Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML
Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we'd ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 year-old to run to the store. She didn't want to, but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she'd made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML
Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML
Today, my son tried my great-grandad's 90 year-old whiskey, didn’t like it, and poured it all down the sink. When I confronted him, he confidently told me it was nasty and must have expired, so he did me a favour and poured it away and washed the bottle. I had to walk away and remind myself I love him. FML
Today, I noticed that my 80-year-old mother has gone through 50+ bottles of my home-made wine. She only moved in with me a month ago. And now I have no wine. FML
Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML
Today, my 17 year old asked me whether to chew or swallow grapes. I raised this dumbass. FML
Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whisky, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML
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Top comments
littlem91 29
He's going to make a great college student one day.
benimin 6
God bless America...
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Comments (92)
Life_is_FML 22
Oh how silly. Everyone knows you need grape concentrate to store and turn it in to wine. (Sarcasm)
littlem91 29
If you have to add a sarcasm label, your comment is probably not that good.
misspulkadot24 17
Everyone knows you have to step on the grapes first like in I Love Lucy. Duhhhh.
perdix 29
Stupid kid. Doesn't he know that he needs to keep it in the toilet, just like they do in prison?
ManInTheMachine 19
Sounds like something HowToBasic would do.
Welshite 39
I learn all my cooking techniques from HowToBasic. I guess that's why I never have repeat dinner guests.
BrandiLush 31
Actually, they put fruit with rubbing alcohol in a bottle and leave it in the shower to ferment. It is called hooch and smells very potent. I confiscated quite a bit of it when I worked in prison after I got in a fight with a drunk inmate.
graceinsheepwear 33
That's also why they won't let you keep more than a couple slices of bread in your cell. It can be used in making alcohol.
BrandiLush 31
Those guys could make alcohol out of anything! I also saw some pretty impressive electrical work!
flockz 19
i learn how to feed and take care of my baby with HowToBasic as well. maybe that's why i wrote this comment from my prison cell.
graceinsheepwear 33
36, that would be believable except we know you'd have to shank your cellie for a turn at the MacBook.
Soloman212 28
*flockz silently stares at his blood drenched hands while leaning against the cold walls of solitary confinement.* "Worth it."
flockz 19
more like egg drenched hands.
graceinsheepwear 33
Only if your cellie is Humpty Dumpty.
ManInTheMachine 19
Grace- If you've seen HowToBasic's videos, you'd know that he has a mildly unhealthy egg-smashing fetish. Hence flockz's comment.
graceinsheepwear 33
And if you'd ever been in jail, you'd know you can't shank someone with an egg! Seriously though, thanks for bringing me up to speed on the comment, and all without insulting me. Plays well with others. *gold star.
ManInTheMachine 19
No worries. I only insult people who make blatantly idiotic/ignorant comments and have no business being on this site. From the comments that I've seen you post, you check out. ;)
ManInTheMachine 19
Next he'll be picking and drying tree leaves to try and make marijuana. I say you put it back and pretend you didn't see it. It's pretty obvious he was doing it with the purpose to either A. Sell it for a profit or B. (The more likely option), to make alcohol for his consumption. In the case of B. feigning ignorance would allow you to see what kind of stupid shit he'd dry to get away with when he's "drunk". Oh, and make sure you record it for our entertainment. ;)
ashleytianarose 13
I hope you guys like grape juice..
youloveBC 14
I like his creativity
MissWhitneyB 17
You must be so proud ..
BlackNinja787 6
If he had some yeast to speed up the fermentation, he probably could have actually done it.
olpally 32
Creative or just stupid... I'm going with the latter... Just take some and mix vodka with it for your self! :)
BubbleGrunge 18
If only it were that easy....
ShadowNinja445 12
Actually it is.. All he would have had to do is add yeast to it.