By Anonymous - 12/12/2020 17:01 - United States - Kalamazoo

I'm worth it

Today, I realized after seeing my ex in his new relationship that he does everything for her that I always wanted him to do for me. Sucks not being worth it. FML
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By  Chazzster  |  20

OP, either you ex learned from your prior relationship how to treat a significant other, or that person told him how they expect to be treated, or this is the “honeymoon” phase when both parties are on their best behavior.

Whatever the case, obsessing on your ex’s current relationship is self-defeating. It keeps you from looking out for you present and future and just leaves you feeling disappointed. And that attitude keeps others from being interested in you.

When you have a breakup or some other significant disappointment in life allow yourself an appropriate time and space to grieve your loss. But set an end date for getting past the grieving and get into a new plan for your life. The longer and more intense the relationship, the longer the grieving period. But it’s important to move on. I’m not saying you have to find a new significant other in that time - Just have a plan for how you are going to move on that does not involve obsessing about your ex. And finally learn from the experience - Learn to speak up for how you want to be treated and to listen to how the other person wants to be treated.

Not every relationship works out. Sometimes the attraction might be there but there are incompatibilities that just keep it from working. Pick your battles, some things are important and worth standing up for, some things are best compromised, and some things are unimportant. Learn to know the difference.

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  Nhayaa  |  21

How can you tell from a 3 sentences long FML that she didn't? It always amazes me how people just assume things but actually know nothing of the situation.

By  Chazzster  |  20

OP, either you ex learned from your prior relationship how to treat a significant other, or that person told him how they expect to be treated, or this is the “honeymoon” phase when both parties are on their best behavior.

Whatever the case, obsessing on your ex’s current relationship is self-defeating. It keeps you from looking out for you present and future and just leaves you feeling disappointed. And that attitude keeps others from being interested in you.

When you have a breakup or some other significant disappointment in life allow yourself an appropriate time and space to grieve your loss. But set an end date for getting past the grieving and get into a new plan for your life. The longer and more intense the relationship, the longer the grieving period. But it’s important to move on. I’m not saying you have to find a new significant other in that time - Just have a plan for how you are going to move on that does not involve obsessing about your ex. And finally learn from the experience - Learn to speak up for how you want to be treated and to listen to how the other person wants to be treated.

Not every relationship works out. Sometimes the attraction might be there but there are incompatibilities that just keep it from working. Pick your battles, some things are important and worth standing up for, some things are best compromised, and some things are unimportant. Learn to know the difference.

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  kfchicken_fml  |  27

or and I don't know why people are pretending like this isn't a thing, he likes her more? maybe he's just more compatible with her so these actions come more naturally to him in this situation. you treat people you have better chemistry with better. it doesn't mean OP didn't tell him to act that way, or that her ex is in a honeymoon phase.

By  PawgPower  |  3

He had to learn it from somewhere. You breaking up with him was what he needed to get his act together and actually try. It has nothing to do with you being good enough and everything with you being a positive standard for him to reach. I just hate that he didn’t get it together with you 😔

By  tounces7  |  27

Not gonna lie. This could be my ex posting frankly. I do do a lot more for my current relationship.

Why? Because she does a lot more for me, simple as that.

Maybe OP just needs to learn that you need to give if you want to receive.

But, that's just a guess, who knows what the reasons might be.

By  Onisarubia  |  1

I had been with my ex for 8 years trying and trying to make things work and when he broke up with me he told me its a 2 way road and he now only likes me as a friend. But the thing was, everytime I asked him how to fix the problem, he never wanted to talk about it so how was I supposed to know?