Today, I asked my husband if he wanted to visit my parents for Thanksgiving. He choked on his own spit to avoid answering the question. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After I said no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML
Today, it was my first time meeting my fiancé's parents. My future mother-in-law had cooked steak, hearing it was my favourite food. I somehow managed to bite my tongue, and then blurt out "Fuck!" just after she asked me how it was. FML
Today, I choked on my saliva during a medical interview. FML
Today, I had awful morning sickness, and I asked my husband if he'd get me a drink while I went to the bathroom. On the way back, I witnessed him spitting in the glass. FML
Today, I took my parents up on their invitation to spend Thanksgiving with them. My 3 year-old daughter refused to get out of the car and insisted on waiting there. When asked why, she said, "I don't like Grandma because she's mean to Daddy!" Not only did my parents hear, we haven't told her he, my husband, passed away 4 months ago. FML
Today, I called my husband and asked him what he wanted from our favorite fast food place. A divorce. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years finally proposed to me at the park we first met in. As I was about to say yes, a huge fly flew straight into my mouth. I ruined the moment by choking on it and eventually spitting it out on him. I think he's rethinking the proposal. FML
Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML
Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML
Today, my boyfriend wouldn’t stop smacking and slurping his food. I told him to at least chew with his mouth closed. He looked me dead in the eye, with a mouth full of chewed up pizza, and said, “No.” FML
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Top comments
cacheson 42
If parents are an issue, maybe instead of visiting anybody's parents for Thanksgiving, you guys can just go on a cruise! There's time to see parents when everyone isn't stressed out and trying to prepare a giant meal.
HanBanana15 9
As someone who often chokes on my own spit because I'm super awkward and accident prone, I'm having trouble believing someone would do it on purpose, because it really sucks. Maybe he just inhaled too sharply before he was going to answer you. Either way, I hope you're able to work it out, and have a good Thanksgiving.
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Comments (32)
cumminsncope 4
Well duh, everyone hates their in-laws
Shay_Shay97 23
A simple 'no' would've been fine.
Juls464 10
everyone is giving relationship advice and I'm like lol
noellebelle626 19
Lol. Looks like ur going alone this year
Rented_eyebrows 18
I'll take that as a yes?? His probably just over "come" in joy ;)
AceGthebest 16
Today, I accidentally inhaled a ball of my own spit and started choking, this was two seconds after my wife asked if I wanted to visit the parents for thanksgiving. She won't believe it was an accident. FML
cootiequeen4444 11
*husband. OP is a dude.
OhPuhleeze 23
I am assuming you did get an answer. It might have given your husband a few minutes but eventually he would be breathing normally and you'd still be there, or were there. So, is he going or not?
themoffiata 6
To quote captain Gates from Castle (s5 ep9)"One day soon your In-laws will visit too. and when they do, think Hotel..." maybe have a hotel weekend and eat at a restaurant.
klirrivirri 9
if he don't answer you, then it's a yes from him. the one who stays silent ,agrees.. is a saying in Norway
Joshawott 21
Well, there's your answer.