Today, at work, I was trying to repeat an order back to this... - FML

By ziatenaj - 15/10/2010 10:52 - United States

Today, at work, I was trying to repeat an order back to this guy, when his drunk girlfriend started to interrupt me. Whenever I would open my mouth, she would say "Blah blah blah." Literally. Eventually, I gave up. I got his order wrong, and got yelled at by my manager for not repeating his order. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30103

You deserved it

2947

Tweet

Share

Proactive

White line fever

No one likes a smart-ass

By overseasbummer - 14/11/2014 19:09 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my wife and I had an argument serious enough to end our marriage, while overseas on vacation, with my whole family present. Three more days of awkward tension until we get to fly home and it all ends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36138

You deserved it

3890

Tweet

Share

By Noname - 21/2/2009 05:41 - United States

Today, My mom walked in on me and my 2 year crush about to have sex. When she saw us she said "oh I'll just wait outside, I know it wont be long anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks

88819

You deserved it

8273

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - 21/11/2009 08:00 - United States

Today, I was sitting with a friend who moved back into town, and he told me about how he hooked up with a girl at a bar last night. I asked him if she was hot, he responded "Yeah, I have a picture of her on my phone." It was a picture of my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46165

You deserved it

2857

Tweet

Share

By novaguy - 24/2/2015 16:15 - United States

Today, I learned that, when choking on a piece of food, you can cough hard enough to partially prolapse a hemorrhoid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28635

You deserved it

2519

Tweet

Share

By bloody - 15/6/2013 08:57 - United States

Today, my fiancé threatened to leave me for "bleeding too damn much." FML

I agree, your life sucks

52002

You deserved it

5053

Tweet

Share

By yosenfal - 28/4/2012 01:04 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51177

You deserved it

4023

Tweet

Share

By chocofreak - 10/5/2009 10:23 - United States

Today, I work at a chocolate factory on the sanitation shift. I was under a machine cleaning and a spider fell on me. I started freaking out and a coworker thought I got caught in the moving parts and frantically pulled me out and alerted my boss. Turns out it was just a piece of caramel. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17140

You deserved it

44785

Tweet

Share

By CrappyLuck - 4/8/2011 02:43 - United States

Today, I took my 8 month-old to the Urgent Care due to extreme constipation. I spent $25 for my son to poop on me the second the doctor had me remove his diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29708

You deserved it

4226

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 25/12/2013 23:19 - United States - Lebanon

Today, I realized my family is more excited to see my girlfriend than they are to see me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36532

You deserved it

4240

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 7/4/2020 17:00

Fetch!

Today, my boyfriend and I were throwing a toy for his dog. He threw it, and I turned my head in that direction, looking for almost a minute before realizing he didn't actually throw it. He's still amused because, "even the dog was smart enough not to fall for that." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1276

You deserved it

762

Tweet

Share

By Anna - 18/3/2010 12:20 - United States

Today, I called my dad at his new wife's house to inform him I was all set to graduate from community college with my associates degree and that we needed to sit down and plan how to pay for the 4 year degree. To which he replied "all a girl needs is an associates degree". Thanks dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32921

You deserved it

4847

Tweet

Share

By Noah - 16/8/2016 18:43 - United States - South Haven

Today, I was at a bar with my girlfriend, and I noticed an obnoxious guy from college I used to hang out with. I tried to avoid eye contact, but all of a sudden he shouted, "There's the guy who puked his margarita back into the glass!" Everyone stared. Yup, that was me, just last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13621

You deserved it

2840

Tweet

Share

By Anonynonynon - 13/2/2015 19:05 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I'm working for a company that makes over a million dollars a year, yet leaves me with no choice but to pee in a cup because they won't pay to fix the only toilet in the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31651

You deserved it

2404

Tweet

Share

By FlatTire - 13/2/2011 05:30 - United States

Today, I found out that I have enough driving skills to manage to hit a pothole and have two of my tires go flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13949

You deserved it

19423

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 30/10/2014 07:25 - United States - Springfield

Today, I told my boyfriend that it's time for him to stop blaming others and own up to his mistakes. He retorted, "Don't blame me!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

