By Anonymous - 27/8/2014 23:04 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40472

You deserved it

7474

Favorite

By eeewww - 21/11/2018 03:13

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4175

You deserved it

741

Favorite

By plasticfantastic - 25/4/2009 12:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I met this guy I really liked at a party. We got chatting and then hit the dance floor. We had a "moment" and I went in to kiss him. He shot forward with his tongue already out. His eyes were open. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52587

You deserved it

9593

Favorite

By fuckthat! - 13/11/2017 09:37 - United States - Madison

Today, my soon-to-be ex-husband had the audacity to ask if the woman he cheated on me with could be in the delivery room while I give birth to our baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5514

You deserved it

287

Favorite

By mcase - 31/7/2012 05:36 - United States - Compton

Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31103

You deserved it

4935

Favorite

By Anonymous - 18/1/2013 10:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks

65969

You deserved it

7547

Favorite

By Anonymous - 4/12/2018 14:00

Today I was really hitting it off with my blind date and was eager to arrange a second date. I gave him my number and he decided to call my phone so I could save his number. My phone didn’t ring. He got upset because he thought I gave him a fake number and stormed off. The battery was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2944

That could've happened to me

376

Favorite

By JackSteely - 22/12/2011 12:04

Today, I found a wallet containing an ID card. I managed to track down the owner, who now is threatening to call the police if I don't return the 400 dollars that he insists were also in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37760

You deserved it

2815

Favorite

By Anonymous - 8/11/2011 23:33 - United States

Today, I was driving home from work with the window down. I felt what I thought was rain coming through the window, until I looked over and realized it was urine mist coming from the cattle truck next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36136

You deserved it

3501

Favorite

By Anonymous - 6/8/2009 11:11 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

97711

You deserved it

22890

Favorite

By I'mnotsmarttheothersarestupid - 26/1/2017 14:37 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I had to reply to my boss's comments to a 50+ page document. Every second comment could be answered by, "See the sentence above/below" because apparently someone has problems with his short term memory. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4769

You deserved it

343

Favorite

By FML! - 7/8/2011 00:27 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47294

You deserved it

6548

Favorite

By Anonymous - 28/11/2010 23:49 - United States

Today, I discovered my boyfriend prays before and after sex, because he thinks he'll keep his abstinence by doing so. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33204

You deserved it

4875

Favorite

By Anonymous - 16/6/2017 06:00 - United States - North Olmsted

Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4652

You deserved it

368

Favorite

By LocallyBrewed - 27/2/2015 04:11 - United States

Today, I met my biological parents for the first time, 29 years into my life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, and the meeting ended after they asked me to lend them money because I "literally owe them my life." FML

I agree, your life sucks

40594

You deserved it

2668

Favorite

By Leroy - 5/10/2019 02:01 - Australia

Insanity

Today, my girlfriend slapped me and dumped me because she thought I was gay, simply because I had to miss a date because one of my guy friends was in a car accident, and I went to see him at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1904

You deserved it

Favorite

By sy123 - 29/7/2012 23:34 - United States - Frankfort

Today, I had an ovarian cyst rupture at work, causing sudden severe stomach cramps; this caused my bowels to release everything right then and there, while on the phone with a customer, in the middle of the call center surrounded by 200 other sales reps. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35308

You deserved it

1846

Favorite

By karma - 28/1/2009 18:36 - Canada

First!

Today, I almost had an orgasm. Unfortunately, he had one first. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54986

You deserved it

7423

Favorite

By Anonymous - 4/4/2011 06:15 - Mozambique

Today, I went up to a girl at a bus stop and started chatting her up. Her response? "Am I being robbed?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

34552

You deserved it

7139

Favorite

By reconnect - 27/12/2010 06:30 - United States

Today, Facebook told me I should reconnect with my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34209

You deserved it

7697

Favorite

By figgy - 29/11/2010 10:46 - United States

Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30156

You deserved it

6065

Favorite

By snow - 17/11/2017 01:30

Today, I woke up with a massive hangover after passing out at a wild party the night before. Apparently my friends couldn't find a marker, because I woke up with dozens of dicks drawn on my body and face in henna. I have a job interview today. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2754

