Today, I kissed my gorgeous new boyfriend for the first time. I ran my hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out and five lice crawled onto my hand. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I are so close that we share everything. This now includes his head lice. Thanks, dude. FML
Today, I realized that the most romantic thing that my boyfriend and I have done in the last month is comb lice out of each other's hair. FML
Today, after finally spending the night with my longtime crush, it's as if I can still feel her fingers caressing my hair. But wait, no, that's just the head lice she gave me. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, I have lice. The dog we rescued infested our house. No amount of showering has made me feel clean, and my bald husband just doesn't understand why I'm so bothered. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. About 2 hours later, he got to hold my hair while I puked, also for the first time. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML
Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend asking if I'd Skype with him. Thinking he'd find my tousled bed hair and big t-shirt sexy, I went on. The first thing he noticed was the massive booger on my face that stretched from my nose to the other side of my cheek. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
seeoseek 18
Ewwww nasty!!
isallwaysme 27
That's damnruff (horrible pun over)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (128)
octaviamarieb 18
I just threw up a little. dandruff is the worst!
JustNatalie 8
Well.. When I kissed my two exes for the first time I had a fever for days. After both!
FMLworthy5000 21
*cue Hannah Montana's nobody's perfect*
worldclassrager 41
Maybe don't touch is head for a Little bit
unicornlover13 8
UhhHHHhhhh... RATCHET Yes vote this down as much as you want, I don't give a crap
bleedingglitter 24
This made my skin crawl.
leximichelle 13
Dandruff I can understand because it’s embarrassing and not always something you can control, but having lice and allowing someone to be that close to potentially catch it (provided you’re in the process of getting rid of it), without letting them know you have it IS disgusting and frankly just careless. Has he even no shame to avoid such a situation??
peterblackmer91 12
That is 100% a deal breaker for me. So gross!