32288

You deserved it

3816

Tweet

Share

By josh - 23/1/2009 12:33 - United States

Today, I sent a Facebook friend request to my ex. This afternoon I notice that they had accepted, and had left a message for me in my inbox. Asking how they knew me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27519

You deserved it

4074

Tweet

Share

By K.S.S. - 17/4/2016 02:24 - United States - Rushville

Today, when I tried to break up with my girlfriend of 2 years, she had no idea we were even dating. She thought of all the movies, dinners and "sleep overs" I had with her was because we were such great friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26369

You deserved it

4245

Tweet

Share

By Tickettoride - 4/5/2013 10:24 - Austria - Vienna

Today, my boyfriend and I stressed out preparing for our one week holiday. We packed for the whole day, said goodbye to everyone and arrived at the airport quite exhausted after a 45-minute train ride. Turns out our flight isn't until tomorrow. The check-in lady couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43930

You deserved it

16207

Tweet

Share

By shouldbehappyiguess - 11/7/2013 06:20 - United States - Saint Cloud

Today, a coworker complimented me on losing weight, and said that she wished she could drop a few pounds too. I was too embarrassed to tell her that the only reason I've lost weight is because I haven't been able to afford to eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

60939

You deserved it

3886

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 17/5/2009 13:48 - United States

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

I agree, your life sucks

63393

You deserved it

23303

Tweet

Share

By fed up/turned off - 2/10/2013 05:47 - United States - Fresno

Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

41380

You deserved it

6739

Tweet

Share

By crissy becks - 5/8/2012 22:05 - United States - Inglewood

Today, my friends and I planned to go to a waterpark together. However, due to a "miscommunication," I, and only I, was given both the wrong time and the wrong meeting place. I spent three hours sitting in a parking lot in little more than my swimming suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27003

You deserved it

2974

Tweet

Share

By john doe - 7/12/2013 17:29 - United States - Portland

Today, my 6-year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52806

You deserved it

6145

Tweet

Share

By technicallywroteabook - 21/8/2015 05:15 - United States - Grapevine

Today, I turned in an essay about a book I'd read over the summer. My teacher later called me to her desk and began to gush about how interesting the book sounded and asked to borrow my copy. The book I wrote about is not real, and the main characters are named after my childhood pets. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22905

You deserved it

17081

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 6/11/2011 21:05 - United Kingdom

Today, the motorway I usually use was closed off due to a major car accident. With no way off the freeway, my trip took three times longer than usual. I lost control of my bladder mid-way. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29265

You deserved it

5570

Tweet

Share

By louise. - 18/10/2010 09:06 - Australia

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he chose me out of all the hotter girls out there. He told me it's because I have great birthing hips. Apparently I'm having six children. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33505

You deserved it

5686

Tweet

Share

By A Henderson - 25/4/2012 20:50 - United States

Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27042

You deserved it

2229

Tweet

Share

By Jes - 28/6/2016 00:44

Today, my father called me to ask what my middle name is. He apparently needed to know it to remove me out from his will. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15780

You deserved it

1109

Tweet

Share

By BeautifulDisastre - 23/12/2009 10:24 - United States

Today, I drove the six hours to LA to attend my Uncle's birthday party. When I tried to get off at the exit, it took me two hours just to get onto the street where the club was. By the time I showed up, the party was already over, so I ended up going to a Denny's. I drove eight hours for a Denny's. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29387

You deserved it

4729

Tweet

Share

By dammit - 23/5/2017 04:00

Today, my grandma was arrested for throwing her cane at a man who she thought was mocking her walk. That man was my boyfriend's father, who limps because of his cerebral palsy. He refuses to drop the assault charges. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4685

You deserved it

565

Tweet

Share

By googly191 - 19/12/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, it's my birthday, and apparently my family forgot it. But one person didn't forget. My dog gave me a little present in my new shoes I bought for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34548

You deserved it

2457

Tweet

Share

By whyme - 12/9/2013 14:44 - United States - Tampa

Today, I was standing in line at the grocery store waiting for my husband. After a while, I feel him kissing my neck, so I turn to tell him that it's not appropriate in public. It wasn't my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks

63564

You deserved it

4549

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 23/1/2014 03:42 - Australia - Wheelers Hill

Today, I decided to dye my hair blue. The result is slightly different than I expected: my white bathroom is now blue, and so are my skin and nails. The only thing that isn't blue is my hair, which is now green. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44330

