By assholecat - 10/10/2012 08:43 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 599
You deserved it 5 461

assholecat tells us more.

Hey y'all, this is OP. In regards to my post: The elderly lady is a very close family friend of my family who still lives by herself but is being taken care of by her family. She's a lovely lady, really. I'm not worried about her stealing my cat - her dead cat and my cat look very similar. If he's bringing her joy - great! She and kitty can hang as much as they want! To the people who seemed to hint at me not feeding my cat... if you ever saw him, you would know that he is probably the best fed cat in the whole world. He is enormous. I have perfectly good food for him to eat - which I would feed him if he turned up for meal times. I don't feed him whenever he's hungry because he's a big ol' fat cat and I don't want him getting any fatter. (He won't be getting breakfast from me anymore - when I found out that my neighbour was lovingly feeding my kitty for me in place of her own, I went and brought her some cat food.) In regards to the "your cat is an opportunist! That's what cats are!" comments - no argument from me. As far as "don't call your cat an asshole!" comments go... my cat is an asshole: he methodically waits by her door every single morning at the same time that she routinely feeds her own cat, even though he knows (I'm sure he does, simply because the other cat isn't there) that her cat is no longer with us. My cat is both an opportunist and an asshole. And no, I don't believe that my cat can understand me when I call him an asshole. Anywho, that's it. I'm out. Peace!

Top comments

Man - You should know better. There's NO way to shut the idiots up. You're assuming they will 1) read this, 2) comprehend it, and 3) care.

Comments

devore504 7

all cats are assholes and useless

They're not useless. They're entertaining! They do the weirdest shit! And sometimes (if you have a good bond) they protect the house by attacking anyone who isn't you!

catanita 18

The cat is simply a cat. Is probably the most opportunistic animal that ever existed. If the entire neighbourhood puts out food the cat will eat from all of them until is fed up. It can not go to the fridge to get some food when it feels hungry so that is whay it will take every chance it got to eat no matter from where.

olpally 32

Your pussy out smarted your pussy...lol

olpally 32

Never mind, that was a stupid comment... Commenting at 5:30am wasn't such a good idea... :/ your cat is truly an asshole... Lol.. Troll cat strikes again!

I wouldn't say "asshole", I would say "opportunist".

Bluejaywilde 10
mimi809o 21

kitty's...becoming smarter than humans

perdix 29

Cats are not known for being doggedly loyal.

Hence the reason, when my uncle took in a stray cat, he named it Mooch.

That is hilarious! I might have to name my next cat mooch XD