Today, I'm staying with my grandma and her older sister while my parents are away. It's been two hours and so far they've popped vicodins, talked about banging Alex Trebek, and had a farting contest. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm staying with my grandmother and overheard her having phone sex. FML
Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML
Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML
Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML
Today, I went to visit my grandparents, as my grandmother may not have long left. When my stepfather wasn't grilling my visibly uncomfortable grandad about Bible passages, my mother was trauma-dumping about how hard her life has been, and how awful her marriage to my father was. They're his parents. FML
Today, I'm staying with my in-laws. My husband is fighting with his dad, who's fighting with his brother-in-law, who's fighting with his wife. The only ones not fighting are my sister-in-law and her boyfriend, who're getting along great on a squeaky mattress in the room next to mine. FML
Today, I'm taking care of my bedridden, 94-year-old grandma. She woke me up at 6 a.m. only to tell me her UTI is still there. Later, she made me interrupt my 15-minute-dinner a total of 4 times because she wanted things like "more lotion in her buttcrack." FML
Today, I went over to confront my parents about how my siblings always get to visit and all I do when I’m over is work on their house or take care of grandma. My mom was very upset. Then she snuck out with my sister, leaving me to take care of grandma until she got back. FML
Today, my grandpa came into my room and asked for a pen. As I gave it to him, he let rip the foulest fart I've ever smelled in my life, and walked out without a word. 2 hours later, the smell is not only still there, it's filled the room. Looks like I'm sleeping downstairs on the couch tonight. FML
Today, I was stuck in the car with my grandma for an hour as she described to me how she had looked through my great grandma's poop to make sure her calcium pills were being digested. FML
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Top comments
bobafett892 23
Sounds like some cool old ladies
MortenM 17
Old people for 200 please.
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Comments (102)
Pk93 38
you won't be bored!
Dream_alone 10
One day you also will slow down and enjoy things that you have never imag. no matter how could krazy old it may seem lol
fmlrulesBolt 14
I imagine the fat professor shooting out farts lol
MamaRedz92 2
that's not bad, my grandma drinks until she gets emotional n we have to convince her go to bed lmao better to be laughing then dealing with drama
yaxm1000 10
I've been there, but I lived there. I agree OP, YLS
Hermmm 12
Let me join ;)
Shnikkeroo 2
Now it's a party!!
j11a01 16
It's all fun and games till someone ***** there pants. Cool grandma tho. I mean could be worst. would you rather her be up your ass on everything you do?
that_arian 9
They sound awsome
1234CATS4321 15
Don't worry about it OP! If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. At least you'll have stories to tell when you're older