Miscellaneous: Today, I found that there is nothing worse than coming home to...

By Tim - 07/08/2011 02:49 - United States

Today, I found that there is nothing worse than coming home to a snake slithering across your kitchen floor. Except when it disappears into your cabinets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 722

You deserved it 3 357

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Same thing different taste

Lurker

By Katie - 20/02/2011 08:35 - Reserved

Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 064

You deserved it 3 101

Snek

By afraidtosleep - 13/10/2012 06:35 - United States - Houston

Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 968

You deserved it 6 324

Psssssych!

By Welcome to Florida - 20/07/2017 13:01

Today, my son's glasses were missing. My bathroom is not well lit, but I noticed something sticking out from under the toilet seat. I excitedly grabbed it, thinking I saw the band of the glasses. Nope, it was a snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 330

You deserved it 535

By seriousdubsteplover - 30/10/2009 05:08 - Australia

Today, when going to fill up the kettle, I noticed a bad smell and pieces of something coming out of the tap. Turns out there was a dead snake in my water supply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 671

You deserved it 2 166

By Anonymous - 03/06/2015 01:34 - United States - West Chester

Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already washed and dried it with the laundry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 419

You deserved it 4 335

By Anonymous - 28/03/2011 18:52 - Macedonia

Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 781

You deserved it 6 878

Not on a plane

By Surewhatever - 16/10/2019 14:01

Today, when I warned my guests to check the toilet for snakes, I meant it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 456

You deserved it 131

Sneeeeek!

By blindsparrow - 18/11/2014 05:35 - United States - Dublin

Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 384

You deserved it 2 944

By Anonymous - 05/08/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 225

You deserved it 45 465

Thanksssss

By Mojosahomo - 10/01/2018 17:30 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my cat decided to show me just how much he loves me by bringing a live snake into my bedroom. Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 158

You deserved it 603

slitherbomb 0

Sunday 7 August 2011 9:06

At least it wasn't a naked man slithering across your kitchen floor…

cbaidchris 6

Sunday 7 August 2011 9:06

Snaaaaake, snaaaaaake, ohhhhh itttssss aaa snaaaaake...

Comments

liveyjones 0

Monday 8 August 2011 20:23

call animal control and move lol

Cyacide 4

Monday 8 August 2011 20:27

Hey kids, want some spagetti? OH GOD!

ferretslayer 2

Tuesday 9 August 2011 1:48

Oh for gods sake its just a snake grow a pair and deal with it.

chugs69 5

Wednesday 10 August 2011 17:25

I hate snakes more than anything. I like Justin beiber better than I like snakes. And I hate him so much.

Friaza 29

Wednesday 10 August 2011 17:50

Come to Scotland, we don't have snakes here lol.

MissyBoo13 0

Friday 12 August 2011 8:19

ewww snakes are the worst... I would of cried.

torilovesyou 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 7:54

Ima snake!!

fuckkyeaaaalaura 12

Tuesday 23 August 2011 20:24

eww , Why was there even a snake in your kitchen anyways ?

Looby_doo 0

Saturday 31 December 2011 18:38

Call billy the exterminator

hardestever 0

Thursday 12 January 2012 5:05

Imma snake!! Imma slithery sneaky snake! Look at my tongue lulul snake guy on tosh.0

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 250

You deserved it 7 781

Today, I get to add spaghetti sauce to my rather extensive list of things that don't belong in a person's eye but that end up in mine anyway. Other items include molten cheese, rock salt, orange juice, chips of nail polish, cotton fibers, and firework ash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 112

You deserved it 5 027

The Top

Today, my boyfriend, of a year, got drunk and called me flat chested then said the reason he won't have sex with me anymore is because he is "used" to me. He said all of this in front of his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 400

You deserved it 2 918

Today, the boy that I met online six months ago and expressed my love to sent me a picture of himself and confessed how old he really was: thirteen. I'm eighteen years old and holding a steady job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 248

You deserved it 8 281

Today, while getting off the bus, there was a lady in front of me wearing a dress and suddenly her phone dropped out of her bag. I picked up the phone for her which landed right beneath her dress and as she turned around she thought I was trying to take pictures of her panties and slapped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 924

You deserved it 4 683

Today, I found a video of a school play I starred in years ago. I was ecstatic, because it's really the only memento of my childhood I have left. Unfortunately, it started with my grandpa groaning, "Ahh shit," and degenerated into him muttering over the audio about "those fucking commies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 174

You deserved it 2 013

Today, I explained to my boyfriend that I want to get my tubes tied, because I don’t want kids and can’t stand the fear of getting pregnant by accident, despite contraception, which has happened before. He summarized: “So, the main point is to preserve your fertility, right?” Wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 776

You deserved it 294

Today, I found a camera someone left at our house. I looked at the pictures, and saw my grandma in a sexy outfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 693

You deserved it 5 784