Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, I was laying on the couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML
Today, as I was using my mom's computer, a spider crawled onto the screen. So as per my usual reaction to seeing a spider, I smashed it as fast as I could. I missed the spider, but now I have to buy my mom a new monitor. FML
Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML
Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML
Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML
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Top comments
breenarae25 0
that's why u FLICK it , not smack it... duhh
Trevv 0
You'd be amazed at how stupid people can be... This is nothing.
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Comments (145)
slutsstud 0
hahah!!............. ur idiot!
Thrashmeister 0
Dumbass.
hustler123 0
haha ow! lmfao......so the spider prob. wanted to bite your crotch or something so you smack it hurting yourself in the process ??...haha smart one! btw haha @ 1
thabeast 0
when you say "smashing my nuts" do you mean like flatining/popping/crushing them? any way all i can say is Ohhhh thats gotta hurt
rising_sun 0
I don't know why the DVD part was necessary, but oh well; it was funny. And could you quite possibly be the same guy whose nuts were invaded by a web-building spider on FML a few days ago?
FarSide 23
Well brainless, can you find anything else stupid to do?
Imawhalerider 0
DVD? i usually call it ****
satanicminnow1 1
Why the **** do people freak out about spiders so much? Yes they are creepy ass motherfuckers. but seriously, no reason to jump and shit. Talk about irrational fear. And I'm no tough guy either.
Shizden 0
16 it may have been a red widow as far as you know the OP never specified the klnd of spider
mousekeyboard 0
i think what we should all be asking is.. why were you watching a movie naked?