You deserved it

3830

Favorite

By Anonymous - 23/1/2015 14:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46955

You deserved it

3047

Favorite

By Anonymous - 13/12/2016 15:06 - United States

Today, I was on my way to work and someone cut me off. I then switched lanes and sped past the person as I flipped them off. What I didn't notice was that the person that cut me off was my boss. He's been shooting me dirty looks from across the room all morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7911

You deserved it

5691

Favorite

By Ana - 14/8/2018 01:30

Today, while fighting with a girl I hate, my nose piercing got a little loose and I ended up snorting it in. That same girl had to take me to the hospital for surgery. She told everyone afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2025

You deserved it

1069

Favorite

By Anonymous - 5/2/2017 05:00 - United States - Fresno

Today, I got a badly-needed job at a local discount store. After being hired, I found out I'm to help with the soon-to-begin store closing sale, and I'll be jobless again after 3 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6801

You deserved it

434

Favorite

By ineed sleep!!! - 22/10/2019 20:00

Let me sleep!

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a huge argument when I suggested we start sleeping in separate rooms. He thinks I don’t love him anymore, but that’s not the case. I’m madly in love with him, but he snores like a freight train and thrashes like a fucking Ninja Turtle all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1844

You deserved it

221

Favorite

By Anonymous - 12/6/2012 16:38 - United States - North Las Vegas

Today, I started my new job as a repossession agent. While attempting to repo a boat, we came across a young couple. The woman was very annoying, and even hit another agent, so I threatened to throw her in the water if she touched him again. I ended up in the water instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21360

You deserved it

14464

Favorite

By Anonymous - 28/1/2011 04:24 - United States

Today, I found out that I have to reschedule my upcoming honeymoon because my office will be understaffed that week, due to the boss going on vacation right after my wedding. Oh, yeah, and he's in my bridal party. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28865

You deserved it

2644

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Doortje | 28

#2175284 - Saturday 12 March 2011 16:05

You're pretty slow, huh?
You probably have her as a friend on facebook too.

By UpsidedownKayak | 9

#2175341 - Saturday 12 March 2011 16:43

It is called computer monitoring and it isn't new.

Comments

By Doortje | 28

#2175284 - Saturday 12 March 2011 16:05

You're pretty slow, huh?
You probably have her as a friend on facebook too.

By Jonah171 | 12

#2175295 - Saturday 12 March 2011 16:09

LOL, you just realized that? Nice job, genius. x.x

gtrgdss | 0

#2176991 - Sunday 13 March 2011 19:09

precisely.

spoo | 24

#2177002 - Sunday 13 March 2011 19:12

1 YDI
2 You are an idiot
3 HAHAHAHAHAHA! you are an idiot!

By tyhod123 | 4

#2175303 - Saturday 12 March 2011 16:12

be careful what you send your coworkers! ydi for not being careful about your work emails

By Snowstar | 0

#2175308 - Saturday 12 March 2011 16:12

YDI. So, SO much.

By truehitman2010 | 0

#2175318 - Saturday 12 March 2011 16:15

ydi X100

By xoxoMEGANxoxo | 13

#2175322 - Saturday 12 March 2011 16:18

looks like ur not going 2 have a job...

By UpsidedownKayak | 9

#2175341 - Saturday 12 March 2011 16:43

It is called computer monitoring and it isn't new.

VikingPrincess19_fml | 9

#2183245 - Tuesday 15 March 2011 4:59

Wow, that's pretty sexist, I know plenty of guys/men who become retarded as soon as they SEE modern technology.

MilkyWay95 | 13

#6654775 - Thursday 21 July 2016 19:28

lol what? please tell me this comment was a joke...

By capt_awesome1 | 11

#2175345 - Saturday 12 March 2011 16:48

nice work, genius. better start looking for a new job !

By BWill9014 | 4

#2175351 - Saturday 12 March 2011 16:52

Wow... OP :l

By Jme4Christ | 0

#2175364 - Saturday 12 March 2011 16:57

kinda serves you right. gossip will get u screwed. and u gotta be a bit sharper than that hun