Today, I had a job interview with a man that I got drunk with at a bar on Saturday night. He spent an hour telling me things I did that I don't even remember. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked into a job interview, then turned round and walked back out again. The interviewer was a one-night stand that ended very badly months ago, and she remembered me. I could see in her face the interview was pointless, so instead of grovelling I went to the pub to drown my sorrows. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally proposed to me. He was drunk and won't remember any of this tomorrow. FML
Today, I went on a first date. He got so drunk he forgot what he ordered to eat ten minutes after ordering. He also had to text me later to ask if we kissed, because he couldn’t remember. FML
Today, I started my new job. Only after I met my new boss did I realise I've met him before. He was at my friend's party last month, the only time in my life when I got so wasted that I danced on a table before puking on myself. He remembers me, too. FML
Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML
Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML
Today, the person that interviewed me for a job was the same person I called a "fat bitch" at a baseball game after she knocked over my drink while she was dancing. She recognized me too. FML
Today, I woke up with a massive hangover after passing out at a wild party the night before. Apparently my friends couldn't find a marker, because I woke up with dozens of dicks drawn on my body and face in henna. I have a job interview today. FML
Today, I had an interview for my dream job. Things were going well, the lady was about to offer me the job, but then I got the hiccups. She immediately changed her tone and said, “Yeah, I think we’re done here. Next time, don’t show up to a job interview drunk.” I had no alcohol in my system. FML
Today, I had a job interview that I had spent hours preparing for it. When I arrived, the interviewer told me the position had been filled already and they forgot to notify me. I wasted a whole fucking day for nothing. FML
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Top comments
Spazz420 7
Well did u get the job?
thebaddayblues 3
Offer to buy him another drink after?
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Comments (44)
KLeePrice 11
Doesn't sound to bad. He was out drinking too and you obviously got along.
gracehi 33
Maybe you guys became buddies and you'll get the job anyway. :)
bach2121 13
Oh boy.
davinlambert 5
Hangover 3
HowieDoIt 21
I already made a lame joke very similar to yours, it's currently being buried. Run while you can, sir!
chuckcloninger 12
Well if he got a job Saturday it's only fair that he give you one Monday? Or does he not play the game that way?
Axel5238 29
YDI, getting that drunk at the bar was a bad idea and you just happen to be that drunk around your future interviewer. In general don't get black out drunk at a bar.
SWC_Penguin 17
I've seen my wife get so drunk she can barely stand up and can't stop laughing or crying all night. And even THEN she can re-tell you every tiny detail the next morning. I can't even imagine how people get past that to the point where they can't remember things. How does one continue to drink once they reach the "can't stand up" phase?
mehwhocares 9
People are this thing called "different." What applies to one does not apply to another. Your wife may be able to remember everything she does while drunk, but not everyone has her genetic makeup and experiences, do they? Some people can remember, some people get to the point at which they can't.
Mifflicious 18
49 beat me this time! But as s/he says, people are different, and I can't see why anyone would think that everyone works the same, that's just ridiculous. I rarely forget things I do when I'm drunk. Or arleast I think so, I wouldn't know if I've forgotten something since I don't remember it. Anyway, my friend on the other hand, seems to forget really easily. When sober, my memory is ten times worse though. I should be drunk all the time.
SWC_Penguin 17
I realize people have different limits, but is it not imperative you learn your own personal limits? How on earth can people know that they're not drunk drivers, burglars, or rapists if they don't know how to stop before their personal limit? (Whatever amount that might be). I just don't understand that at all. They're literally putting their own lives at risk and the answer is "Well, I'm different than you!"?
verkaderk 9
To all those who say "shouldn't have gotten drunk YDI" yes, everyone should stay hidden in their house and never leave in fear that they might do something they regret and not get a job for it. You probably all sit in your mothers basement playing WOW and minecraft and eat Cheetos all day
corleon198425 22
Dumb ass
icepick23 12
Sexual occurrences?