Miscellaneous: Today, I found out my landlord is too cheap to turn up the hot...

By frigid - 12/10/2011 01:05

Today, I found out my landlord is too cheap to turn up the hot water tank enough to have a comfortable shower. There's a huge padlock on the door, she won't budge, and I'm signed in until December. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 913

You deserved it 2 322

Miscellaneous

This Charming Man

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

The smell detective is on the case

By Anonymous - 03/02/2013 02:47 - United States - New Haven

Today, the new manager at my workplace left early in a panic, exclaiming, "My grandma had an accident! I need to see if she's okay!" I was left in charge of the bar once again. This is the sixth time this week his grandma has had an "accident". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 095

You deserved it 2 645

By crossfitter - 21/05/2015 12:22

Today, I decided to get in shape for swimsuit season, so I went to the gym. I tried to lift a barbell up and over my head, which was fine, until I dropped it. Exercise earned me a concussion and a neck brace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 212

You deserved it 11 464

By Anonymous - 21/11/2014 00:43 - United States

Today, I dropped my trash into what I thought was a garbage can. My co-workers stared at me like I had just pissed myself. It was a toy collection box for children in foster care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 869

You deserved it 10 839

Living his best life

By shotdown - 02/12/2015 20:45 - United States - San Francisco

Today, after being sick all day with the flu, I asked my husband to wash the dishes after I went to bed. He said he couldn't because he had a large, important project for work that needed to get done. I woke up a couple of hours later to find him smoking weed on the couch and watching cartoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 734

You deserved it 2 394

By UghNo - 14/02/2017 06:00 - United States - Clarkston

Today, my first client as a freelancer screamed at me and threw a notebook at my head. I quit my job to become a freelancer because my boss would often scream and throw things at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 372

You deserved it 574

Good boy

By akasoor - 11/02/2013 01:51 - Canada - Hythe

Today, I went to the local pet store to purchase a large dog bed so my dog wouldn't sleep in mine. After I got home and set up her bed, I realized I forgot to buy dog treats. When I came home again, her new bed was torn to shreds, and she was still sleeping on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 249

You deserved it 5 932

Apparently not.

By Dez - 26/11/2017 19:00 - United States - Anchorage

Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend texted me asking, “We are in an open relationship, right?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 034

You deserved it 399

By damn... - 28/10/2008 08:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a job conference. At lunch, I saw this stunning guy. At dessert time, I coughed so much that the piece of chocolate cake in my mouth went straight onto his glasses. I think it's too late to introduce myself now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 646

You deserved it 6 233

By Anonymoose - 25/12/2011 11:39 - Switzerland

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 610

You deserved it 55 374

By Anonymous - 16/05/2009 20:05 - United States

Today, I got home from college. Since I haven't seen my parents in almost a year I sorta expected them to come meet me/pick me up at the airport. Nope. What did I get instead? A text from my dad saying, "I hope you have a key." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 222

You deserved it 3 428

By Sam Stuhlinger - 03/01/2019 20:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my friend with benefits that I was starting to like forgot my name in front of his friends when they asked who I was. We've known each other for at least a year. I think this means I'm just a benefit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 418

You deserved it 805

By Anonymous - 16/03/2014 03:46 - United States - Lafayette

Today, I was walking and saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realize a kid was laying them out in a trail. I had collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 704

You deserved it 21 854

By ow - 13/06/2011 05:39 - United States

Today, I was home alone in my apartment. I tripped over my dresser and fell and sprained my ankle. As I was laying there in agonizing pain, my downstairs neighbor shouted at me to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 942

You deserved it 4 752

By Letteh - 19/05/2017 00:00

Today, my boyfriend transferred some money to me online. He put a joke reference of "Anal nice 'n cheap". We need to show a month-long bank statement to our mortgage broker tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 047

You deserved it 517

By fuckthat - 18/02/2009 05:08 - United States

Today, my grandmother called. She greeted me by my mother's name. When I told her it was not my mother, she apologized and corrected herself, but this time she addressed me as my sister. When I told her it was not my sister either, she said "Sorry, wrong number" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 438

You deserved it 3 320

By gmnesbitt - 07/12/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, it was my first time as a hockey referee, for a game played by 7-year-olds. At one point, a little boy tripped another boy. Doing my job, I gave him 2 minutes in the penalty box. After the game, I was attacked by a mob of parents. I was even given an optometrist's business card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 933

You deserved it 2 552

By LovelessNewlywed - 14/12/2016 22:41

Today, for the first time since my partner moved in with me, I did one of my favourite things: I bought some nice cheese and a bottle of wine and went on to People of Walmart, just as I do every month or so. He called me a disgusting human being and went for a walk two hours ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 092

