Today, at work, my boss went to the single-stall bathroom on our floor. The next thing I know, I'm on suspension pending review because some asshole left an upper-decker in the toilet. Since I'm the office prankster, all suspicion is now on me. I've been framed by my own colleagues. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I found that my coworker left an "upper decker" in the toilet as a prank. I didn't realize this until I flushed. The poop clogged the top part of the toilet, which would not stop filling. I had to reach into the poopy water to unplug it. All I went in there to do was pee, and I had the CFO of our company waiting. FML
Today, I have been victimised by a lunch thief at work for months, despite numerous complaints to management, so I exposed the thief by lacing my curry with that old classic, laxatives. Even though my coworker was caught brown-handed shitting himself, I was the one suspended for making him sick. FML
Today, our boss gave me and my team a final warning, because of a prank that one of my workmates played on him. It isn't the first time shit happens. The boss won't let us dispute it, either. FML
Today, one of my co-workers was fired after my manager discovered him pissing in the office coffee pot. I had three cups before I found out what had happened. FML
Today, I gave a big presentation at work, hoping to impress my boss and angle for a promotion. I was already nervous, but a co-worker at the back kept making goofy faces, causing me to repeatedly break into laughter. My boss accused me of being high, and suspended me on the spot. FML
Today, I visited a friend at work with a couple of other friends. We like to play pranks, so we went to his register and started loudly discussing our masturbation habits as a joke. Some bitch complained, and his boss fired him and kicked us all out. FML
Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML
Today, at work, I stepped out for a few minutes to use the bathroom. Shortly after returning, I found out the hard way that one of my coworkers had used my computer to send a profanity-filled email to our boss, calling him an asshole and telling him to go fuck himself. I'm now jobless. FML
Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML
Today, I got a talking-to at work from my new manager for eating other peoples' lunches. Immediately afterwards, I watched my manager leave the room, take MY lunch, and begin eating it. Apparently my new manager is the thief, and I'm now the office pariah who gets the blame. Nobody believes me. FML
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Top comments
azcardinals1307 2
I suspect it's because they're tired of your stupid pranks.
Mjwnenrjs 17
What is an upper decker??
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Comments (82)
RightSaidDredd 7
Demand trial by dna, problem solved.
Zebidee 9
I agree. In your next job, you'll know to act like a professional who is being paid to be there, not like some sort of childish idiot.
Jasonf6 0
Your boss can't do that. File a complain.
darkmis1 18
Well maybe you should be a little more mature and stop pulling pranks all the time, then maybe you won't automatically be a suspect.
Joey44 15
If you've actually been suspended for this, then you have to have pulled a **** load of pranks before this happened. And they must have all been as bad or worse (in terms of the consequences to the people getting pranked) as this one. I suspect boss had already made it clear to you that if something else happened you'd be in serious trouble, and your long-suffering co-workers decided to take the opportunity to get rid of you. Which I actually don't blame them for.
alexgreen55 10
next time you should just shit right on their desks. Yeah thats a real prank.
SwtCherryPie 26
So i had to look this up on urban dictionary... thats pretty sick
cajekraze 7
Don't be a prankster, dick. YDI
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Well that sucks, but I'm 50/50 on this one. FYL for being blamed for something you didn't do, but YDI for being a prankster. That was probably the person's motive - they knew they could get away with blaming you.
Saladman918 7
Same thing happened to me last week... Same exact thing...