Today, I had to pee in a cup. The cup almost overflowed. My first instinct was to drink some so it didn't spill. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to take a urine test. I drank a lot of water so that I wouldn't force it. When I got there, I had to pee really bad. The cup was too small and when I relieved my bladder, it was a jet that rebounded off of the cup and overflowed going all over my hands, clothes, toilet, and floor. FML
Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML
Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of piss all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML
Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML
Today, I really had to pee while babysitting. Normally this isn't a problem, except the kids were sleeping and going potty would wake them up right before their parents were due home. Desperate, I decided to pee in a cup in the kitchen and wash it down the sink. Their parents came home mid-stream. FML
Today, I purposefully spilt my 44oz. cup of water on myself at work, because spending the rest of the day in soaking wet pants was less embarrassing than letting people know I'd pissed myself. FML
Today, I had to get an ultrasound, which required me to drink 3 glasses of water beforehand. The doctor said I had too much and told me to go pee out just a little and come back. It took a lot of effort to hold the rest in. The first thing she did when I got back was press on my abdomen. I peed myself. FML
Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML
Today, I was being drug tested as part of a pre-employment policy for substitute teaching. Once I had peed in the cup enough to pass the line, I put it on the only available space: the toilet paper holder. Trying to get toilet paper, I knocked the cup over, spilling pee all over myself. FML
Today, I spent two hours trying to catch a urine sample whilst at urgent care due to my inability to pee in public restrooms. I finally managed one, and was so excited by my success that I fumbled it and spilled it on my pants. FML
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Top comments
MoidixMois43 21
What the ****
SexyCheeksIzKool 15
"Should I drink my own piss? No, but it's sterile and I like the taste." ~ Dodgeball
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Comments (76)
vikky538 29
You instincts are too strong and too fast to control!
ragnarok1540 39
Hopefully it wasn't sweet ... otherwise you might need to be evaluated for diabetes.
TheNewGuy03 29
This might be the most embarrassing way to find out you have the 'Beetus. Doctor: Why do you think you have diabetes? OP: Well, I was peeing in a cup, and I, um, accidentally drank it... Doctor: [eyes OP suspiciously with Professor Snape "dafuq" face] Hmm, okay...
candyyycottonnn 5
my first thought here is.... who doesn't know not to take the cup away before you overflow it?
Brandi_Faith 34
And if for some reason is does get filled, just pour out the amount that you don't need into the toilet.
tonyfan00 38
Better drink my own piss!
Youtube_Troll 12
Oh god why........
tomvertigo 17
I have never had that issue and if I did that would likely be my dead last compulsion. If this was a drug test you pee in the cup, up to the line, finish in the toilet, DO NOT FLUSH, seal the container, wash hands, exit restroom. Without fail. You couldnt pinch the flow for three seconds to switch? Sounds like you are just making excuses to drink your own pee.
MathButt 17
Sorry if this is ignorant, but why do you not flush, #18?
ChristianH39 30
I was wondering that also.
Brandi_Faith 34
I have to do urine samples for the doctor all the time and you always flush. No one is coming to check your pee in the toilet. That's the point of going in the cup. I agree with everything you said up until that point. (Unless for drug tests someone checks the toilet to see it was actually your urine, but that doesn't even make sense and I've never heard of that before). I agree that it sounds like op wanted an excuse to drink her pee. Because that is not an "instinct."
Zebediabolical 45
I've been drug tested and I just fired the overflow into the urinal. No one, including the person who was observing me filling the sample cup, said a thing about it.
ChinchillaLady 27
Doing a urine sample for the doctors and for a drug test for work is two different things. Doctors aren't worried you are using someone else's pee. For drug test they are concerned about that because drug users try to hide their drug abuse I had to take drug test like that for school when I was taking classes at a hospital. It just makes sure the person is being honest.
tomvertigo 17
What #53 said. Work drug tests require you to not flush. They enter the room, verify there is nothing awry going on and then flush. Every. Time. Nedical, checking for different gealth issues, that's different.
CheekyRaccoon 27
No way, I don't believe you, you're taking the piss mate.
bananassin 25
Ok, seriously, what the ****?
tarlax 11
Why are people assuming he actually drank it?
pink_raindrops 26
Why would it be an FML moment if they didn't?
tarlax 11
I'm not saying it's a big FML, but it easily falls under the app's definition of one. Besides, unless he was somehow pissing into the cup while simultaneously holding said cup right up next to his mouth, there's no way he could possibly have accidentally drunk it. And even if he did, he would've spilled it in the process. I'm beyond amazed that anyone here is actually reading it that way.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
I'm sorry, but how is that your first instinct? The cup isn't anywhere close to your mouth to begin with.