By sirphilmckraken - 08/08/2014 17:30 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I let my coworker use my PC during lunch, because his was having problems. A few hours later, my boss called me into his office and gave me hell for apparently looking at furry porn during lunch break. He won't believe my explanation. For fuck's sake, Dave. FML
I agree, your life sucks 45 900
You deserved it 6 447

sirphilmckraken tells us more.

sirphilmckraken 4

OP here! I have yet to find a good way to get the tosser back for this so all suggestions welcome, ideally ones that my boss will not give me more shit for. Thats all I need on top of this! FYI, I did have a go at him but he shrugged it off and denied it. For ****'s sake Dave.

Top comments

Plug a wireless mouse into the back of his computer. jostle it occasionally so he thinks his mouse is on the Fritz. Slowly add pennies to his desk phone every night till it's really heavy then take them all out and watch him hit himself in the face. shift everything in his office/cubicle to the left a few inches and watch him go nuts trying to figure out what's wrong. Crush up melatonin into his coffee so instead of getting a caffeine jump his body tries to put him to sleep. (melatonin is a natural body produced sleep aid you can buy at any Walgreens)

find out what TV series he's currently watching and viciously spoil everything.

Comments

wickedalwayswins 7

Liz Lemon, you mind if I google myself in your office?

sirphilmckraken 4

OP here, give me solid suggestions that won't attract the attention of my boss who is now watching my every move!

SailorSolaris 43

Tell your boss to check Dave's comp. Maybe he'll find something. I wouldn't be surprised if that's why his comp is having troubles.

sirphilmckraken 4

But how did mine get flagged and his didn't? Unless he used proxies or something. He never seemed smart enough for that haha

Then tell your boss to go search Dave's internet history. Heck that's the reason Dave's computer isn't working and he needed yours.

If there are CCTV cameras in your work place a quick check will show who was really at your computer.

Who said anything about within the working space? If not then do it before work. For example, just unscrew his chair. Then here's what happens: Dave comes in. Fresh coffee in his hand. Goes to his office. Sits in his chair. Chair collapses. In the moment of distress, the coffee spills all over him. Payback restored.

"During lunch break." But That's None Of My Business.

To get revenge on Dave, look up Child **** or Pony **** or something like that.

Pony **** is one thing... I don't think this issue warrants him getting arrested for CP

That's a federal crime. Some fuzzy **** does not warrant a federal crime. Plus that's just creepy. You're talking about exploited children.

MzZombicidal 36

I hope no one pisses you off, #36. You seem like one of those people who take things way too far...

Yessi_Boo 14

No good deed goes unpunished, unfortunately

at least you figured out why Dave's computer doesn't work out

cjwayy 22

There's a guy at my university who is into furry and wears a homemade shirt that says "Furry Pride". I think it's disgusting.

Well turn away you judgemental bitch. oh wait, you cant be a bitch, thats an animal-.-

Brooke5702 13

I'm a furry, and I hate the thought of furry ****.. Not all of us are bad.. The ones like me are pretty much just people who love anthropomorphic animals :P that's it.. It's like a different culture.

Hey! Furries are awesome not disgusting

I'm confused, what's a furry? I thought it all had to do with a weird sex thing.

Thats just what the public thinks. Most furries aren't into the whole sex thing. But thw ones who are give the whole fandom a bad rep.

Brooke5702 13

A furry is a normal human being who thinks that anthropomorphic animals are awesome. We read stories and draw them, while claiming a "fursona" which is an animal we feel we are closest to. We go to furcons to hangout and make friends, and we love to party. Not all of us watch "furry ****" and personally I think it's disgusting. We don't do ***********, because that's just wrong... There you go.

don't trust coworkers. just say it ran out of battery

Octwo 16

Or tell Dave that after his furscrusion he can go **** himself.

R3DH3RO 7

Op,I advise you to tell your boss to check the cameras if you have any and then check the time on your history on your computer and then show your boss it was not you.

Did you go out for lunch? If so, use the receipt to prove your innocence!

sirphilmckraken 4

It was a cafe that doesn't give out receipts and I generally don't keep them anyway unless they're important x(

Maybe credible witnesses that saw that you were at the cafe?