By Hunterxx - United States Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML I agree, your life sucks 39614 You deserved it 7198 140 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Postdotfuzz - United States Today, our midterm exams were returned in my urban politics class. I had studied hard and scored 86%. The blonde girl next to me got a 92. Earlier in the semester she had asked me what state Detroit was in. FML I agree, your life sucks 33515 You deserved it 9130 304 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By coveredupforfun - Canada - Ottawa Today, I saw my co-worker write about how awful Muslims were and how the religion is stupid, the hijab is oppressive, and how they're a poison on society. When I questioned them about it, they pretty much said that I didn't know anything and should stop talking. I'm Muslim and a hijabi. FML I agree, your life sucks 36909 You deserved it 6150 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I got my very first paycheck of $129 for over 40 hours of work. I got paid roughly $3.00 an hour. Alaska minimum is $9.50 per hour, and my HR office is refusing to answer my calls. FML I agree, your life sucks 2973 You deserved it 158 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML I agree, your life sucks 46878 You deserved it 3232 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Yeah-It's-Just-Me - Australia - Hornsby Today, I had numerous calls from people saying they need a baby sitter, because "they know I wasn't invited anywhere". FML I agree, your life sucks 32235 You deserved it 2654 37 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By idiot - 28/6/2020 08:07 Double trouble Today, I was sitting on my bike texting when someone snatched my phone and ran. Like an idiot, I jumped off my bike and ran after him. He then ran in a big circle, got on my bike and sped off. FML I agree, your life sucks 1119 You deserved it 1528 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By aherdofpigs - United States Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML I agree, your life sucks 50009 You deserved it 21023 189 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Bill Harrison - United States Today, I had a completely normal work day. Other than the fact that my boss dressed up like the lead singer from KISS and hit us with a foam sword at random. My boss is 49. FML I agree, your life sucks 32348 You deserved it 6720 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Henderson Today, I decided to take a relaxing shower. My face mask made my face break out in hives. While exfoliating, my nipples became chafed. Then I slipped and cut myself while shaving. FML I agree, your life sucks 2606 You deserved it 324 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By pickle Ouch! Today, I applied mascara directly onto my eyeball. FML I agree, your life sucks 1137 You deserved it 509 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tony456 - United States Today, my girlfriend and I were making out while she was laying on me. Her little brother walked in, saw us and yelled, "Mom they're swallowing each other!" FML I agree, your life sucks 32583 You deserved it 24506 252 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, marks the fourth straight night that my girlfriend has screamed and cried in fear, scratching and kicking me in her sleep. The reason? I took her to see Paranormal Activity 3. FML I agree, your life sucks 17916 You deserved it 51139 272 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bbbbb - United States - Woodbridge Today, I slipped on a crayon a little girl threw on the floor, causing me to drop the tray of water I was carrying, making me spill it all over her. After getting cussed out by her mom, I was fired for making a customer unhappy. FML I agree, your life sucks 28191 You deserved it 1880 75 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ScottishSteak Scotland and its leccy bills Today, I went to my local supermarket to get my electricity topped up. Problem is, 2 of the 3 cash machines weren't working. The third was, until I tried to withdraw cash, then nope. The supermarket only accepts cash for meter top ups. FML I agree, your life sucks 1245 You deserved it 96 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mrsimintrouble - United States - Redding Today, my first day on the job, I locked up the office after everyone left and set the alarm. An hour later, my new boss angrily emailed me that I locked him inside the building, setting off the alarm and prompting the entire police department to show up. FML I agree, your life sucks 16665 You deserved it 2338 45 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By broke bitch - United States - Hampton Today, I got a call from my cable company in regards to a bill I didn't pay. I paid the bill two weeks ago in full, but they never told me the account changed when my name was put on the account. So now I owe $170 more, and my ex-roommate is getting a $140 refund in the mail. FML I agree, your life sucks 26389 You deserved it 2312 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Salliemae - United States - Manchester Today, my boyfriend took my car on a 3-day vacation, stranding me in our extremely rural town. I have a box of ziti, a jar of expired pickles, no cable or Netflix, and no water since the well ran dry. Why am I here? "Someone needs to stay with the dog and feed the cows." FML I agree, your life sucks 2818 You deserved it 368 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 25/6/2020 20:00 Empathy Today, my best friend rang me to complain about having to pay childcare fees when she's still working from home. She doesn't understand why I couldn't sympathize with what she was going through. Clearly she forgot I'm a childcare worker who would like to be paid for the work I do. FML I agree, your life sucks 1559 You deserved it 149 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hes - United States Today, I called my dad to let him know some details for my wedding had changed. It would have been really nice if he had paused the porno I could clearly hear in the background. FML I agree, your life sucks 52237 You deserved it 4372 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I had to walk home in the rain because my mom didn't want to get her new car wet. FML I agree, your life sucks 62046 You deserved it 4025 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Awkward - United States - Albuquerque Today, I was caller number nine on the radio, meaning I technically won the contest. I was too awkward, so they hung up on me. FML I agree, your life sucks 20686 You deserved it 4609 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States - Garden Grove Today, at work, the girl I've been into for the past 6 months confessed that she liked me, but also confessed she had sex with our boss. Our boss happens to be my dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 29541 You deserved it 1821 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By spinspinsugar - 24/2/2021 14:01 - United States - Camillus Bodyshaming ain't cool Today, I was video chatting with my dad. He handed the phone to his wife, whose first words out of her mouth were, "Why are you getting so skinny?" This was also the same woman whose first words out of her mouth when they came to visit us 3 years ago was how much weight I've gained. FML I agree, your life sucks 760 You deserved it 68 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By S3R1AL K1LL3R X - United States Today, in my college class, our teacher asked us what we wanted to do when we get out of college. I guess being a U.S. Marine gets you a lecture for the whole class to hear that I'm a war hungry pig, and should get a real job that requires a brain. My job field is Aircraft repair. FML I agree, your life sucks 38258 You deserved it 4471 129 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I bought an electric toothbrush because they're supposed to be a lot healthier than regular ones. My crazy religious mom immediately called me a whore and said she knew what I really wanted to use it for. So that's $80 in the trash. FML I agree, your life sucks 32405 You deserved it 2815 136 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Michelle - United States Today, I woke up feeling extremely nauseous. When I started to feel better, I felt like I needed to spit. I went into the bathroom and opened the toilet to see someone had taken a giant crap the night before and forgotten to flush. The smell made me vomit all over my feet. FML I agree, your life sucks 30587 You deserved it 3422 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Josie Stiger - 19/3/2020 05:00 Denied Today, I wrote out a note to the guy I liked. I went to hand it to him, but he said, "Sorry, that's not mine," and walked away. I was so nervous, I couldn't speak. FML I agree, your life sucks 1462 You deserved it 252 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By notjustfat - United States Today, my boyfriend said he was no longer sexually attracted to me. He then followed that with, "But don't worry, it's not because you're fat." FML I agree, your life sucks 22554 You deserved it 2306 54 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 15/3/2020 18:07 Alexa, play "Mr Loverman" by Shabba Ranks Today, I was at a store when I saw a cute girl from my school. Trying to act cool, I went to hold the door for her. Too bad it was an automatic door. FML I agree, your life sucks 773 You deserved it 1008 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Omaha Today, my boyfriend convinced me do an Insanity workout with him. I passed out during the warmup. FML I agree, your life sucks 49926 You deserved it 12818 102 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By John jacob - United States Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML I agree, your life sucks 54422 You deserved it 6173 505 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - San Diego Today, my co-worker spent the afternoon taking online personality quizzes and messaging everyone the results. She was particularly proud of one which told her she was a hard-working overachiever. My boss walked by just as the message for that one popped up and I got in trouble for slacking off. FML I agree, your life sucks 32324 You deserved it 2907 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Dezzmond68 - Canada - Aylmer Today, I got in trouble at work because the person whom I trained, and had done everything correctly with no mistakes and said he was comfortable being on his own when I asked, was screwing it all up over the course of 6 weeks. When I asked him, he said, "I think my way's better than yours." FML I agree, your life sucks 11833 You deserved it 862 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ouch Getting a head start on the Halloween look Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML I agree, your life sucks 1380 You deserved it 164 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Fartnonymous - Qatar - Doha Today, it's been a week since I started farting in my sleep for no apparent reason. It's so frequent and so foul-smelling that my husband and I are both losing sleep and are having to take afternoon naps to make up for it. FML I agree, your life sucks 22579 You deserved it 2642 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Superdumb Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about sex and I asked him if he had ever finished inside a woman. He looked directly into my eyes and said, "Babe... I have a son, remember?" Yeah, I forgot. FML I agree, your life sucks 1671 You deserved it 4910 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Beva - Sweden - Falk?ping Today, due to technical problems, I had to call the company's IT-support as my computer went totally haywire. I explained via phone that I couldn't access anything. The support then tried contacting me by e-mail and got upset with me when I didn't answer. FML I agree, your life sucks 32988 You deserved it 2387 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Snuffles Today, while eating a BLT sandwich, I unexpectedly sneezed a lump of bacon up the back of my nose. It has just taken 6 hours of unpleasantness to snort the lump back out. Not how I wanted to spend my day off. FML I agree, your life sucks 1851 You deserved it 210 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my friends and I went to the beach and we were tanning when I suddenly saw 10 roses floating in the ocean. I went around to pick up all the roses and threw the petals at my friends. Then I notice a big boat of people in black and white were looking at me with disgust. It was a funeral. FML I agree, your life sucks 18342 You deserved it 53596 140 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By BlueEyedWonder | 7 #7698088 - Sunday 23 September 2018 20:08 paw-attention to me Send a private message 1 3 Reply
By Charlie Given | 23 #7698102 - Sunday 23 September 2018 20:29 That's one perrsistent kitten đ Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By BlueEyedWonder | 7 #7698088 - Sunday 23 September 2018 20:08 paw-attention to me Send a private message 1 3 Reply
By Charlie Given | 23 #7698102 - Sunday 23 September 2018 20:29 That's one perrsistent kitten đ Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Today, I finally got pulled into a threesome with the girl I've loved for years and another friend. She led the interaction with, "You only get to touch... I agree, your life sucks 66 You deserved it 8 0 Comments
Today, my boyfriend is once again mad at me because I refused to have shower sex with him. Iâm too embarrassed to explain to him that ever since I could... I agree, your life sucks 361 You deserved it 85 6 Comments