Love: Today, I met my best friend's girlfriend for the first time....

By ohwell - 24/11/2014 13:44 - Sweden - Tullinge

Today, I met my best friend's girlfriend for the first time. After a few hours of talking and eating, she followed me to the bathroom and said, dead serious, ''If you ever touch him or get too close to him, I will cut you''. I've known him for twelve years, they have been dating for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 926

You deserved it 3 301

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/01/2015 13:35 - Australia

Today, I met my boyfriend's best friend. She was a girl he's known for years, and I respected that. She was sweet, until my boyfriend went to the bathroom and she threatened to stab me if I don't leave him. He doesn't believe me, and accused me of having serious jealousy issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 995

You deserved it 2 910

Catch 22

By Anonymous - 26/03/2021 20:01

Today, I was at a friend's house; she left the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I'd, "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. I'm a gay guy, and she knows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 100

By Brennan Lebrun - 18/05/2018 05:00

Today, I went to my best friend's house to propose to my girlfriend of 6 years. When I walked in, she was having sex with my best friend's 37-year-old brother. She then yelled, ”You should have knocked first!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 910

You deserved it 354

Conundrum

By Anonymous - 04/05/2021 04:01

Today, my best friend is completely head-over-heels for his girlfriend, has been buying her very expensive stuff and gave her the ring of compromise after 4 years of relationship. The problem is, I just found out that the girlfriend has been sexting with someone else, and is sure to dump my friend for that guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 108

False hope

By :(( - 14/06/2011 18:06 - United States

Today, I invited over my best friend, whom I've loved for over a year, since she had to tell me "something important". I got excited and thought she was going to tell me she loved me too. She ended up coming out to me, and wanted to know if I would meet her girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 980

You deserved it 6 126

Record scratch moment

By Anonymous - 08/12/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend introduced me to her best male friend, a creepy "Nice Guy" type. When she went to the bathroom, he came closer to me and said, "She thinks she likes you, but I'm destined to be with her, I saw it in the stars. Nobody can love her like me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 99

Coherence dude, do you have it?

By Anonymous - 04/11/2020 20:03 - United States - Herndon

Today, I learned that my best friend has been cheating on his girlfriend for 2 months. This is the same person who, 2 months ago, wanted to break our friendship off because he thought we "got too close" and felt like he was cheating on his girlfriend by spending too much time with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 067

You deserved it 249

By daniel55 - 18/02/2013 00:11 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 372

You deserved it 5 866

The iron is hot

By Anonymous - 22/10/2021 17:00 - United States - West Lafayette

Today, my supposed "best friend" started going out with the girl I'd just split up with, immediately after she said she wanted to see other people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 948

You deserved it 90

What the frick?

By cuckoo - 22/08/2015 03:59 - United States - Mobile

Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 530

You deserved it 4 100

hard_candy 25

Monday 24 November 2014 18:22

someone sounds very insecure.

ComoEsJuan 24

Monday 24 November 2014 18:23

Such sharp words from a psycho.

Comments

MegaExplosives 17

Tuesday 25 November 2014 3:38

Was her namr Yuno Gasai by any chance?

nevermindthemind 18

Tuesday 25 November 2014 3:56

that's a possibility if only they were from Japan and anime apparently

ecstasy22 12

Tuesday 25 November 2014 4:02

she thinks you are gay and in love with her boyfriend :p

jessiejamesp 11

Tuesday 25 November 2014 4:25

She sounds batshit crazy you really need to warm your friend

MariahNichole7 13

Tuesday 25 November 2014 4:44

Lol. That relationship isn't going to last long.

soccer8goalie 16

Tuesday 25 November 2014 4:54

Yikes...

camogirl2249 19

Tuesday 25 November 2014 5:27

Whoa... You should probably tell your best friend! She sounds crazy!

NNCR12 5

Tuesday 25 November 2014 6:03

Stage 5 clinger. Tell your friend to run for the hills.

ChibiChick25 8

Tuesday 25 November 2014 8:21

I suggest the next time u talk to her, record it as proof to her craziness. if your friend doesn't believe you, well that's on him.

Weiss_Schnee 14

Tuesday 25 November 2014 8:37

I worrying thing is that this is commons. My mates new gf did that to me... I'm a guy...

SkiBunnyBB96 11

Tuesday 25 November 2014 8:52

Psycho much?

Keywords

Mental health Growing old Relatable Health Periods Embarrassing Job interview Awkward Work Education Social Media Stalker Instagram Love Phobias Spiders Ironic Animals Ecology Transportation Bikes Weird Kids Parents Confused AITA Drunk Poopoo peepee Geek Facebook

The Top

Today, while trying to spice up our marriage, we decided to get a hotel room and roleplay as strangers who meet in a bar and have a one night stand. By the time I got there, he was engrossed in the football and on the beer. He didn't notice me arrive and when he did, he was too drunk to get the roleplay right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 440

You deserved it 273

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 1

The Top

Today, I was attending my bachelor party. I watched a very attractive young girl dancing on a pole, giving me a seductive look. As she walked up to me, I realized it was my soon-to-be wife's younger sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 621

You deserved it 17 965

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 737

You deserved it 6 391

Today, I made microwaveable popcorn. When the bag finished popping, I took it out and opened it and put my face in close to get a big whiff. It now feels like I have third degree burns inside my nose and behind my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 123

You deserved it 48 063

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 961

You deserved it 5 269

Today, the professionally-installed sex swing ceiling mount my husband insisted on, but never lasted long enough to make use of, was converted into a baby suspension swing for our toddler. He was right about it, but I still can’t admit it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 318

Today, I had to prepare for my big meeting tomorrow morning. Before going to bed, I washed my face. Unfortunately, the towel I wiped myself with turned out to house our red ant infestation. My face looks like a ripe tomato. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 733

You deserved it 788