Love: Today, I finally got the courage to confess my feelings to the...

By hoolabaloo - 08/03/2013 03:53 - India - Ahmadabad

Today, I finally got the courage to confess my feelings to the guy I have loved for a year now in a long note. He called half an hour later and said, "I'm not going to read this crap, just tell me what it says". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 649

You deserved it 8 047

Love

Empathy lives

I don't want to sound ungrateful, but…

Teenagers

Show and tell

By Boyufd - 22/04/2020 23:00

Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 048

You deserved it 263

By halfie - 26/09/2015 05:06 - United States - Pigeon Forge

Today, while on my first ever date, I ordered a really hot curry, hoping to impress my date. "Yeah," I said smoothly, "not everyone can handle spicy food." When I took a bite, my eyes watered, my mouth burned, and I had to plead for water in between moaning like a dying baboon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 506

You deserved it 33 295

By bxjxj - 22/12/2014 18:40 - United States

Today, I asked my grandpa why he spoils me so much. He told me it's because he truly believes no one else will ever want to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 169

You deserved it 3 204

By chrisinator - 11/10/2016 04:21 - United States - Woodside

Today, I turned on my furnace when I got home from work for the first time this season. Only problem? Cats. Our kitten Norman has never heard a furnace in his life and Noel has just forgotten what a furnace sounds like. Both cats are terrified and won't stop yelping. I just want to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 621

You deserved it 1 210

By BrokenVow - 30/07/2009 12:02 - Canada

Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart to heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 933

You deserved it 53 639

By roo - 27/01/2011 16:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I was getting a flight home. I'd worn a belt because my skirt was too big. When I walked through security, they asked me to remove my belt. My skirt fell down in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 861

You deserved it 13 382

By DMitch - 15/05/2011 19:29 - United States

Today, I went to Subway with my girlfriend. Just as the time came for her to pay, she went to the car to grab her purse. She didn't come back. I found a note on the windshield saying, "It's over." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 792

You deserved it 14 418

By Anonymous - 12/12/2010 06:08 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of almost two years proposed to me. Everything was perfect. The ring was beautiful. And seconds after I said yes he went to play his new xbox game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 669

You deserved it 7 978

By Anonymous - 06/10/2018 15:30

Today, we woke up to two inches of water in our finished basement, which my wife and I use it as our bedroom. The plumber found roots in our sewer line. The kicker: we just bought the house four days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 630

You deserved it 237

By hatemyjob - 15/12/2015 00:15 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, after working at the same place for 3 years, I found out that they are not only cutting my hours but now I have to take orders from some girl I trained because she was promoted over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 444

You deserved it 2 668

By Anonymous - 11/08/2019 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my 7-year-old cousin has been having raging temper tantrums, added to an inability to tell the truth, and a disturbingly sociopathic nature. I'm pretty sure I'm seeing a psychopath in the making, and I'm stuck living here for 2 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 570

You deserved it 215

By anxiety - 16/11/2011 05:11 - United States

Today, I had an anxiety attack because I thought I'd lost my anxiety medication. It ended up being on the shelf right where I left it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 137

You deserved it 10 318

No kink shaming

By Anonymous - 15/09/2021 08:01 - United States - Mountain View

Today, I found out the real reason for my parents' divorce. Not because they had grown apart as they claimed, but because my dad was sleeping with hookers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 096

You deserved it 68

Pray for me

By Anonymous - 20/11/2021 14:00

Today, my wife is visiting her nana, which I hate because she comes home full of Catholic guilt, meaning I'll have to spend the next few months wasting my Sunday mornings in church, until her guilt wears off and her normal Sunday morning laziness resumes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 245

By sarahhbear - 17/11/2012 06:42 - United States - Bryan

Today, my older brother thought it would be hilarious to sneak up and scare me in the grocery aisle at the store. I screamed and jumped, knocking half the shelf's contents all over the floor. We're now banned from the only grocery store in town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 006

You deserved it 3 171

By badhairday - 04/09/2009 20:10 - United States

Today, was a nice day, so I opened the sunroof and all the windows in my car. My hair started flying around and at one point it went out the sunroof. My friends thought it would be funny to close my hair in the sunroof. They laughed until they couldn't open it up again. It short-circuited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 776

You deserved it 3 396

By Still Waiting - 16/08/2016 18:54 - United States - Wenatchee

Today, I had an appointment. After 2 hours of waiting in the sun, my mom finally picked me up and lectured me on how irresponsible my dad was for not communicating with her. Not 5 minutes after I got home, my dad showed up and gave me the same exact lecture about my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 744