You deserved it 2 034

By wastedbaby - 04/07/2011 02:02 - United States

Today, I was watching a home video of when my mom was pregnant with me. She had a beer in her hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 667

You deserved it 3 751

Desperate nan

By Anonymous - 10/05/2009 04:18 - United States

Today, I graduated from college with two undergrad degrees in biochem and wildlife biology, with high distinction. My mom told me she had found me a job at a petting zoo. I thought she was joking. She then said sternly, "I want grandkids. At least you will meet girls there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 229

You deserved it 3 543

Not what you think

By WhataStrangeTripThisIs - 03/06/2021 11:01

Today, I got an unexpected call from my ex who I'd had been missing. He repeatedly called me a whore for having multiple hotel rooms in the last couple of weeks. I had them because I got a promotion at work and have been working out of town frequently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 95

By not cool - 28/06/2013 05:16 - Australia - Sunnybank

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 723

You deserved it 3 167

By Anonymous - 25/10/2014 01:23 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my husband told me he cheated on me two years ago with his ex-fiancée. In the process, he got her pregnant, but said it was okay, because she didn't keep it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 067

You deserved it 2 947

Unforgettable

By Anonymous - 13/11/2020 23:02

Today, I was mistaken for an employee at my grandmother's funeral. There were only twelve of us there, all family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 50

By chillyinside - 10/02/2013 05:03 - Canada

Today, my furnace broke down, almost a month after its twenty year warranty expired. It would have been replaced for free. Now I'm going to have to take out a loan to afford the $4,000 replacement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 474

You deserved it 2 700

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 03:19 - United States - Roanoke

Today, I walked in on the 13 year-old boy I babysit masturbating while sniffing my jacket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 153

You deserved it 2 458

By carboat - 28/01/2009 09:24 - United States

Today, I woke up and I'm still in the Marine Corps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 332

You deserved it 44 644

By chickenlover - 27/08/2009 20:53 - United States

Today, I was driving past a farm that always has 4 chickens walking around outside. It always cheers me up to see them, but I couldn't find them. I wasn't watching the road so I didn't see when I ran over all 4 chickens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 737

You deserved it 54 615

By anonymous - 15/08/2010 13:12 - Netherlands

Today, I witnessed a series of nude old people cycling in the city. I was eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 882

You deserved it 5 331

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 17:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I bleached my hair. Not only did it fry, it also has a very noticeable green tint and because of the damage, I can't dye it again for a while. Now I keep getting asked "Why so serious?" by my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 359

You deserved it 32 663

By Anonymous - 28/01/2017 02:00

Today, we found out the god-awful smell in our truck was actually coming from the whole uncooked chicken I thought the store forgot to ring up over 2 weeks ago. It had fallen out of the bag and under the passenger seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 869

You deserved it 1 865

By Whoops - 06/06/2011 01:44 - United States

Today, while driving with my three year old, I was showing her the different kinds of birds. I pointed out a bright red cardinal perched in a row of hedges. She squealed as it took flight, so happy to see such a brightly colored birdie fly. Until it hit my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 640

You deserved it 4 515

By fries - 24/11/2013 16:01 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my boyfriend announced to me he was sleeping with another girl via alphabet soup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 439

You deserved it 3 817

Contradictions everywhere

By Anonymous - 14/05/2020 02:00

Today, I was demoted from my job because I didn't volunteer to help out with my job during COVID-19. I texted them on the day of sign-up to see if they had enough people. I was told since I was there not to worry about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 450

You deserved it 135

The road to hell…

By carlyalexia - 28/08/2020 20:01

Today, I was trying to do a nice thing and let my friend's mom borrow my car. I went to move my mom's car that was parked behind me so that I could get my car out, and then proceeded to back into my dad's new company car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 057

You deserved it 572

Scoville scale

By firefire - 30/07/2020 08:01

Today, since my husband has been volunteering to do more of the cooking, I was happy and relieved to have help, until every meal he made had an ungodly amount of spices in it. I overheard him on the phone, saying he’s been purposely making my food inedibly hot so that I’ll eat less and lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 888

You deserved it 277

By cedechan - 29/09/2012 04:08 - United States - Tucson

Today, I got food poisoning at work. I had my head in the toilet when the auto flush decided to turn on. The force of the flush was so powerful half of what I threw up splashed back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 641

You deserved it 2 456

Manchild

By Anonymous - 02/11/2021 05:00

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years thought it would be funny to squat above my head completely naked while I was sleeping. When I woke up, his asshole and ball sack was in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 134

You deserved it 242

By Anonymous - 13/09/2012 20:37 - United Kingdom - Harlow

Today, my car alarm went off at a funeral, three times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 738