You deserved it

21228

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 27/12/2011 00:45 - United States

Today, I was riding in my friend's car. We passed by a group of cute guys standing by the curb with their skateboards so we slowed down to whistle at them. We then noticed the ambulance taking their friend away on a stretcher. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9443

You deserved it

37268

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 18/6/2016 03:22 - United States - Detroit

Today, I finally started my first job. I also lost it, for being too "enthusiastic" and making my fellow employees look lazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14984

You deserved it

932

Tweet

Share

By Worst City in the World - 22/3/2018 15:00

Today, I traveled through a winter storm to NYC. After a miserable interview, I got in my car and drove only 200 feet before being pulled over and ticketed for momentarily picking up my GPS. Today's total: 5 points, $150, no new job, and 6 hours of driving in a Nor'easter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3424

You deserved it

468

Tweet

Share

By Farah - 26/9/2016 14:42 - Bangladesh

Today, I e-mailed an employer to ask about a job I had applied for earlier. The employer in question was on vacation. The person who replied had the position which I had applied for mentioned in their signature. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10749

You deserved it

774

Tweet

Share

By sunitgir - 21/10/2019 06:00

Gordon Ramsey is furious

Today, my mother decided to cook dinner for us and used rice that she had in her cupboard. While helping out, I stirred the dish and noticed black flecks. Turns out they were rice weevils. She tried to convince me it was "burnt garlic" and served it to the rest of the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1535

You deserved it

93

Tweet

Share

By Justme - 20/2/2011 12:23 - United States

Today, I had surgery on my "girl parts" and can't have sex for six weeks. My boyfriend sees no need to spend any time with me until I heal up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53181

You deserved it

7383

Tweet

Share

By SpongeAbii2 - 24/1/2012 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31653

You deserved it

2949

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By krushr | 3

#1552264 - Friday 15 October 2010 19:05

I typically wouldn't condone spitting in a person's food, but I'll make an exception in this case.

By DocBastard | 38

#1552359 - Friday 15 October 2010 19:24

Kesha looks like she would be sticky if I touched her.

Comments

By xXSweetNightmare | 0

#1552256 - Friday 15 October 2010 19:04

Lmfao. ^

By krushr | 3

#1552264 - Friday 15 October 2010 19:05

I typically wouldn't condone spitting in a person's food, but I'll make an exception in this case.

Reply

Crippla | 0

#1556623 - Saturday 16 October 2010 16:10

yeah, this is the sort of thing you report to your BOH friends so they can make the food "correctly"

By Mister_Grinch | 0

#1552288 - Friday 15 October 2010 19:06

Welcome to McDonalds!

Reply

animosiity | 0

#1553204 - Saturday 16 October 2010 0:05

lol

By FYLDeep | 25

#1552306 - Friday 15 October 2010 19:13

Hopefully you'll get out of the the drive-thru someday. If not, FYL.

Reply

iGreen_Day | 0

#1552542 - Friday 15 October 2010 20:24

LOL

OP: bla, bla bla!

By sweet_candy_ | 17

#1552315 - Friday 15 October 2010 19:14

That sucks it wasn't even your fault.

By wes85 | 2

#1552317 - Friday 15 October 2010 19:10

should have just ignored her and talked to him directly. or tell your boss the problem with the customers.

By destany | 0

#1552353 - Friday 15 October 2010 19:20

ever seen the movie waiting? revenge is sweet.

Reply

Aerius_fml | 3

#1552474 - Friday 15 October 2010 20:01

...that movie sounds familiar. Who's it by?

By DocBastard | 38

#1552359 - Friday 15 October 2010 19:24

Kesha looks like she would be sticky if I touched her.

Reply

Geiko_fml | 0

#1556134 - Saturday 16 October 2010 14:11

Docy, no taking things from other websites. :D

By Thawn | 0

#1552436 - Friday 15 October 2010 19:38

should have told her to use her mouth for something else

By artisticninja713 | 13

#1552478 - Friday 15 October 2010 20:05

learn to talk over people YDI

Reply

blo0_starZz | 0

#1555196 - Saturday 16 October 2010 9:10

LMFAO.

I can imagine that x').