Today, I enjoyed a romantic evening at home with my husband while a babysitter took care of my 5-year-old daughter. After she came home, she told me the sitter let her use her "weird swing." I wasn't too worried, until she said it was indoors, and I realized she was describing a sex swing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got yelled at and called a pedo by a mother after I sat down in a swing next to her daughter. I was too embarrassed to tell her that I'm a 20 year old who really does enjoy swinging in my spare time. FML
Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML
Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend to our local park, and I playfully climbed into one of the baby swings. I planned on having him push me, not getting stuck and having to be cut free from the seat while he laughed. FML
Today, my husband and I bought a new swing for our front porch. We put it together and sat down to enjoy our accomplishment. Five minutes into our swing I threw up several times. I have really bad motion sickness, and apparently a swing is no exception. FML
Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML
Today, I was doing my nightly exercises in the living room after my kids went to bed. My youngest got up and saw me doing some hip mobility moves that I’ll admit look a little weird. He then told his teacher that mommy was humping a pillow on the floor. FML
Today, my girlfriend of four months asked me to babysit her four-year-old daughter. All went well, and she texted me to see how she was. I wanted to say “a little ornery”. My phone auto corrected ornery to horny. She didn't appreciate that her four-year-old daughter was a little horny from her boyfriend. FML
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
Today, I had to babysit a 9 year-old girl. I hadn't slept for almost 40 hours and fell half-asleep while sitting on her couch for two minutes. She asked me something, but I thought it was a dream and answered with, "Your mom's a hoe." When I woke up, I realized I'd said it out loud instead of in my head. FML
Today, I put my 5 month-old daughter in her swinging chair and walked into the kitchen to make her a bottle. When I came back, she was giggling because the dog was licking her face. It would have been cute, picture worthy even, if I actually had a dog. FML
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Top comments
rgri 11
I guess she can't use you as a reference.
TwistedCherub1 15
What people are into is their business and shouldn't disqualify them from any job UNTIL they involve your kid. Fire her and tell everyone you know.
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Comments (55)
Omniprism 15
I still wouldn't be worried. I bet your daughter wandered off into her room and saw the swing and wanted to swing. How could the baby sitter say no?
bubblyhayley 16
id kill her if that was my child!! how vile!!
Sweetpea22 14
So, you would kill an innocent woman who had a swing? How do you know it wasn't a yoga swing?
r0cks0 6
Better find out what other games they played. Thats scary
evildemonchild 18
Maybe the child thought it was a normal swing. Have a talk with the babysitter, if you believe she did something to your child than involved the cops or something.
saraitkddh 47
Sorry OP, you should report her so that she won't do this to another children.
Sweetpea22 14
Yeah, and when they find out it was nothing except a hammock, yoga swing or even if it was a sex swing, the cops won't do anything since they are LEGAL. The parents however will be fined for wasting the polices time
SophisticatedMom 3
Omg Eww
Nicostream 16
Awaiting for this: "Today, I got fired from my babysitter job because I let their child play on my yoga swing. Their perverted mind instantly thought it was a sex swing. FML"
TheyCallMeDamien 18
You need to talk with the sitter. Everything else is speculation.
allliseee 8
why didn't you checked the place she took your daughter to?
kaduzy 12
So what? She didn't see anyone have sex on it or have sex on it herself. She got to swing normally and have fun. Unless it wasn't clean, what's your beef?