You deserved it 3 729

Work work work work

By ghk - 26/09/2021 20:00

Today, I had my first day off in six months. My mother immediately came down to my room and demanded that I clean the entire house. As I was cleaning, she said, "You don’t get to relax. Ever. Lazy ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 405

You deserved it 97

Close enough

By Anonymous - 02/06/2020 08:00

Today, I finished writing a 60-page essay on the history and people of Australia. Turns out it's supposed to be on Austria. It's due this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 170

You deserved it 1 403

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Top comments

nomudkips 4

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Wednesday 12 October 2011 8:41

You need to keep your water heater at 140F/60C, otherwise Legionnaire's disease bacteria can grow inside the tank. It should be 125F/50C at minimum.

bannedforlife 0

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Wednesday 12 October 2011 8:50

Check renter's rights in your area. There may be a standard your cheap ass landlord has to abide by.

jonathanje2 0

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Wednesday 12 October 2011 8:35

Not much todo if he's to cheap is it?

iEthan 5

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Wednesday 12 October 2011 9:39

Aww): Warm showers are bomb.

48Connor 10

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Wednesday 12 October 2011 13:32

Bolt cutters, cordless angle grinder, reciprocating saw, or even a hand saw. Go at it my friend.

ThreeSheetsGone 12

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Wednesday 12 October 2011 16:16

Dust-off and a hammer. You'll figure it out.

TraceCase_ 19

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Wednesday 12 October 2011 17:54

I picked a lock recently with a bobby pin, tiny screwdriver, google and a little patience. Go for it, OP!

False_Stupidity 41

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Wednesday 12 October 2011 19:02

I'm sure there's probably a 'Lockpicking for Dummies' book out there somewhere...

pip74205 9

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Thursday 13 October 2011 2:41

OP - Please look for so_tired_zzzzzzz post, as it will actually be helpful.

pinkp909 8

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Wednesday 12 October 2011 8:36

That should be fun. Good luck!

NEEPLES 7

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Thursday 13 October 2011 3:46

And in Canada too.

Since1998 20

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Thursday 29 August 2013 13:56

You know, we dont ride polar bears to school/work and live in igloos. Its hitting 30 degrees where I am today. The only time when it gets too cold is october/november (till about march) and her lease is over in december.

RavenDesired 10

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Wednesday 12 October 2011 8:40

Ouch! Good luck with that! I hate being cold!

nomudkips 4

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Wednesday 12 October 2011 8:41

You need to keep your water heater at 140F/60C, otherwise Legionnaire's disease bacteria can grow inside the tank. It should be 125F/50C at minimum.

FYLDeep 25

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Wednesday 12 October 2011 8:49

Yeah, take her to court and say that she's trying to kill you with her unsafe water heating practices.

nomudkips 4

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Wednesday 12 October 2011 9:38

Probably wouldn't work. There are situations where it's better to keep it colder, like if you have babies / old folks / anyone else sensitive to hot water.

mudkipsan 19

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Wednesday 12 October 2011 10:18

So run cold water with the hot; it's not that hard. Also, yesmudkips.

christyxbee 15

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Wednesday 12 October 2011 18:59

Nomud, where do you see in this post that OP is a senior citizen or even a baby? Surely if they were either they wouldn't be telling te story on FML so your point seems invalid. I say lawyer up and get a case going. This seems truly unfair.

christyxbee 15

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Wednesday 12 October 2011 19:02

Their * not te. Stupid iPhone.

emmaa3451 11

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Wednesday 12 October 2011 8:41

Not to mention you live in Alberta. I feel for you.. Hahaha FYL op..:/

Daralea 21

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Wednesday 12 October 2011 16:08

:S I agree. This FML is made all the more painful because of that. At least OP can try and find a better place/get this solved for jan and feb, which are the real Canadian winter killers.

enonymous 8

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Wednesday 12 October 2011 8:42

Jedi mind tricks work wonders. I got my landlord to let me have a neon pink paint job by using it...

HeavyScout 0

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Wednesday 12 October 2011 8:49

*waves hand* Monopoly money will be fine...

mrahhhhh 21

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Wednesday 12 October 2011 8:42

FYL for having to take cold showers in Alberta.

ariannaimelda 7

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Wednesday 12 October 2011 8:47

Hang in there till December, then run like hell!

bannedforlife 0

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Wednesday 12 October 2011 8:50

Check renter's rights in your area. There may be a standard your cheap ass landlord has to abide by.

tona01 16

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Wednesday 12 October 2011 14:47

Yeah, that's what i was going to say, i think OP may be able to demand more hot water.

Poetaster 10

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Wednesday 12 October 2011 8:50

Should be fun when you don't pay rent. Notify them in writing that theyare required, by law, to keep the premisis in a "habitable" condition. This is not habitable. Then .., sue them. I hate slum lords.