Today, I decided to splurge and get valet parking at a fancy restaurant. I got out of the car and gave the man my keys and watched as he slowly backed my car into another car. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I had my car valeted at my hotel. The manager came out, took my keys, and said the car would be waiting for me in an hour. I was then forced to watch from the lobby as the "manager" sped off downtown. FML
Today, I went out with my girlfriend to a restaurant. After parking up next to a badly parked Audi, I commented, “Typical shit parking by an Audi driver.” Unbeknownst to me, the owner was walking to his car at the exact same moment. FML
Today, I went to a fancy restaurant. I was coming right from work and brought a change of clothes with me. I parked in an empty corner of the parking lot to change. As I was pulling my pants up, I noticed that I was facing an apartment complex where an old guy was watching me from his balcony. FML
Today, I tried to impress my date by confidently parallel parking on a busy street. I hit the curb twice, stalled the car, and somehow set off my alarm. Then I locked the keys inside while it screamed. We stood there in silence while people watched. FML
Today, I was trying to do a nice thing and let my friend's mom borrow my car. I went to move my mom's car that was parked behind me so that I could get my car out, and then proceeded to back into my dad's new company car. FML
Today, I went on a date. We met in the parking lot of a restaurant. As I approached his car he took one look at me, said "Nope", and drove off. FML
Today, leaving the restaurant I work in, the car next to mine was very crookedly parked. I had a hard time backing out. It turned out the whole restaurant was watching me, and they all started to clap as I drove away. FML
Today, at a restaurant, I noticed a really hot girl leaving with her friend. A few minutes later they came back, laughing uncontrollably, and announced that some moron forgot to put on their parking brake and the car was rolling into the full parking lot. It was my car. They watched me chase it. FML
Today, I thought I'd finally mastered the art of parallel parking. Feeling proud of myself, I got out of the car to admire my handiwork, only to realise I'd parked halfway onto the sidewalk and completely blocked the entrance to a cafe. I had to sheepishly move my car while enduring the glares of annoyed pedestrians. FML
Today, I backed my car into a parked car in a parking lot. Not only did I back into a parked car, but it was the ONLY parked car there. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jmigs17 19
I never valet. Walking is better for you anyway
PrincessCastiel 27
He better be paying for the damage I'm so sorry OP!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (64)
AninOnin 24
Oh hey, I moderated this. Except the ending went something like "my car is undrivable". Congrats getting posted!
russfml 31
You had one job
xluciferx666 21
Lawsuit time
teentee401 37
Wow, what a dumbass valet, 39.
ALegitOreo 11
*Valet puts on shades "Deal with it"
joyboy390 12
Thats exactly why i will never valet my car. If someone is gonna mess up my car its gonna be me. YDI walking keeps you healthy
mike762414 6
I had a valet total my car in their parking garage, didn't know how to drive a manual. Don't let them screw you over.
Shmatterhorn 38
Well, I can't call that a "smashing" success.
Brandi_Faith 34
That's crazy. Totally sounds like something out of a movie or tv show.
kirbs19 37
That's life telling you not to pretend to be something your not...