By nocongratsneeded - 04/11/2015 03:23 - United States - Bloomfield Hills

Spicy
Today, I learned the hard way that my boyfriend lied about getting a vasectomy before we met, in spite of knowing how phobic I am of pregnancy and kids. His defense? "I figured you'd change your mind someday, because all you chicks love babies." FML
I agree, your life sucks 29 029
You deserved it 4 367

nocongratsneeded tells us more.

Hi all, this is the OP. Obviously, he's my ex, even though he doesn't seem to realize it yet to judge by the texts and phone calls. To give a little more background, we'd been together for almost three years. We were talking about moving in together (but not getting married, I've seen too many of my friends get divorced already). To really prove that the universe hates me, he and I were still using condoms, because I am that freaked out about pregnancy and I can't take hormonal BC. This is the first time ever I've had one break. I'm sure I'm going to catch a lot of flak for this, but I have scheduled an abortion for the end of this week. It's not a human or a potential one to me, it's just a burden and reminder that former relationship was based on a big fat lie. Plus, being pregnant makes me even more anxious than the thought of being pregnant ever did, and I was full-on tokophobic before. Every time I think about having my body being overtaken by some disgusting little alien creature, my heart starts pounding and I get dizzy. I don't know how many times I've thrown up on cue just thinking about it, and it's not from morning sickness. I also really, really, really dislike babies, contrary to my ex's assumptions. I had one shoved at me when I was a teenager, and I nearly dropped it because everything about it terrified me. I don't think it's a good idea to just hope that those maternal hormones kick in and make me suddenly like kids when I haven't since as long as I can remember. So...no congratulations needed, and no pro-life or pro-adoption rants, either. If you'd find it in your heart to suck it up and make the best of this situation, good for you. The best situation for me is to put everything about this horrible experience behind me as soon as possible.

Top comments

Honestly whatever you did as a response, he deserved it. Relationships should be built on trust not lies. FYL

Good for you, OP! Not every woman has that maternal instinct, and if you didn't have the drive to have kids before you got pregnant, chances are slim it will kick in after. You have done the responsible thing by not bringing a life into the world that you do not want. Two things I would like to mention: copper IUD may be a good option for you. It lasts 10 years and is non-hormonal. I've had mine for three years and it really is no-maintenance birth control that actually works. Second, no matter how sure you are that abortion is right, it can bring up some psychological distress after. If you find yourself getting depressed, please know this is normal. It may be beneficial to seek short-term counseling afterwards. Hell, just what your boyfriend put you through could warrant a few sessions. Its incredibly helpful. Good luck in all you do! <3

Comments

The only thing that bothers me about this FML is the fact that you expected your boyfriend to get a vasectomy and eliminate his chances of having kids if you two were to break up. If your so terrified of kids it should be on you to get an IUD or something.

He said that he'd already gotten one before they got together. OP, your ex is a terrible person, and if there's any legal action you can take against him, go for it.

The boyfriend said he had a vasectomy before they met....

What I got from this is basically you only dated him because he said he had a vasectomy FYI vasectomies are reversible just sayin

I disagree with the folks saying to get an abortion. Imo, taking a life before it even has a chance to begin and see its potential is despicable and just as bad as murder. Adoption/foster care is the better way to go if you ask me. Also, if you wish, you can look at it this way: no better way to get over a fear than to face it head-on.

Are you for real?! Go back and read OP's comment, then **** off.

That ******** probably puts more thought into his pizza toppings than the consequences of making another human being. Sue his ass for more child support than he will ever be able to afford - and be sure to tell his parents that they royally ****** up raising him. What a fucktard.

I don't blame you. I don't want kids either. They're loud, annoying, messy, needy, and wow are they a HUGE financial burden. Yeah no thank you. Good on you OP.

Denise1988 13

What a wonderful person you are, bagging on innocent children who can't defend themselves.

but nothing I said was wrong. They really do cost A LOT of money to raise. And they can be annoying. Extremely annoying actually.

120—not everyone likes children. And that's okay. If someone doesn't like animals, we don't pressure them into getting a pet. It's worse to shame someone who doesn't like kids into having kids. If someone has no desire to be a parent, they shouldn't be a parent. Simple as that.

I have a kid that I love more than anything and I agree with 116's statement. How are you going to argue that kids are not loud or messy or cost money?

"All you chicks love babies." I find it hard to believe that this is the first time he's said something so ignorant.

you're a strong woman and you should do what you think is the right thing to do!

NodakN8V 25

I'm neither for it or against it. It's not my body and I have no right to make any decisions or assumptions. Do what's best for you and remember tomorrow's another day.