Today, as always, I'm dating one of the few girls who, without fail, always finishes first when we get intimate. She's also one of those girlfriends who doesn't want to continue once she's done. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her first and last...with plenty of people in between. FML
Today, I've been blessed with a great girlfriend who initiates sex often, but then during the act just lays there looking uninterested while I do all the work. Looking at her bored expression makes me lose all the fun. FML
Today, I slept with a friend who always bitches about how he can't keep a girlfriend. When he finished within 3 minutes, I understood why. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML
Today, I had a one night stand. After her laying there without moving for ages, she impatiently asked if I'd finished. Once she got bored and told me to just finish myself off, her song playlist began playing "Never Gonna Dance Again". Very romantic. FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. Being the stud that I am, after a short time I turned to her and said "You think you're ready for a round two?" She replied "No, but I do think I'm ready for the rest of round one." FML
Today, despite warning my new girlfriend I suffer from bad premature ejaculation, and should get her to orgasm first with my hand or mouth, she insisted I “just fuck her already” then she blamed me when it was over in 15 seconds. FML
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Top comments
MrBrightside21 20
I'd be satisfied to have anyone with a female reproductive organ.
Ziggy122 15
Hey, at least you're good enough to make her finish!
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Comments (143)
emag_eht 18
You'll be unsatisfied too. She'll be finished and want you off of her.
RtardSupport 2
You need to really get her going and just before she finishes STOP! Get up and walk away.. then later have a serious conversation about her priorities.
MrBrightside21 20
I'd be satisfied to have anyone with a female reproductive organ.
noelasis94 18
Sounds like a classic case of blue balls
maronofhearts 19
You might want to retake health class Men have balls women have ovaries so if the man is not finishing it's definitely not blue ovaries unless smurfette is his gf
mkcherry 14
sometimes sex can be painful/feel weird right after you ****** maybe try softer foreplay and then giving her recoup time. OR talk to her about how selfish she is, don't suffer through a crap sex life it will only leach into the rest of your relationship.
melacortez 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Greedy girl screw her and move on to the next one
SomeRandomGuy15 18
The OP is already screwing her!
spazz666 18
I think screwing her is what's causing the issue.
starcrossddream 14
Teach her the joys of multiple orgasms. She will thank you eventually :)
crammer1 6
Not all women can have multiples.
icanhazblivions 1
sounds like every man on the planet. ydi. ha.
DocBastard 40
Hahaha **** you. Not all of us are selfish assholes in bed. And in conclusion, **** you and your ridiculous generalisation.
nikolkaw 9
You could finish it off yourself if she won't want to continue? Or talk to her about it? Problems sadly won't solve themselves unless you confront them :(
nikolkaw 9
You could finish it off yourself if she won't want to continue? Or talk to her about it? Problems sadly won't solve themselves unless you confront them :(