By anikah - 01/06/2014 21:53 - United States - Natchitoches

Today, I gave up trying to make any friends at my job as a firefighter. I'm the lone female, and am the subject of gossip with the older men. Anyone I try to befriend ends up hitting on me, while others won't even talk to me because their wives are jealous. FML
I agree, your life sucks 53 759
You deserved it 5 616

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Look on the bright side! You must be attractive if coworkers hit on you or ignore you because of their wives.

I feel that pain OP! So many people are like "oh stop complaining that people like you." Well it's ****** difficult when you can't maintain any real friends. Sorry OP :(

Comments

If u were swedish U wouldnt have that problem

And you know this as a Swedish man I assume?

That will only lead to inappropriate such as "can I watch" "can I join" sadly even that won't stop them. Sometimes a has to claim she has a relationship with another man cause too many men respect another man's claim on a woman more than the woman's genuine disinterest. Also people should never assume that just cause someone is straight/gay/bi etc that they will automatically like anyone of that gender. Standards go beyond what lies between the legs for pretty much everyone

to be a firefighter you must be a strong, clever woman. still the wives shouldn't be jealous.

OP, As a female firefighter up in NY, I Can totally relate to this. Unfortunately you really need to make yourself 'genderless' and they need to view you as one of the guys, and that can be very difficult and it takes a long time. This is a career where teamwork is extremely important and you need to be tight knit, and if the wives do not understand that---its not your issue, and it won't be your issue as long as you don't sleep with any of these guys! Don't get discouraged dear, the mentality will change with time, and if it doesn't you can always move departments. Keep working hard, sister!

Just cause you view yourself as gender less doesn't mean other will sadly. And from the sound of it OP is very willing to be a team player, but it takes two to tango you know?

igiveup26 2

We are in the exact same situation. The chief has now told me I cannot pull shift on certain shifts because of untrue rumors.

As a firefighters wife, I do not get jealous of female firefighters that he works with. I do however worry that a female can not lift a 200 pound man if their life depends on it. Maybe you can, maybe you can't. I don't know you, but I think your assumption is highly self centered. Either they hit on you or their wives are jealous, get a grip.

Whatever. In my husband's station everyone passes the same physical test, it was that way in his volunteer station too. Firefighting is not a profession where they actively try to recruit women by giving them perks, and I'm sorry but the women are given hell. They go in and everyone already has the same lame ass assumption as you, that no woman could possibly be capable of doing the job. We hardly need the women outside the firehouse making it even worse.. I wouldn't say any of her "assumption" is off base in the slightest, every firefighter/EMT woman I know has gone through exactly the same thing.

rachangie 19

Unfortunately this is an issue in most workplaces. The issue isn't just the men but also women, the fact that they're afraid that their wives will be jealous is ridiculous. Their wives shouldn't be jealous that they work with a woman, instead they should feel empowered that a woman can make it in a traditionally male environment. Congrats to you OP and hang in there, eventually I'm sure they'll come to respect you and maybe even be able to be friends.