You deserved it 995

By Anonymous - 21/05/2012 01:10 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, someone threw an open soda can at me from a car. It missed, so they circled around and threw an unopened can. That one hit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 017

You deserved it 2 016

By axwound - 27/12/2009 13:04 - United States

Today, I was in bed with my cat on my lap. No one was around, so I felt comfortable enough to let out a huge fart. What I didn't expect was my cat jumping up and then clawing and biting my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 496

You deserved it 29 161

By YouAssholes - 09/12/2013 23:25 - United States - Anaheim

Today, my band members and I were brainstorming ideas to help increase our fan base. My drummer suggested they replace me for someone attractive. Everyone agreed and now they are trying to kick me out of the band I started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 577

You deserved it 3 765

By Shuttie - 18/01/2013 12:55 - Denmark - Odense

Today, I was walking towards a party where I knew my cheating ex would be. I passionately rehearsed how I would have a go at him big time when I met him. Guess who was walking right behind me and heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 562

You deserved it 43 508

By deardaughter - 14/08/2019 06:00 - Australia

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my father trimming his pubes over the bin with our kitchen scissors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 721

You deserved it 106

By msmusiclover7 - 27/02/2010 15:58 - United States

Today, I found out that my dad recently created a Facebook account for himself. So I friended him. He refuses to accept my friend request. He did, however, accept my sister's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 553

You deserved it 3 567

By unlucky - 21/10/2010 13:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I failed my driving test. The examiner insisted I that didn't check a junction before pulling out. I did, he just didn't notice because he was too busy staring at my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 126

You deserved it 5 227

By lotd - 31/07/2012 23:28 - United Kingdom - Henley On Thames

Today, as I sat down for my flight, I realised that the passenger I had to sit next to for the next seven hours was wearing a necklace made from tampon packaging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 070

You deserved it 2 046

By Anon - 22/04/2013 07:19 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 200

You deserved it 126 083

By me - 28/06/2013 15:51 - United States

Today, I went to my parents' house. I recently lost about 30 lbs. My mom hugged me and said, "Aww, you're not my chubby baby girl anymore." She then said she wished I were still fat because she missed it. She's the reason I lost the weight; she used to tease and taunt me. Thanks Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 485

You deserved it 4 032

Office life sucks

By Anonymous - 02/11/2019 02:00

Today, I was supposed to start a new job. I had accepted a new position with a different company three weeks ago, and gave my notice. At the time, I even trained my replacement. Today, I found out that my new work doesn't need me anymore. So, I'm unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 320

You deserved it 198

By Anonymous - 23/06/2019 20:30

Today, I was on my way to work. Out of nowhere, my period started. Due to allergies, I had uncontrollable sneezes. Now, I have blood all over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 939

You deserved it 118

By eslteacher - 13/05/2009 04:39 - Korea Republic of

Today, while teaching English in Korea, my boss gave me a birthday present from her and all of my co-workers. It was a really fancy box. It had very nice wrapping. It had a pretty bow. It was kind of heavy. It was 6 bottles of dandruff shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 836

You deserved it 8 551

By Daddy - 19/08/2016 14:55 - United States - Hialeah

Today, I discovered an effective form of body hair removal. I discovered that my three-year-old daughter is strong enough to pull off a major clump of my leg hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 557

You deserved it 1 211

By AyDiosMio42 - 08/09/2009 06:31 - United States

Today, I stepped on the MacBook Air I purchased 4 days ago. The screen snapped in two, and I didn't buy insurance because I promised myself I would be "extra careful." $3500 well spent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 802

You deserved it 70 432

By FenderBender - 03/09/2009 04:54 - Canada

Today, I was driving home from work and noticed the car behind me was tailgating me pretty badly. I was starting to get angry with the driver, and kept glancing in my rear view mirror at him. While I was doing so, the traffic ahead of me stopped, and I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 488

You deserved it 43 482

By Poopalipa - 08/01/2009 07:42 - United States

Today, I woke up late, didn't shave, didn't have time to iron my clothes, didn't eat breakfast, and ran into the office with beads of sweat running down my face. The meeting had been cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 818

You deserved it 3 280

By ....... - 23/06/2009 17:56 - United States

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

I agree, your life sucks 258 431

You deserved it 42 704

By QuietGirlSucks - 30/08/2016 15:51 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I tried talking to the very quiet girl in my grade. We were having a conversation when a very hot guy walked into the cafeteria. I said to the girl, "The things I would do for him…" She looked at me dead in the eye and said, "That's my boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 682

You deserved it 4 675

By Ella - 24/07/2009 02:26 - United States

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 343

You deserved it 28 190

By Anonymous - 24/11/2010 04:41 - United States

Today, I received my acceptance letter to one of the most prestigious universities in the US, as well as a nice scholarship. I was so proud of myself, I eagerly showed my dad, hoping he would shed a tear or two. His only words were, "Just get a job so you can get the hell out of my house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 642

