Today, I kissed my gorgeous new boyfriend for the first time. I ran my hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out and five lice crawled onto my hand. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I are so close that we share everything. This now includes his head lice. Thanks, dude. FML
Today, I realized that the most romantic thing that my boyfriend and I have done in the last month is comb lice out of each other's hair. FML
Today, after finally spending the night with my longtime crush, it's as if I can still feel her fingers caressing my hair. But wait, no, that's just the head lice she gave me. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, I have lice. The dog we rescued infested our house. No amount of showering has made me feel clean, and my bald husband just doesn't understand why I'm so bothered. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. About 2 hours later, he got to hold my hair while I puked, also for the first time. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML
Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend asking if I'd Skype with him. Thinking he'd find my tousled bed hair and big t-shirt sexy, I went on. The first thing he noticed was the massive booger on my face that stretched from my nose to the other side of my cheek. FML
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Top comments
seeoseek 18
Ewwww nasty!!
isallwaysme 27
That's damnruff (horrible pun over)
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Comments (128)
sleepyglowstar 32
I seriously hope that was "uh Buh bye boyfriend"
hubbs666 2
People this is much scarier than you think. OP is from Australia, lice down there are the size of rats and spit poison that decays even the strongest of metals
Cysioland 8
Eww, your boyfriend is a walking biological bomb!
kekemj 3
That sucks. Bad. I would've been sooo disappointed!
Nicholi124 10
He Doesn't sound gorgeous at all to me
cf1313 6
Eewww
emeraldmaz 9
Well, dandruff isn't so bad, it's just dry skin. Heck, it could just be sun burn. And it might not be something he can easily control, if certain shampoos don't work, or he has allergies. As for the lice, since he's got dandruff, he may not even have known he had them, because your scalp itches with dandruff too. In fact, he must have quite clean hair, as lice much prefer clean hair rather than dirty.
JustNatalie 8
My boyfriend has dandruff :/ he's tried to get rid of it, but nothing works.. It's not so bad though :) and he doesn't have lice
Drifting 21
That's just so gross...I have nothing else to say....
flashback_fml 14
How gorgeous was he with all the dandruff when you met him?
LissaMccracken 23
Well, its hard to believe that 5 lice crawled onto your hand. But, I would like to know how you handled this.