Intimacy: Today, I had to pick my parents up from jail. They thought it...

By Username - 20/06/2011 15:57 - United States

Today, I had to pick my parents up from jail. They thought it would be okay to have sex behind a bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 669

You deserved it 4 260

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Same thing different taste

Excuse me

By Anonymous - 30/03/2015 10:30 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 295

You deserved it 3 790

Family Matters

By whyme102008 - 13/07/2011 06:32 - United States

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152 061

You deserved it 8 662

Whatcha do when they come for you?

By Anonymous - 22/01/2011 20:20 - United States

Today, my girlfriend called me to pick her up from jail. She'd been arrested for indecent exposure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 890

You deserved it 4 382

Dumbasses

By stay in there - 17/04/2020 23:00

Today, I got a call from the local police station. Apparently, my idiot son and his equally dumb girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to have sex in the car at a park in broad daylight. They assumed no one would be there due to the quarantine. They were wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 255

You deserved it 308

Caught

By fuck - 09/11/2013 23:30 - United States - Hubert

Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 405

You deserved it 5 276

By GoldenTornado11 - 10/05/2017 14:00

Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 088

You deserved it 550

Caught in 4K

By RBergman - 25/04/2015 20:05 - United States - Basin

Today, I had to arrest my own boyfriend for having sex in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 796

You deserved it 3 359

Confinement's gonna be fun

By Anonymous - 16/03/2020 23:01

Today, I left the house to get groceries. My parents asked me where I was going and how long I would be gone for. Thinking they were just being inquisitive parents, I ignored them. I got home 20 minutes later to them having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 2 364

By Anonymous - 15/04/2016 19:46 - United States - Bronx

Today, I got locked in my boyfriend's garage in my underwear while his parents ripped him a new one for having sex beneath their roof. His sister had to let me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 538

You deserved it 5 036

Pranked!

By RetroDayDreamer - 10/09/2011 15:46 - United States

Today, my parents overheard me having sex with my girlfriend. They thought it would be funny to barge in with nothing but underwear on. This has happened twice now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 429

You deserved it 28 871

greg1234567890_fml 2

Monday 20 June 2011 19:01

whose bush was it?

green_eggs_and_h 0

Monday 20 June 2011 19:03

At least you know your parents still love eachother.

Comments

642_fml 0

Monday 20 June 2011 20:31

Hah tjeres nothing wrong doing it behind a bushh hah:)

starsfan_9 7

Monday 20 June 2011 21:16

Agreed, the inconsiderate thing to do would've been to do it in front of the bush

greatwyt 0

Monday 20 June 2011 20:31

perverts are fine :) at least they not gay

i_love_life121 0

Monday 20 June 2011 20:34

wait... that's not okay?

mismonroe 0

Monday 20 June 2011 20:50

You mean.. it's not ok..?

HahaYDI 0

Monday 20 June 2011 20:56

Good thing a police officer found them before they ran into a wild Pokemon. Those bushes are full of them.

iwuvwoo 7

Monday 20 June 2011 21:09

well, at least your parents love eachother. 

Sunny_Eclipse 6

Monday 20 June 2011 21:11

Nice parents. I hope they haven't screwed up your life much.

marcyfrances 4

Monday 20 June 2011 21:11

well be glad they still like eachother!!!!

Khathia21 0

Monday 20 June 2011 21:11

That's hilarious...sorry that it happened to you though!!!

starsfan_9 7

Monday 20 June 2011 21:14

some peoples children eh?

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The Top

Today, I came back home after a year studying abroad. Imagine my surprise when I found out my mom had gotten breast implants while I was away. All through dinner, I kept catching myself staring at them. No wonder my dad was so much happier than when I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 775

You deserved it 5 102

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 608

You deserved it 5 178

The Top

Today, I realized after seeing my ex in his new relationship that he does everything for her that I always wanted him to do for me. Sucks not being worth it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 180

Today, it's the 11th time in a row my wife has promised sex, then backed out. Some were good valid reasons I’ll admit, but this time we got as far as naked dry-humping when she suddenly decided she was too upset about our cat dying 8 years ago, so instead she played on her phone until she fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 954

You deserved it 309

Today, on my holiday in Thailand I was using the ATM to withdraw $500 worth of Baht. While doing this the ATM crashed and decided to restart. After 5 minutes it spat my card out and nothing else. When I returned to the hotel to use the Wifi, the ATM had deducted the money from my account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 937

You deserved it 1 943

Today, my girlfriend called me and told me "she has a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So, I hurried home only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 138

You deserved it 3 423

Today, after a particularly gruesome nightmare about spiders due to my irrational phobia, I decided to try and desensitise myself by googling 'house spiders'. I can't stop the feeling of something crawling over every inch of my body, but at least I now know they can live up to six years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 736

You deserved it 7 353

Today, I woke up to two text messages from my mother. The first said, "You could've had this for breakfast. How do you like your eggs?" The next text was a picture message of her naked. I think it was meant to be sent to her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 785

You deserved it 2 908

Same thing different taste

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