You deserved it 3 767

By anonymous - 06/06/2013 04:14 - United States - Tehachapi

Today, I saw a man on my bike that was stolen a few years ago. I asked him if I could have my bike back just wondering what he'd say. He calmly replied, "Hell no, I stole this fair and square." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 742

You deserved it 6 509

By clingmaster - 09/09/2009 08:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of over a year broke up with me. Two weeks ago she complained that I didn't act like I really loved her. I then became more involved and caring just for her to show my love. The reason she broke up with me? Because I was "suffocating her with clinginess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 739

You deserved it 4 649

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Top comments

electrorange 13

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Friday 8 March 2013 12:01

This FML post was way too long! Can you just tell me what it says?

holagranola 15

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Friday 8 March 2013 11:59

Anyone who treats you like that, isn't worth it.

Rommel1942 9

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Friday 8 March 2013 11:58

Well. The insensitive award goes to...

CareFace 16

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Friday 8 March 2013 12:41

ORRR he read it, and was trying to act all "tough" and wanted her to tell him in person cause he's a hopless romantic. Don't get me wrong, I agree 100% he is insensitive; he probably "treats 'em mean, keeps 'em keen".

upyourzlolz 11

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Friday 8 March 2013 13:34

Did your penis take that picture?

JenkJenks 6

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Friday 8 March 2013 13:51

That's a different take on a dick pic

CareFace 16

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Friday 8 March 2013 13:55

Sure...

Epikouros 31

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Friday 8 March 2013 17:20

OP is the insensitive one. Don't dump a long, emotional letter on someone if you don't know whether he's interested in you. As romantic as it seems superficially, it represents a lack of empathy.

tjv3 10

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Saturday 9 March 2013 2:43

Umm maybe he hates reading or doesn't read well?

holagranola 15

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Friday 8 March 2013 11:59

Anyone who treats you like that, isn't worth it.

wlddog 14

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Saturday 9 March 2013 2:43

Some people are just not readers. He may end up being her Romeo, but is too afraid to admit he doesnt know how to read.

electrorange 13

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Friday 8 March 2013 12:01

This FML post was way too long! Can you just tell me what it says?

MrSassypants 32

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Friday 8 March 2013 12:07

I just kind of skimmed it and it says something about courage, feelings, love, and crap.

upyourzlolz 11

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Friday 8 March 2013 13:27

Crap you say? Well then, you know its a SHITTY SITUATION.

Cartera 10

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Friday 8 March 2013 14:17

20 - YOU SON OF A BITCH!

etchsanity1 11

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Friday 8 March 2013 14:21

29 - I completely pictured your panda yelling that lol

happle 21

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Friday 8 March 2013 14:38

20- Every deer looks at you with contempt.

Imhere4fml 24

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Friday 8 March 2013 18:23

Except me, deer.

CammyGal 26

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Friday 8 March 2013 12:03

You deserve someone better anyway.

p36288 17

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Friday 8 March 2013 12:04

Maybe he has finished reading and want to hear you say it again

klutz44 28

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Sunday 10 March 2013 5:42

That's optimistic!

Ultimate_No 7

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Friday 8 March 2013 12:06

I think that kind of stuff means more when it's spoken, anyways.

twaumat 28

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Friday 8 March 2013 12:06

I'm sorry op:(

DocBastard 38

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Friday 8 March 2013 12:21

You loved him in a note? I'm afraid I don't understand. How does one love someone in a long note? Doesn't anyone care about dangling participles anymore??

shoopd 19

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Friday 8 March 2013 12:58

Clearly, you have never seen the video for "Take On Me".

whostolemylama 12

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Friday 8 March 2013 14:53

Actually I am confused. The word loved modifies the man and not the note because the word loved acts as an appositive and not a dangling participle.

gc327072 30

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Friday 8 March 2013 15:06

Doc your comment is way too long, can you tell me what it says?

jett0001 13

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Friday 8 March 2013 12:22

It's a technology driven world, next time send him a audio clip! But, seriously sorry to hear that OP; nothing beats hand written in my book.

Pyapi 20

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Friday 8 March 2013 22:10

I wish I could say that. Everyone complains about my handwriting being horrible, no matter how much I practice

plugh 1

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Friday 8 March 2013 12:22

Did you start out with a lot of subtlety progressing into a few paragraphs of Twillight references before getting to anything a guy would consider a point? or did you just start "Hey man, I really like you and this is what I think we should do...". In the former case I would be inclined to say YDI...