Intimacy: Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen...

By Anonymous - 12/07/2012 06:40 - United States - Houston

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 345

You deserved it 4 715

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Same thing different taste

By ElephantLover - 11/12/2013 20:14 - United States - San Diego

Today, my grandma added to my elephant collection by giving me some underwear with elephant ears on the hips, and a long, sock-like nose. She has no idea they're meant for a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 847

You deserved it 5 393

By noantiquesforme - 30/03/2015 18:39 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 744

You deserved it 2 727

By sammy18f - 24/02/2015 03:46 - United States - Brentwood

Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 104

You deserved it 3 780

By theunluckylifeofme - 26/06/2013 20:33 - United States - Gilroy

Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 759

You deserved it 5 104

By not a dick-man - 12/08/2014 17:05 - Canada - Victoria

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 718

You deserved it 31 539

By Anonymous - 12/01/2011 05:31 - Canada

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 230

You deserved it 6 617

By Anonymous - 01/12/2011 03:11 - United States

Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 347

You deserved it 4 395

By bridezilla - 05/07/2009 04:12 - Canada

Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 482

You deserved it 6 852

By lovingthis - 09/01/2013 16:48 - United States - Largo

Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 189

You deserved it 5 239

I am sexy

By Anonymous - 19/12/2019 18:00

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 457

You deserved it 495

bengermin 5

Thursday 12 July 2012 15:51

It'd probably have been way scarier if it had tusks.

KBeatz 5

Thursday 12 July 2012 15:53

You should have kicked the elephant in the chin.

Comments

JJCJXOX 0

Thursday 12 July 2012 17:15

Bubzbeauty posted a similar tweet on her twitter....

Xxlaurahatakexx 9

Thursday 12 July 2012 17:25

Lololololol

Matthu85 5

Thursday 12 July 2012 17:32

Oldest one in the book.

MIDMichele 5

Thursday 12 July 2012 17:33

That's funny. This guy should be in vegas.

jboyajian86 1

Thursday 12 July 2012 17:34

Made my day. I would like to meet this guy he's probably got lots of jokes

annejayy 7

Thursday 12 July 2012 17:41

Apart from that being slightly rapey that's actually really clever.

SimplyEerb 3

Thursday 12 July 2012 17:54

People like this make life.... interesting

rsunshine2020 13

Thursday 12 July 2012 17:55

At least he didn't ask you to ride the elephant.. That would be horrifying

Blake3815 0

Friday 13 July 2012 0:41

I dunno, an elephant that old probably would be a bore to ride lol

rsunshine2020 13

Friday 13 July 2012 2:31

You never know.. Technically he's more experienced... Lol who am I kidding, it probably would be a bore haha

kemeka 0

Thursday 12 July 2012 18:06

I would have done the same thing to him so we could be even.

sougstad 7

Thursday 12 July 2012 18:06

I wonder if elephantitis ball accompany this "sex nose.". I like it though, I may try that with my next one nighter

Keywords

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I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 619

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I agree, your life sucks 72 090

You deserved it 18 232

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 179

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I agree, your life sucks 13 135

You deserved it 53 992

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I agree, your life sucks 1 036

You deserved it 106

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I agree, your life sucks 50 263

You deserved it 7 881

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I agree, your life sucks 615

You deserved it 122

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I agree, your life sucks 1 802

You deserved it 396

Same thing different taste

I am sexy

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