Today, I overheard my dad telling my mum that the only way I'm ever going to get into a relationship is if I "pose as a woman and con some gullible bastard online." He's probably right. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard my parents talking about me and discussing how I've never had a boyfriend. My mum laughed that maybe they should pay someone to go out with me, and my dad replied, "Heh, not enough money in the world." FML
Today, I overheard my dickhead dad telling my girlfriend that she's too good for me, then asking if she really wants to settle for someone like me. FML
Today, I called my mom to see how she was doing. She quickly hijacked the conversation and said that she's signed me up for a dating site, because she feels bad that I can't find a decent man. I've been dating my boyfriend for seven months, and she's seen me with him multiple times. FML
Today, I found out that the creepy weirdo who's been sending me messages for a while is just my dad. His excuse was, "I wanted you to feel like someone would actually like you." FML
Today, my dad found out that I'm a member on a bodybuilding forum and decided to join it too. It's only been a few hours, but he's already told everyone that he's my dad, posted that I'm a "total pussy in real life", and questioned my sexuality. Thanks. FML
Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML
Today, my father described me as "the sort of sucker women marry then cheat on all the time." My mother agreed with him. FML
Today, I found my dad on a dating website looking for younger girls. My mother and father are "happily" married, well according to her Facebook profile. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
Today, my mum decided that me being bisexual meant that I was "deciding whether or not to be a lesbian" because supposedly, no man will have me. Thanks mum. FML
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Top comments
lilhellian 27
Your asshole of a dad got married. Why can't you?
xelle_garfieldx 12
keep your head up hon
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Comments (106)
NoMore_CoolNames 14
That just means you're a man with very feminine features. Your perspective makes all the difference.
Admastvia 4
FYL op. Parents should have pride in their children's ability to do things.
Cazz91 21
That's your problem OP, you listen to your parents. Your father shouldn't be discouraging you like that. He is contributing to lowering your self esteem when you're probably a lot better than how he views you. Work on building your confidence back up and learn to love yourself better. You can't learn to love another until you have learned to love yourself.
Epikouros 32
That was a great motivational speech - until the last sentence, which sounds like "you're doomed to be alone forever" to people with low self-esteem. Nothing prevents OP from loving someone else; he won't be as critical of other people as he is of himself. And nothing boosts your self-esteem like being loved.
Fedezzer 20
Well, it worked for Ben Stiller in 'There's Something About Mary'. :3
AngelSpit 18
I kind of walked away from that with the impression that I'll never be happy with someone else unless I copiously ********** well ..... that could just be me though
XxNightwingxX 21
We should make a "Forever Alone" club, and then all of us forever alone people can just date each other.
RedPillSucks 33
But... but... but then you'd have to get booted from the club since you're no longer alone. Getting kicked out would lower your self esteem, making you undateable, and eligible to join the club again.
taylorjsmith 6
It's not if you can get a girl it's how low are you willing to go
hanginthere 7
I will date you!
trbuson 11
You should see how gullible your father is.
theworldisflat 8
Don't even consider it find someone who loves you for being you and NEVER settle for anything less than what you deserve!!! :)
5280420 13
Are you a guy? Are you gay/straight/...? Just give it time. Have fun. If you really want a relationship with someone, you'll make it happen.
pinguino3669_fml 23
These are the times when parents' advice should be completely ignored. Just be yourself OP and be safe, and you'll find someone one day! :)