Budget Spa By FML Approved - 25/10/2017 20:30 Who else is ready to take a personal day with this dog? I agree, your life sucks 501 You deserved it 118 Share Tweet Share
Today, I decided to talk to a girl at the gym I had seen there a lot. I walked up to her at the station she was at and asked her out to dinner sometime. I didn't realize she had been wearing headphones. She took them off and asked if I was waiting on the station. My courage left. I said yes. FML I agree, your life sucks 25 708 You deserved it 4 917
Today, I discovered that anyone can see your Threads replies to other people. My wife kicked me out of our house because she saw one I made under a high school friend’s gym selfie, saying, “I’d walk 100 miles barefoot through broken glass and rusty nails just to hear dat ass fart on a walkie talkie." FML I agree, your life sucks 60 You deserved it 1 285
Today, I woke up and brushed my teeth as usual. My brother had decided it would be a good time to prank me and rubbed a ton of salt into my toothbrush. A while later, he stood outside the bathroom door repeatedly saying sorry. It was Epsom salt. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 659 You deserved it 161
Today, my dad texted me, saying "My dicks so hard 4 u". I'm desperately hoping he meant to send that to his girlfriend instead. FML I agree, your life sucks 34 878 You deserved it 2 486
Today, my mom asked me if I was crying because my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. That wasn't why I was crying. My mom knows things before I do. FML I agree, your life sucks 55 023 You deserved it 3 082
Today, I had severe constipation. I went to get some more laxatives when I felt something fall onto the top of my head. I reached up to see what it was and it turned out to be quite a large spider. Guess who isn't constipated anymore. FML I agree, your life sucks 14 649 You deserved it 1 132
Today, I'm working in China and I had to explain to my boss that no, it's not okay to not pay me for 3 months. FML I agree, your life sucks 934 You deserved it 82
Today, I messaged my two best friends for emotional support. I don't normally do this, as I feel like I'm bothering people, but I was having a breakdown. One never replied; the other said, "Everyone is having a hard time" then talked about her own problems. FML I agree, your life sucks 967 You deserved it 135
I see carrots. Is it a bath, or are they making a stew?
Ok... that is just too cute for words! :)