Today, at the supermarket, an old lady asked for directions to the produce aisle. Having read way too many stories lately on this very site about awful elderly folks, I was wary, but helped her out. She gave me an awkward hug in thanks, lifting my wallet in the process, as I later found out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, an elderly woman couldn't afford all of her groceries at the checkout so she started to take out a few things. I offered to pay for her groceries; she thanked me and walked out. An onlooker then came up to me and told me that she does it to someone every week. FML
Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML
Today, at the grocery store, an elderly woman asked for help with some tea. I lent her a hand, spending a good twenty minutes reading different labels out loud until she found one she liked. After she was done, she handed me a pamphlet and said, "You're a nice girl. I hope you don't go to hell." FML
Today, I helped an elderly woman push her grocery cart around the store, and look for her vehicle after she'd paid. After we spent ages wandering around trying to find her car, she remembered that she'd taken the bus today. FML
Today, I asked an elderly customer at my work if she needed help with her groceries. She responded, "I normally would, but I'm afraid you'll eat all the groceries." FML
Today, I was working at the grocery store and a very old woman wanted to give me a tip for bagging her groceries. She slid a quarter into my pocket against my thigh as deep down as she could get it, then she gave me a smile and a wink. I was groped by a grandma. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, I helped a lady carry her grocery bags to her car. She was so grateful that she offered me a tip. I refused, but she insisted. When I finally took it, I looked at the bill to see she'd given me $1. I smiled and said thank you, but she looked at me like I’d just robbed her. FML
Today, I tried helping an old lady with her groceries. When I asked if she needed help she smiled. When I took one of her bags she yelled. I didn't know she was deaf. FML
Today, I saw an elderly woman in need of help of crossing a street. I helped her across. On the way she just about fell and held onto me to keep from hitting the ground. After she left on her bus I reached for my wallet. It was gone. I had just been robbed by a 70 year old. FML
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Top comments
pistachiopanda 19
That's horrible... Society really is going downhill.
untouchable763 10
Granny got moves.
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Comments (98)
pwnman 33
OP, if she is going to die soon, keep an eye on your local newspaper of deaths. If you see her, attend her funeral, and tell everyone she stole your wallet! Then, what will happen next................?
ShinyArcanine 16
These stories are making me more and more suspicious of grandmas.
Epikouros 32
Lessons of FML: never help anybody under any circumstances, never brag, never drink alcohol, never ever have sex, go out on a date or get a girlfriend/boyfriend/whatever, let alone get married; sell your car, stay home from school (but mind you're grammer), kill your parents and siblings, and poke out your eyes before you see any old people naked.
EsOSiQueEs 14
I'm going to assume the "Mind you're grammer" thing was a joke, but if not, your* grammar*.
girlbye23 15
If you were wary shouldn't have let her hug you.
onorexveritas 24
the elderly stoke again!
nyxiny 22
That does suck, but I'm not sure why you would let a stranger hug you in the first place, even if it was an old lady. :/
deeznuts15 4
you knew about those types of old people and still helped, you deserve it.
dancinwookie 21
I explained this in an FML ages ago; old people are the seediest of people! They know all the tricks in the book, and they steal my slot machine winnings coin bucket if I turn my head for a second. And, they're hardcore BINGO players. If you ever feel like having a crowd of people "shush" you, go talk during Bingo. Or, you could just be me.
NigWaffle 4
go **** that bitch up
gators1995 30
Granny is OP