Today, I got a call about my dog who went missing a week ago. The guy who called said "We have your dog, but you aren't getting her back." Then he hung up. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went on a run with the family dog. I returned home to three missed calls and a hysterical voicemail from my dad. Why? The dog was gone. Not me, his 15 year-old daughter, the dog. FML
Today, I lost my phone. I called the number from my friend's phone, hoping I could find it. A guy answered, laughed "Thanks for the phone!" and hung up. FML
Today, I went to pick up my dog from a friend's place since she agreed to watch him while I went out of state for Spring Break. I arrived at her apartment. She’s gone and the apartment was vacated. She won’t answer her phone or texts, and vanished from all social media. I’m still making payments on the dog. FML
Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML
Today, my fiancé and I broke up, and he won't answer my calls or texts. I don't want him back; he has my dog. FML
Today, my dog ran away. Luckily my neighbors caught him before he got too far. Now they won't give him back because they think I did something to him to make him want to run away. FML
Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I asked my neighbor if she saw what happened, I saw my dog sleeping on her couch. She tried to say it was hers. FML
Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away. FML
Today I adopted a dog. He ran away the same day. FML
Today, I searched our neighborhood for our lost dog. After screaming at the top of our lungs, driving around in circles, and asking strangers, we realized we took him to the groomers this morning. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was." You can either swallow that namby-pamby bullshit, or go house-to-house with a baseball bat until you find your dog and beat the shit out of Cruella DeVil and her henchmen.
zebrapattern 6
*69, figure out what the number is, then look up an address, and bring the police with you so they have to give it back. but take some proof that the dog's yours with you, as well.
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Comments (132)
perdix 31
"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was." You can either swallow that namby-pamby bullshit, or go house-to-house with a baseball bat until you find your dog and beat the shit out of Cruella DeVil and her henchmen.
OnlyAvailableID 28
"That kid was stupid. If he loved that dog so much, why did he sit on his ass waiting for it to come to him. What he should've done was get off his ass and find that ******* dog!"
alwaysandforever_fml_fml 0
I agree. Someone needs an ass kickin!
smashgrab 0
17 - Win! I loved Billy Madison!
Kachi1293 0
LOL 17
Zmeilerr 22
Billy Madison FTW
bindee2211 2
exacly thankyou!
x_missystaceey 0
LOL ! That's funny ! HAHAH
DocBastard 40
It's a damn shame there's no way to ID the Caller...that the Caller's ID can't be traced...that... Goddammit, ******* Caller ID, you twit!! Use it!
smileycyrus 0
if the dognapper had half a brain they would have blocked the phone number.
tencentsakiss 19
Actually, if they had half a brain, they would never have called and informed OP that their dog had been stolen. Therefore, we must assume that they are incapable of a thought process sophisticated enough to have thought it necessary to block the number. Also if it was from a blocked number, I feel like OP would have written that, as it contributes to the FML.
theonlysweetpea 10
It seems #14
darkmis1 18
*69 to figure out the number and address, call the cops, and bring proof that the dog is yours. They'll have to give him back. Also, if you love your dog so much, why are you on FML complaining about it. Shouldn't you be doing something?
cdude200 10
time to go dog stealer hunting
Doortje 30
I used to call the number on "my pet is missing"-flyers when I was younger, and told the people I ate their pet or murdered it. [/shame on me :( ]
tencentsakiss 19
...soooo you're a serial killer now right?
ROFLBERRYPIE 0
Way to protect doggie. Now it's some perv's sex slave :(
Petawhitney 2
Sucky. Get law enforcement and/or the local news station(s) on it. You'll get results. Though, shame on you for allowing the means necessary for your dog to "go missing" in the first place.
slickrasta 1
WTF? Sucks to be you OP.