By lendahandmanda - 24/02/2010 00:01 - United States

Spicy
Today, I drunkenly hooked up with my friend's cousin. After trying to stick his finger up my butt, he blacked out on top of me with his penis still hard inside me. I tried yelling his name and pushing him off, with no success. I ended up having to call my friend to help me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 10 974
You deserved it 27 883

lendahandmanda tells us more.

lendahandmanda 0

Not only was he a pretty muscular guy, but his arms were pinning mine down to a point, and i had no leverage laying in the position I was in. To those of you saying I should have just waited til he woke up, he was sort of choking me, his head was under my chin pressed against my neck, and I felt like I was being suffocated, and his body on top of mine was making it difficult for me to breathe. It might have just been anxiety though. I probably could have stuck through it.

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necrofukker 0

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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5 20
susieKiute 0

Hey!!! I resent that...I'm from California :)

4 8
maskedman 9

Yelling his name will only make him harder. Also, I hope you weren't implying that sticking his finger up your butt was a bad thing, because that is one of my signature moves.

19 4
daniisme 0

e I Ora... a tu a... o nga iwi ma to ra... a ta whaka rongo nga.... me a ro a noa.... KIWI PRIDE. and snicker, I SWEAR TO GOD.... People drink, the drink cuda Ben spiked 4 a we know. drinking is having fun. shit happens.

1 13
bettyy1 0

I dont think your a *****! god people act like you've just burnt a school full of children down. ITS JUST SEX GET OVER IT YOU LOSERS!!!

8 0
xhalighx 0

For sure. That's why you stay on top, OP. ;)

0 0
Blue_Black_fml 21

i'm interested in what you said to your friend in your phone call: "hey sorry to bother you at this hour, but can you come help me remove a penis from my ******, please?" YDI for being a *****, hope this teaches you a lesson to act like a lady intead of a *****..

1 2
WhiteRose99 0

But if there were no skanks in the world then how would idiots like you ever get laid? OP was having a bit of fun. It happens. Shh people have drunken sex, pass it on.

1 0
carteran06 0

bitch u shoulda finished and passed out wit him smh fyl ydi

1 6
shath18 0

I agree. I'm from USA but I think Americans suck.

11 19
CallMeHush 0

I bet you get off the pony in front of K-mart before your quarter runs out too. Next time finish the ride!

6 1