Today, I had a job interview with a man that I got drunk with at a bar on Saturday night. He spent an hour telling me things I did that I don't even remember. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked into a job interview, then turned round and walked back out again. The interviewer was a one-night stand that ended very badly months ago, and she remembered me. I could see in her face the interview was pointless, so instead of grovelling I went to the pub to drown my sorrows. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally proposed to me. He was drunk and won't remember any of this tomorrow. FML
Today, I went on a first date. He got so drunk he forgot what he ordered to eat ten minutes after ordering. He also had to text me later to ask if we kissed, because he couldn’t remember. FML
Today, I started my new job. Only after I met my new boss did I realise I've met him before. He was at my friend's party last month, the only time in my life when I got so wasted that I danced on a table before puking on myself. He remembers me, too. FML
Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML
Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML
Today, the person that interviewed me for a job was the same person I called a "fat bitch" at a baseball game after she knocked over my drink while she was dancing. She recognized me too. FML
Today, I woke up with a massive hangover after passing out at a wild party the night before. Apparently my friends couldn't find a marker, because I woke up with dozens of dicks drawn on my body and face in henna. I have a job interview today. FML
Today, I had an interview for my dream job. Things were going well, the lady was about to offer me the job, but then I got the hiccups. She immediately changed her tone and said, “Yeah, I think we’re done here. Next time, don’t show up to a job interview drunk.” I had no alcohol in my system. FML
Today, I had a job interview that I had spent hours preparing for it. When I arrived, the interviewer told me the position had been filled already and they forgot to notify me. I wasted a whole fucking day for nothing. FML
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Top comments
Spazz420 7
Well did u get the job?
thebaddayblues 3
Offer to buy him another drink after?
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Comments (44)
TheyCallMeDamien 18
You might want to ease down on the booze. At least he knows you're not a stick in the mud.
jlynpa 10
Unless shots were exchanged off your navel I'd say you're still in the running!
jlynpa 10
Unless shots were exchanged off your navel I'd say you still have a chance ;)
c4rpi0 20
Maybe he's just making it up?
OnPlanetVenus 4
And how is this an example of your life sucking...?
nikolkaw 9
You just got yourself the job...maybe even a promotion.
TheKillerWalrus 10
I'm sure you can find a video on YouTube. That's where all embarrassing stuff appears.
AlexiAwesome 10
Awkward moment when your boss is your one night stand
mmaflake 19
No sympathy for any of the people who have something terrible happen when/because they were drunk.
Kaizoku_fml 6
If you drink until you black out, you can pretty much blame only yourself for anything that happens as a consequence. Drunks get no sympathy from me.