Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was home on leave and having breakfast with my parents and my younger brothers. I guess I got too used to the rougher language around the Army barracks where I'm stationed. At the breakfast table, I asked my Mom to "pass me the f***ing butter." FML
Today, I saw a man in an army uniform. As a bit of a patriot, I went up to thank him for his service. After about 10 minutes of me going on and on, he started laughing. He wasn't a soldier. FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML
Today, while making small talk with a veteran, I made the mistake of using the phrase "Cost an arm and a leg". He was a double amputee. FML
Today, my dad drunkenly ranted about how I should volunteer for the military because of the crisis in the Middle East. I refused; I'm in college on two scholarships and have listened to stories of why his service still gives him nightmares. I had to hide all the phones to keep him from calling the recruiters. FML
Today, I overheard my mother and sister talking so I stopped to eavesdrop. I recently enlisted in the Marines, and they were talking about what they would do with the money if I died. FML
Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML
Today, I bought some flowers. As I was checking out, the cashier asked, "Aww, these for your mom? How sweet." I responded they were for a girl I liked. She laughed and said, "Sorry…" FML
Today, I saw some servicemen sitting outside a café, and I went over to thank them for their service. They waited till after I was done shaking their hands before they told me that they were just actors on their lunch break. FML
Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML
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Top comments
Dusk1 0
We should ship your mother over to Iraq. God bless our soldiers.
alwaysalady 0
That's awful. I give soldiers hugs and tell them thank you. Your mom needs to learn a little respect.
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Comments (721)
Flounder 2
You know what one of the things soldiers fight for? The freedom to have your own opinions. That's nice you apologized for your mom, but even more embarrassing than your mom's tirade was that soldier's reaction...what a douchebag. By the way, I'm in the service myself and would never begrudge anyone their own thoughts and beliefs on the military. Just because I serve doesn't mean I expect the rest of the country to kiss my ass.
Jethro_fml 0
"You *don't* support the war?" "I support the men fighting it." Sound familiar? No? Watch NCIS. I agree with Gibbs completely here. I do not support the war, but if I could, I would personally thank each and every one of the men and women with the courage to fight it. Jet
sbarre1 0
Hm.. You can read lips pretty well, can't ya'? :)
Bumlove89 0
You should of walked off and mouthed "i dont know her" instead. FYL for having have idiot as a mom.
Briony1993 0
Soldier FTW
Hillary_Clinton 0
your mom is an ass but the soldier didn't have the right to be pissed at you for something your mom said.
CHILL222 0
ur moms a bitch
Mefreh 0
Hahaha, this is hilarious, I really lol'ed at this one. If I was that soldier I would've walked up to you mom and called her a "African American, buttocks,Woman of questionable repute, female dog, common garden tool."
aback 4
Get momma fitted for a muzzle.
neverland_fml 0
I agree with #201. Your mother is awful. I don't agree with the war and a growing number of people don't, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't support the men and women who are willing to die so we can continue to complain like your bitch-ass mom. She should at least respect the soldiers. On the other side, he shouldn't have been mad at you but I understand how he could be and how you would be scared. His hands could kill you in 45 different ways.